Partner always being early is driving me mad!

My Dad was like this. He'd get so impatient with us (never angry) even if we weren't late, and would go and wait in the car with the engine running. Mum and I hated it.

I'd be more stressed at the thought of giving them an extra hour of my time for free every day! If he works 5 days a week, that's 20 extra hours a month! That's quite a lot imo.

Leaving an hour for the commute seems reasonable, in case of traffic or whatever but nearly 2 hours is a bit silly.

If the commute really stresses him out to this extent, I'm not sure there's much you can do about it. Maybe ask him to reduce his leave time bit by bit, say 10 mins a week until he's at the hour mark. That will still leave enough time and include extra for any unforeseen circumstances that may unfold.

This is true. I was responding to a poster who asked why it would be a problem for OP for him to be so early - these are some reasons it could be a problem. Of course, it would be better if OP explained why (if) it causes her problems.

At this point, the OP hasn't actually said in what way it affects her day to day.

Anxiety was my first thought. At least he cares about his job and takes it seriously. Sounds reliable. I can see why it's annoying though

Does he insist on you being early too, if you have a shared engagement? And does he angrily put you under pressure to be early?

I have experienced this. I would ask for total clarity about the departure time and they would still start nagging me half an hour before that pre-agreed time. Used to make me so fucking angry.

He’d be my perfect employee. I totally detest being late for work & cos the traffic into work from mine is at best , mad, at peak hours, I often give myself 2.5hrs to travel. It’s normally 1hr15nins four to door. It’s such that if by 30 before my start time I haven’t shown up , they ring me to check all us well. I’ve worked for the same company for 13yrs & this has only happened 2ce.

Does he do this with other things, like getting flights?

i guess the question would be how common are delays vs being on time if using normal time frame

It’s totally disproportionate. It’s not good practice in any normal sense. I’m not, btw, criticising him but no one with half a brain would recommend it, unless the consequences of being late were truly too horrific to contemplate.

A couple of people at my work get there 45-60 minutes early. One of them just sits in his car outside for ages and the other comes in but goes on his phone. I think they have anxiety about getting stuck in traffic although one only lives fifteen minutes away!

My dh sets off ridiculously early for things (although not quite as bad) he is also so slow, so cooking a meal takes hours. Painting a wall several days.

It never bothered me until we had kids and I realised I had to do 75% of the jobs and manage kids while he did 25% slowly

My first guess would be anxiety. Purely because I have a family member who does the same thing and I know that is definitely anxiety. Might be worth considering.

in a sense its good practice, especially when traffic etc and other factors could cause delays

Fair.

OP do you have kids?

And is he waking you earlier than necessary in the morning because of this?

I managed a guy like that years ago. It was awkward. He would turn up 1.5 - 2 hours before his 4 hour shift and kind of just stand around getting in the way. People would then feel compelled to make chit chat and then before long everyone had downed tools.

Looking back it was pretty clear that he was ND.

I imagine if they had young children it would be the biggest point in the OP, not that other people find it weird.

Depends. If OP works and they have quite young children then it’s very likely she doesn’t have a spare hour a day.

It would be completely unlikely if the OP couldn’t carve one 1 hour of the day to do what she wants.

Nothing is inherently more useful than anything else! If OP’s DH wants to sit and have a quiet coffee instead of going to the gym that’s his decision.

Going to the gym is useful, keeps you healthy and fit.

Hanging around at work, if he doesn’t actually need to be there and others don’t even start till much later, does nobody any good.

Does OP get an hour every day doing nothing useful, just hanging about? Bet she doesn’t

Yes that is ridiculous. What is he like with other things? Does he insist on being ridiculously early when you go out together? I don't like being late but being over an hour early is just a massive waste of time. What does he do during that hour?

A whole extra hour he could be doing chores! Come off it. Everyone is allowed some degree of autonomy in their own schedule. If he was at the gym for 45 mins would that not be allowed because every minute of his non working time should be spent “doing something useful”?

Unless your have children that he’s dumping on you when he could be helping then who cares when he arrives at work?
Maybe he likes to sit down with a coffee before work rather than jump straight in after a stressful journey?
Maybe it saves time on traffic leaving earlier?