She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

YABU and YABU - you are being unpleasant.

Quelle surprise

OP I think it'll be fine. I grew up in a small Scottish town where many people didn't travel much and they would have been nervous about someone coming into the family who wasn't a good English speaker, so I do get it up to a point. But she will be feeling much more apprehensive than you, so try to see it from her side. She really needs you all to reach out and make an effort here.

Personally, I would be really enthusiastic about a SIL like this young woman. I love languages and would find communicating with her really fun. You say you already speak some French, so you could brush it up a bit before the meal and have a few welcoming phrases prepared.

Incidentally, I go skiing in the Dolomites and my ski instructor was fluent in four languages plus his own local dialect. He explained that at secondary school they study - for example - History in German, Geography in Italian, and Science in Ladin, the local dialect. They may have studied French too; I'm not sure. He then went on to learn English to help in his job. So totally possible to be fluent in three without being a language scholar.

@Dutch1e your FIL sounds adorable by the way. That's a brilliant example of how to welcome someone new into the family.

Wow. I am speechless

Wow.

She probably speaks conversational English, just can’t understand northern very well.

It takes a lot of time to learn a language to the point of making proper conversation, and as the brother and his fiancée live abroad, the need to use it is hardly ever going to arise. So it's a daft suggestion.

All that's needed is warmth, sign language, brother to translate, or your phone and Google translate. And with that warmth, giving the fiancée confidence to use the English that she has.

She has updated to say she has never left these shores.

If you select See All in the OP it will just show all of the OP's posts.

I personally don't find it an issue that OP only speaks English. What is unreasonable is her reaction to meeting her brother's fiancee. Saying meeting someone who is going to become part of your immediate family is 'pointless' that's just horrible and shows how unwelcoming and ignorant she is.

@Dannnyy Do you travel much or do you just holiday in England?

It has probably already been mentioned, but why don't you learn her language? Why be so selfish? She knows 3, how many do you know?

How many languages do YOU speak?

She took the time to learn THREE, if you cannot find any way to communicate thats on your own laziness and lack of care by the sounds of it.

We actually just a had a little FaceTime, my brother said it might ease her nerves and mine. She seems lovely, accent might be more of an issue than the language itself.

They have no plans to move to the UK though, they just recently moved to Paris and seem very happy and settled.

your brother sounds lovely. It would be nice if you made the effort to speak a few sentences in French for her. I am sure she is wanting to meet you and be able to converse in English also. It sounds like you've had very limited experience with other languages and cultures? This is your chance to learn :)

I'm very glad you decided to meet her. It's immensely lonely and isolating being an immigrant and small things can make a world of difference.

When I first met my now-inlaws, my MIL has a talent for languages so we chatted away in English. My FIL is quite different... we didn't share a single word of a common language. But he smiled broadly, grasped my upper arm in a warm squeeze then waggled a bottle of rosé at me to ask if I'd like a glass.

It was another year before I learned enough Dutch to get to know him properly but he never got awkward or turned cold.

I really can't express how touched I was by their welcome, I often think it was one of the solidifying reasons I made such an effort to stay (my job is remote, we could have lived anywhere).

Quelle surprise 🙄

This is a nice thread in that you've taken the advice given and softened/changed your thinking. A very rare thing!

My Ukrainian friend's husband speaks very little English. I spent time with them when they accompanied us and another couple on a trip, and he really is one of the nicest men you could ever meet! Always laughing, offering a beer, pointing out scenes that were funny or worth looking at and appreciating them together - all without the necessity of understanding a word being said. He has real personality - is someone I feel I know.

There certainly wasn't a moment of awkwardness between any of us. Sometimes language transcends words.

YABU

You are being unbelievably unreasonable. Poor woman coming into a family where her future SIL sticks her nose in the air and refuses to socialise with her?!

She's a linguist - anyone who speaks three languages already has the ability to soak up another one. She's already worked to be understood in three different languages. She's making a start on yours. Can you make an effort to say hi how are you in hers?

İnspired by this thread, would anyone like to have a Duolingo or language learning thread where we can check in and encourage one another?

My brothers bride had to have a translator at their wedding. She is from Thailand. Poor woman.
Things could be worse OP.
Immersion in the language will boost her understanding and she might appreciate your effort with her. You might grow to like her too over time.

Most communication is non verbal.

You are communicating very clearly how you feel about her.

Your brother sounds really nice. It seems like you have built this up to be worse in your head than it actually is.

^ This is actually a brilliant idea which I have stolen for future use

If there are language barriers, I find a pack of Uno cards fab. It’s a game which needs little space or explanation and you can bond with minimal conversation. We often play at restaurants while waiting for our food.