She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

Colour me surprised you’ve never been further than your front gate.

What is her first language?

YBU My bil could barely speak English, it would have been incredibly rude not to have met up with him on that basis.

Why not try learning how to say Hello for a start? Duolingo, and Google Translate are good apps to use.

Definitely worth meeting her. Her partner can translate, you'll understand at least part of what she says herself, and vice versa. Make it fun.
We have inlaws we see occasionally where there's a big language gap and it is rather hard work but perfectly OK so long as everyone relaxes.

Imagine being so parochial that you've never left the UK and don't want to meet a future member of the family.

Mind boggled.

Communication is not just language.

If you care about your family it won't be a waste of time and it should be good fun. You will get an idea of whether she is a nice person or not irrespective of her command of English. A lot of human communication is non-verbal and she is likely to have a very good passive understanding of English, even if she doesn't speak it. Before the meal, learn to exchange greetings in her native language - it will go a long way to setting her at ease. After that, just smile and enjoy the meal and let your brother translate as needed.

Well maybe she considers you as being unreasonable because you can't speak the 3 languages that she can. You don't sound like a very welcoming person tbh and your soon to be SIL is better off not meeting you.

Sounds like you've worked it out, but as an aside I would look into booking a foreign holiday. It's astonishing how much communication can take place with just gestures, pointing and a few words.

Answering your question about the assumption of everyone in Europe learning English in school. I am Italian and even if it is the case now, it wasn't when I was in primary/secondary. In primary/middle school half the classes were assigned English as a second language and the other half French. When I went to secondary, I picked French and German (I am from an area where German tourists are predominant). I didn't learn English until much later in life, and this is not unusual if you are over 30.

Yes, that is weird.

Well done OP.

It is awkward and stilted, but you just make the best of it.

I'm glad DH's Grandparents didn't refuse to meet me because I didn't speak French nor them English.

It sounds like the issue is your parents assuming she can’t converse more than anything and passing that message in to you! I expect when you meet you’ll be able to get by just fine with each other.

Weird because you can only use 1 name per thread. Maybe logged back in with a different account!?

Are you the OP? You've had a NC fail if so.

OP, I'm from a rural, insular northern town too (and from the 'mam and dad' I'm guessing one not far from you) and despite doing three languages at school I was painfully shy about speaking any of them outside the classroom let alone to a native speaker. I had a strong accent in English, so I didn't even know if I'd be understood. A French trip to Paris was not helpful in that respect...

See this as an opportunity to use the French you learned with someone who will be positive and encouraging - after all, wasn't this the whole point of those hours in class, so you could communicate with someone? She's not going to judge you - and this will be as awkward for her as for you. Making a bit of effort, and shrugging off the initial discomfort, will mean a lot.

Assuming you want an ongoing relationship with your brother, then you take the situation as it is and do the best you can. Your brother will translate and you'll also be able to communicate directly with the English she does know and gestures. There's a great deal that can be communicate in the way of warmth and welcome that doesn't require proficiency in a shared language. Her English will improve the more time she spends around English speakers and communication will become easier.

I totally agree with this!
How bloody rude that you don't want to meet your brothers girlfriend just because she doesn't speak English!
Maybe you should go, so she can judge your attitude for herself and then tell your brother she doesn't want to meet you again!

I agree, much as it might go against the grain, try moderating your own natural accent to be more standard English to help her understanding. She's doing most of the understanding work while she's in the UK.

So if she was deaf and dumb would you refuse to ever meet her because you couldn't communicate easily?

Whyever would you not want to meet your future sister in law and get to know her?

I wouldn’t bother meeting as you clearly don’t give a shit anyway.

I lived in Switzerland for a while in my youth and yes it is entirely possible for someone to speak fluent German, French and Italian but only a little English. I suspect though the reason why your future SIL doesn't appear to speak / understand any English is your parents' heavy Northern accent which to be honest a lot of English southerners struggle to understand at times. Be patient and speak slowly and if possible with your best "telephone voice" (a neutral BBC accent). You'll be surprised how much you can understand each other. As you've never left the country, it'll be a real asset to have a relative from lovely places like Italy and France. Makes future holiday much easier to have a local as guide.

I think on reading it all again, what's happening here is a natural personal shyness and reserved nature, plus lack of experience of travelling and meeting people from other languages and cultures, plus maybe feeling intimidated by the thought of meeting an accomplished cosmopolitan and much younger woman?

I'd say chuck yourself in! Grab a tourists guide to one of the languages, and have a drinkie and a bash at a conversation.

Make her feel welcome and that effort will make you feel good.