She doesn't speak English - pointless meeting up

A lot more talking required though!

And here I thought blatantly colonial 'better than thou' attitudes had gone out of fashion some time ago. OP, what you're suggesting is disrespectful to the extreme.

As for the astonishment that someone from a Western European country does not speak English: Germany, France and Italy all have population sizes similar to or greater than that of the UK. (And their own colonial pasts and xenophobic attitudes, but let's not get into that right now.) Most people there can go through their entire lives just fine without speaking anything but their native language, if you can imagine it. And they certainly do not see speaking English as anything to aspire to.

Have you ever tried to order a coffee in English in Paris without at least making the effort of starting with 'Bonjour'? I can only recommend you try it, and see how it feels to be on the receiving end of your own attitudes.

I've had conversations with people when we don't speak the same language. Go for the meal, just smile and be nice.

This is the perfect opportunity for you to broaden your horizons. Don't rely on your brother to translate - use body language, pictures and photos on your phone, etc to communicate. Much more fun and open.

OP what a pile on. Sounds to me like your issue could be with being asked to care about a brother you were never close to.

And if he was the little prince and your mother seems overinvested in his happiness, I understand. (Speculating I know.) But perhaps it's a chance to meet as grownups, on a different level?

Have deepl translation open on your phone. I'd want to ask her about food, they must have interesting dishes in that border region.

Probably one of the most British posts I have ever read!

I understand the sentiment but English is in a category of its own as the global lingua franca. Especially in Europe, I think it's reasonable to select English as the most likely shared language to hold a conversation in, so comparing her not knowing English to him not knowing Fr/De/It isn't a fair comparison, in my opinion.

YABVU OP. Please make the effort, she will be your SIL soon and her opinion of you will be far better if you try rather than not bother going. Extend the hand of welcome, you don't need to speak the same language to show her friendliness!

In the past I travelled with my then-husband to a country where I didn't speak the language to meet his family, but it was good (if quite tiring at times) and there was no lack of warmth or welcome, I was sad to say goodbye!

This is great then, you can embrace this as a new opportunity. Show her love. You’ll feel good inside and it’ll make your brother proud to show you off! Take a small gift.

‘peace starts with a smile’

And don't forget to gesticulate wildly.

Anyway, she might be nice and you might find you connect with her. If not, then at least you've made her feel welcome in the family if you make an effort to engage with her which hopefully she'll appreciate.

OP - now you want to start off with a good will attitude. Anyway it may be a blessing she doesn't speak English. You need to go with the flow on this and be your charming self.

Maybe she finds it weird you do t speak any of the 3 languages she does?!

Go. Learn her mother tongue and she's already started learning yours.

Then you'll be able to speak half the number of languages she does

I started German and Spanish with Duolingo. It's great for basics, including 'My bear is doing Yoga'. Seriously though, there are loads of learning resources out there.

Given where she's from and the languages she knows, when she says she doesn't speak English she might just mean she doesn't speak it to the standard of the other languages she knows. I'd be astonished if a young woman from that part of the world who is open minded enough to have a foreign boyfriend knew no English at all. Anyway, it's good you've recognised you were being unreasonable - hope you enjoy the evening!

Yabvvu - of course you should meet her. It's not about you.

I get that it's a bit scary.
Smile lots, be friendly. Say hello in one of the languages. She might be nervous too!

If you have some knowledge of one of the languages can you learn some more of that? I'm doing duo lingo at the moment, with French, a language I learnt at school. It's surprising how quickly it's coming back and I'm learning new words each day now as well.

As others have said, translation apps on Google etc are very good. We were once in an Italian village; we don’t speak Italian and the Italians speak very quickly, but we managed and had a great time! OP, I think you just feel a little daunted by the situation, but I promise you, it’ll be fine! After all, you’re your DB’s family - don’t you think she’ll be a bit nervous meeting his family for the first time? Just be friendly, and remember that a smile and eye contact go a long way!

This is a brilliant opportunity for you. Honestly you might not be able to have a standard conversation but you WILL be able to communicate.

It's a valuable experience in its own right.

My BIL doesn’t speak much English. I don’t speak much of his language. BIL and SIL have been together 11 years now, and we still manage to meet up for a 2 week holiday every year (they live in his home country). It’s fine, and we get by, helped by the fact that both of us speak a decent amount of a third language.
The thing that stands out is that you expect her to speak multiple languages but you only speak English. Why do you have higher expectations of her than you do of yourself?

Are you joking?? If not, YABVVVVVVVU.

Communication is about so much more than speech. Fine if he will be translating, you can still read smiles, how they are together.

You sound a very negative person though so maybe it’s best you don’t meet. For their sakes.

Her standard of "not speaking English" is probably going to mean she will speak a bit! If she speaks German and Italian she will be able to muddle along with words

Embrace it. It may turn out fun.

Having a sense of humour about it all is a good thing.

You are not unreasonable in feeling awkward many would in your situation. But let it slide and allow the awkwardness it will soon go.

She may turn into a good friend in time.

Just speak slowly and shout. Oh, and make sure you all go to a restaurant where you can order a full English or fish and chips …..