AIBU for not moving back to my husband’s house?

Aww this isn't a marriage and he is not a good man.

You're out now, please dont go back..no matter what he says. He wont change. He will tell you what you need to hear and then it'll happen again.

You dont deserve to be treated like this. Stay strong, see a solicitor and file for divorce.

Don't go back. I wouldn't. If he says he loves you, tell him to give you some percentage of the property legally. However, even if he does that (which I doubt), he will most likely find another thing to grind you down about... for example that you don't work, or that you don't earn enough, or that the house is dirty, etc.
It's very strange he is acting like that in the initial years of marriage. Was this an arranged marriage? I'm asking because I have some in my own family and the man behaves exactly like this. I'm afraid it's just the mysoginistic attitude that they grow up with, you can't change that.

Don’t you dare go back to that house

He is abusive, and it will only get worse you say yourself you don’t miss him, so why bother with a relationship that will only get worse if you live with him or not

Just leave him, divorce and move on

Talk to a solicitor. You likely have a claim to a portion of the house. You are not at all unreasonable not to go back, and soon you will be living securely and free of these frequent fights

You shouldn't go back.

But there sounds like there is a strong chance you will.

If that's the case, make it a condition that your name is put on the deeds of the house so that you legally own half of it. Do this by making an appointment with a solicitor of your choice and you both sign in the presence of that solicitor.

If he won't agree to that then don't move back as he is telling you that the cycle will continue.

(It will anyway because he is abusing you but it won't be about the house, it will be something else).

He's abusive. And a total arsehole. And all that "effort over the past few weeks" will be abandoned and he will return to his cycle of abuse. Truthfully, he hasn't left it - his current effort is just the part of the cycle where he reels you back in.

It's no way to live.

"Tbh he doesn’t do this every argument. Maybe around 10% of the time."
And yet he has asked you to move out several times. That's a lot or arguments in a three year period. The early years of a marriage are often called the honeymoon period, because the couple are still on their 'best behaviour', trying to impress the wonderful person they've found to share their life with. He's obviously not seeking to impress you. I'd go so far as to say he is actively trying to grid you down, to leave you a shell of your former self.

"He also told me he would not pack my things."
Because he wants you to go back and fetch your stuff. Don't. Have you friends you could send round to fetch it for you? Preferably at least one of them being a big burly bloke? He sounds to me the type who will have a go at a woman, but not at a man.

"Thing is I don’t even feel upset or hurt. I don’t even miss him."
Good! That will keep you safe. I expect his behaviour has simply killed your feelings for him.

"I will look to buy somewhere for myself and live there."
I would set the ball rolling on divorcing him ASAP. I would not risk buying a place for myself and finding he had a claim on it, so I wouldn't be buying until I was legally free of him.

Actually, there's a thought - you're married, so the house being in his sole name doesn't mean you have no financial claim over it. Has he realised that, and that is what's behind his current "effort"?

OMFG

Well done to you for removing the "power" he thinks he holds over you.

He is at the FO stage of the FAFO move he has pulled multiple times. Sucks to be him.

Absolute shitwad. Id be extrapolating myself from him permanently for that shit.

Hes vile, abusive and angry and the only thing he misses is someone to take his anger out on. Enjoy your freedom definitely don't go back!

This reminds me of one of those 'what was the moment that told you you were done' threads. Do not go back.

Well done, you've done exactly the right thing. Get your own place and make sure nobody else can take it from you. Good luck.

Block him and start divorce proceedings
what an abusive twit

You have absolutely done the right thing. It doesn’t matter how much effort he is making now. This is all just part of the cycle of abuse.

I don't think I'd go back, but if I did then I'd register my marital home rights with the Land Registry.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/notice-of-home-rights-registration-hr1

He’s a nasty man. Don’t go back, this is no way for a husband (or anyone else really) to behave.

The cycle of abuse will continue if you go back. I think you already know that. Run OP, run like the wind!

If you buy your own place (which you absolutely should) you need to ensure he has no claim to it.

Divorce him and live your life.

What a wanker.

This is not love. Don't go back.

You're married so it doesn't matter whose name the house is in. You will be entitled to a share. Just leave he is not a good person

Yanbu. Divorce him. He's an abusive arsehole.

Did you live together before getting married? 3 years is a 'short marriage' but if you lived together before hand that time can be taken into account too.

Your husband is abusive.

Stay gone.

DO NOT GO BACK. Be strong OP and well done for going. He's pushed too far now.

Get a divorce.

He an abusive asshole. You're not compatible.

Your not unreasonable to do that.

Is that what you want for your marriage though? To live in separate houses?

I