She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

I’ve lived in Italy and loads of people can’t speak enough English to hold a conversation - definitely not just older generations but people my age (20s at the time). Just sayin. However, I agree that people who already speak 3 languages fluently can generally quite easily pick up a 4th - and are less likely to be self conscious about speaking it.

Fair play to you for accepting that YABVVVVU.

Based on my own knowledge of that region I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the standard of her conversational English. She will be pretty much C1 or C2 in her three primary languages and probably wants to manage your expectations a bit if her English isn't quite as proficient. She will likely be a comfortable B1 speaker at minimum but will be conscious that her English is not as fluent as her other three (!) languages.

I hope that the experience of meeting her opens up your world a bit.

English is always the second language taught in schools across Europe so something in her story doesn't add up.

This is far from true. We are south of Germany and French is the second language taught in schools. I would imagine it depends entirely where you are and which country borders where you live. In some French schools, German is the second language and in some Spanish speaking schools it's German too.

Despite popular British belief, English is not the be-all and end-all.

As others say she’ll probably learn English soon enough.

@User757373: "True trilingualism in the sense of being able to fluently speak, understand read, write and think in three languages is vanishingly rare."

I can think of several regions in Europe where it's quite commonplace. Northern Italy and Switzerland are perhaps the best known of these. True bilingualism (plus functional fluency in another language or more) is even more common.

Glad you've come round to it OP. I think you're going to get on fine!

Actually, yes. Stay away from her OP. Don't bother yourself.

Aw she sounds sweet and just as nervous as you are. It's not a modern languages exam! I think you're worrying unnecessarily, it will be fine.

How good is your Italian ?.

She grew up between Italy and Switzerland and yes, with all your knowledge of languages there's a pocket of the world that's actually fluent in Italian, German, and French all at the same time. Shock

Leaving aside many other really unsettling comments here

1. I know many people who speak 3 languages well enough to watch TV and talk to people in that language. I don't know if it's like 'academic paper writing' level but not a lot of people can do that in any language.
2. I took French at school but if I went to a French speaking home, that really wouldn't mean much. So even if she did have English at school there's no judgement from me if it didn't stick. You need to speak a language regularly to actually feel comfortable in it. If they're moving to the UK, I'm guessing she'll be fine in less time than you think. Immersion is the easiest way.

please try to see this as an opportunity! If you become friends, maybe you can go with her to see her family some time and experience travelling and being surrounded by people speaking another language. No judgement from me that you haven't yet - I grew up in the states and more people than you'd think never leave that country. But it was amazing when I started seeing other places and it really does help you see just how big and interesting the world is. I really encourage you to take this as the first step in experiencing some new things - you might really like it.

Oh for goodness sake. It's not hard work.

Have you never been to another country op?

Or are you just taking the piss?

🤔

Ah I think this explains a lot.

Don't worry OP and go into it with an attitude of making do and having fun. You have your DB, Google translate (which is honestly excellent and will translate voice to text in close to real time) and a smattering of each other's languages.

Put some old photos and videos of your brother as a child in your phone and whip that out and share those with her if conversation does get awkward!

You sound charming!
Of course there's every point. She's your sister in law!
Jesus.

Awww your brother sounds lovely and thoughtful.

Duolingo is great for learning basic conversation skills in a short time.

Probably one of those things you need to attend if just to please your mother but it sounds like hard work. Maybe just smile and keep it simple, and charge the Prosecco to your brother.

Agree with @RedToothBrush . Communication isn't just words. It's non-verbal communication too. Most European countries have common non-verbal gestures and face expressions as British people. I have helped people whilst at work with not one drop of the English language (and why should we expect them to know English anyway?) and with a lot of sign language, gestures, pointing, and a well known translator on my phone we get our points across.

@Dannnyy Glad you've taken onboard the feedback and that you'll go and speak a bit of French to her.

It's important you go to show you welcome her into the family and support your brother.

Apparently Slavic (East Slavic: Includes Russian, Ukrainian, and Belarusian
West Slavic: Includes Polish, Czech, and Slovak, South Slavic: Includes Bulgarian, Macedonian, Slovenian, Bosnian, Croatian, and Serbian) and Scandinavian languages (Danish, Norwegian and Swedish) are so similar that speakers of one language can understand and speak the others.
So she may well be fluent in three languages but not English.

How many European languages do you speak?

if she’s a linguist, her idea of “speaking” English may well be different from yours - as you say, she may well have schoolgirl level skills, but doesn’t regard it as worth much. I would say that I don’t speak French if asked, for example, although I have a GCSE from many years ago and can get by in a restaurant perfectly adequately.

It is actually sad to read this.

I have done a lot of backpacking trips in my life for long periods of time. My wanderings took me to some very remote places where english wasn't spoken, even by bus drivers or shopkeepers.
And you know what- it was fun. Building bridges with other people stretches our creativity, we find other ways to bond, and realise as humans we have far more in common than differences.
Our clumsy attempts to communicate were met with openess and hilarity. Locals thought our mimes of a bus, mosquito coil or chicken were highly amusing, but we managed to build bonds and I hope good feeling.

OP this is an opportunity to expand your world views, build bonds and bridges in ways you had not previously imagined.

French, German and Italian are all widely taught in the UK. It's likely that you would have studied one of the first two at school.

So why not brush up (or learn) a second language yourself, rather than expecting her to learn a fourth language? Wouldn't it be lovely and welcoming to speak to her in French, say, and join in conversations with her and your brother?

You come across as very xenophobic, thinking the onus is on the "foreigner" to learn English. Why should she? She is already fluent in 3 languages. If you only have one language, surely it's far better that you learn another one than that she does!