She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

Find out what her post-grad is. Three languages and completing an MA? Or could be PhD if you ask your DB. A SiL with a brain the size of a planet and you're worried about a language difference?
I hail from a mining/ceramic town and we aren't as insular as your place seems to be.
AND I get by in France,Italy and Spain with language skills. Because I have a GCSE in French and taught myself Italian and Spanish . Because I'm not a knob.

It's strange that a Northern town is so mono cultural. There's usually minority groups living in them.

I love that you did that, OP, and I bet your brother was (secretly) thrilled. I’m sure you’ll all have a great time.

Not everyone wants to travel. My overseas holidays consist of one to Corfu and a few to the US and I hope I never have to set foot in an airport again, travelling is too much hassle.

I would however meet my future sister in law - although it might be hard work to start with I'm sure it would improve.

How quick to judge without taking the time to read all the ops responses, btw she sounds like a lovely person unlike you 😘

Please read the OP's updates.

God, you're miserable, poor woman!

I can see where you're coming from, I've done it with brothers in laws and they didn't speak English and it was bloody painful and awkward even though we tried to make it fun so yanu for not wanting to go but I feel you kind of have to go if she is to become your sis in law and as support for your parents, best of luck

I don't have professional experience here @User757373 but I do know a fair few people who are fluent in 3 languages (or more) but not English. Quite a few of those are DH's extended family. They tend to underplay rather than overplay it - if one of his relatives says (s)he speaks three languages it's a fair bet that it's actually more. DH's grandfather and DH spoke to each other in English - and grandfather had learned 6 other languages fluently before he started on English.

DH has a fair few relatives who speak 3/4 languages but not much or any English - a couple of great aunts, for example. He had one great aunt who he couldn't speak to directly much, because although he speaks reasonable French (he's bilingual, but French is a third), her French tended to be mixed up with other languages and he couldn't always follow.

Makes me laugh when english people always think it is every one else's responsibility to learn their language. Sign up to Duolingo and improve your french. It's free. Be a bit adventurous and do something out of your comfort zone. Maybe you and your new sister in law can get together and help each other out.

Fair play to you, OP, for taking the answers on board and being willing to give it a go. Some posters clearly haven't read the whole thread before replying!

@Enko

He has learned some of my 1st.language mainly a beer please and mother in law.

This is adorable! 😁

Don’t be cunty. Make the effort to welcome her into your family.

students are typically exposed to RP or American accents, so she may find it challenging to understand yours. While it might feel frustrating, the closer you can adjust your accent to standard English pronunciation, the easier it will be for her to follow.

That resonated with me.

I have A level French and used to do French evening classes to keep up with it.

We holidayed in the south of France several years ago, and the French spoken there bore no resemblance to the French I learned at school.

For example, the way they said twenty (vingt) sounded more like vingty than vant.

What region of French are we taught here - Parisian?

If mil just spoke slowly in a normal level.tone you would get it too wouldn't you?

Fair play to you. I wonder whether you have some anxiety about certain social situations and feeling awkward?

There was a great post above by the pp with a dh who didn't speak English - good tips there.

Let your DB translate the conversation. It works in our family even though it’s a bit of a pain for the translator. A lot is communicated with smiles, gestures and as time goes on it should get easier. I was brought up that anyone who is a bf, gf, partner or potential partner who is introduced into the family is shown they are welcome and that we all make the effort to show that they are.

You have a terrible attitude and you’re being very unreasonable. It is probably better you stay away as clearly you have no interest in meeting her or showing some support for your brother. I would say things will go very well with your absence. It’s not really their loss.

I would still go, it will look bad if you don’t.

Most of XH family couldn’t speak hardly any English but still had an enjoyable time at gatherings with them. If she can speak 3 languages already that’s great, not many English people could!

As a Czech citizen, therefore English not being my first language, I'm saying YANBU.
I wouldn't bother either, funnily enough.
Maybe 25 years ago, when they accommodated myself and my difficulties, everything was different.

But you expect her to speak a fourth language to accommodate you? 🤨

Seriously, go somewhere. Anywhere. It's not the 1850s

And expect everyone to speak English.

I bet her level of English is much better than she is letting on.

I live in Switzerland, everyone I know is bilingual (minority language area so they have to be), lots are trilingual and many speak 4+ languages. The amount of people who say they only speak a little bit of English, then start talking in complicated sentences 😂

Be kind and patient, a smile speaks a 1000 words

I sat beside a Japanese woman this week who constantly apologised that she couldn't speak English. We had a really interesting conversation, in English.

In my experience, people who do not have English as their first language always underestimate their ability. I say this as someone who teaches English as a second language.

Have a bit of patience and show an interest in her culture. You might learn something.

It sounds fine, and this woman's English is probably better than she thinks by now, because of having a lot of contact with an English speaker, even if they often use other languages. Good point that strong Northern accents will make it harder for her. Hope it goes well.

I've made this thread, inspired by the OP, for anyone learning or wanting to learn a language...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students/5259480-a-language-learning-thread-for-all-abilities