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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s okay to stay friends with an ex, even if your current partner is uncomfortable with it?

33 replies

MyCraftyHazelSeal · 23/01/2025 22:16

I have an ex who has been a good friend for years and our relationship ended amicably. My current partner, however, feels uneasy about it and has asked me to cut ties. I believe that trust is key and I don’t think I should lose a meaningful friendship because of someone else’s insecurity. AIBU to think it’s okay to stay friends with an ex or is this crossing a boundary?

OP posts:
Doobeedoodoo · 23/01/2025 22:21

How long have you been with your partner. If it’s new relationship i’f be wary to cut ties with a friend just because current partner disagrees. For all you know, he might have controlling tendencies or other unsavoury character traits you don’t know about yet.

BIWI · 23/01/2025 22:19

If my DH had told me I had to cut ties with previous boyfriends, with whom I was still friends, he would never have made it to DH status.

CillaDog · 23/01/2025 22:19

I think it's fine. In many cases (kids involved etc) it's better to be amicable.

However even when not, it's okay to have a relationship and know it's ran its course or that it wasn't serving you and still like and care about the person.

People are bizarrely all or nothing about it, but in reality many people have a few relationships that didn't work out through due to either individuals own fault so why not be friends? Healthier all round.

Busywithsomething · 23/01/2025 22:19

I think it's best to respect the wishes of your partner

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 23/01/2025 22:18

It depends what you would expect if the roles were reversed. Would you be happy with your partner spending time with someone that made YOU feel uncomfortable?

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/01/2025 22:18

It’s crossing a boundary for your partner. So decide who’s more important.

morbidd · 23/01/2025 22:18

Nah sounds like new partner's insecurities. They are the one being unreasonable.

Pussycat22 · 23/01/2025 22:17

Are there children involved?