To feel quite sad that I skipped my “young years”

I was exactly your age with the same set up. I'm 21 years older now, two adult dds, a flourishing career and I have money and security to enjoy 4+ holidays a year, out every Friday after work and a happy marriage.
I loved being a younger mum, loved bringing up my girls. I think you need to lean into this life, look at all the positives and stop scrolling social media - your own life sounds lovely, they are probably looking on wishing they had yours

Always the opportunity

This is not true.

I have friends in their 50s who are living abroad and others a similar age that are travelling. There is always the opposite later on if it is something that you want to do.

I settled down in my early twenties. The years before that I did a bit of partying but it was just drinking too much, sometimes making a fool of myself or making a bad decision and then spending the next week riddled with anxiety. It wasn't anything that special tbh. I didn't know who I was yet and I was easily led and insecure.

Now I'm in my mid thirties and I have a career that I love, a husband who has loved and supported me through 13 years and multiple babies, house moves and career changes.

I didn't get to do a gap year, but my kids are old enough to be no bother when we travel long haul now, and I'd much rather explore the world with my little family than the people I hung about with in my late teens and early twenties, if I'm honest.

Some will say I did things the wrong way round or too early, but I don't have any regrets.

Appreciate what you have. Look at what you feel you're missing out on and see if you can get more of it in your life? Maybe you need to make more free time for your hobbies or make a plan to see some sights?

Yes, you're indeed young mother and I can imagine it'd be difficult to find friends who can share your motherhood experiences with. Maybe try to find some role models or women of the similar age groups on social media like Youtube. Once you find you're not alone, then it'd be relatively easy to accept it and help you to navigate your future life further. Good luck.

Remember that they grow up and you'll have lots of lovely time whilst you're still young and everyone else is still tied to childcare arrangements. 💐☺️

The grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side OP. If you were still single/childless you’d probably be fretting about that.

Helpful.
Common or not, op os married.
Both my sisters and I were married by 24

You should feel grateful and proud for what you have.

I think saying that statistically younger marriages don’t work out then saying “But, it's a bit late now” is rude. Opinions are fine but that’s just rude. Surely you can’t talk to people in real life like that?

God I feel this, it's so sad to think of my daughter being parent less potentially in her 40s and if she does have children me not seeing them grow up, also my parents not seeing my daughter grow up as they're now in their mid 70s and she is 2 :(

@Alliona
You are married to the love of your life, and he loves you back. He is amazing. You have a child together.

That sounds pretty great! Be happy!

Perhaps try to find friends that are in a similar situation?
You can't be the only married mid-twenties woman in your area? Try to connect with other young married mothers.

I agree with your lovely DH, the thought of backpacking never appealed. God, I hate the idea of camping, even on a site! You are incredibly lucky and you will know how much when you reach your 30s, with older DC and a career ahead of you rather than behind you. Enjoy the youth you have rather than pine for something that would in all likelihood not be at all what you imagine.

There’s this weird idea that you explore the world or go out and live before ‘settling down’ and that there’s specific times for doing that - like your twenties are the travelling and ‘fun’ the thirties and forties the ‘settling down’ etc.

But why should it be like that? You can explore, try new things, make new friends of different ages in loads of ways. You can travel at any age. Sure you can’t go out dating whoever when you are married obviously but this idea that all the adventure and new experiences is just something for a few short years in your early twenties is silly.

You can learn new things, take up new interests, go to new places, anything you like, all through your life. Yea you are limited by the rigours of parenting a small one right now but those years do pass so quickly. My advice is to stop focusing on when you should do this or that and start asking yourself things like - what excites me? What am I interested in? What makes me curious and inspired?

Find those things and you’ll never feel you are missing out.

Don’t feel bad, when they are 40 running about with a 4 year old (like me) you’ll be out enjoying life because you had them young (like my best friend) now I’m jealous of her 😂
having kids is a tie whatever age your at, you’ll be young when they are grown up - now I wish I had done it young!

Just throwing this in as someone who is 43 with a 2 year old, wasted my 20s and 30s out partying and generally just coasting, it wasn't what I wanted but was circumstantial, I didn't meet my partner until I was 36 and so desperately wish we had met sooner so I could have started my life sooner. I regret the money I spent on nights out and holidays and if I'm honest I didn't enjoy it looking back, now I want another baby but really feel it's too late. I dream of owning our own home but because of the money I wasted trying to enjoy myself we're stuck renting. I'm so envious you met your person young, I dreamt of your life but it didn't happen like that for me, the grass isn't always greener. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but wanted you to know how lucky I think you are x

I have fond memories of my 20s too.

I was a mum at 21.

I had my dd at 21, got married not long after, got divorced at 34, my dc are now adults but both have SEN so youngest lives at home and needs 24 hour supervision. I guess if they didn’t have SEN’s I would be living my best life now. My point is, there’s time to do things when your dc grow up as you will still be young. I have friends that didn’t start having children until their late 30’s and the thought of having to go through parenting a baby/toddler now is not something I find appealing 🤣.

Not in my group of friends, no. Our kids are all that age and graduating and it feels like they are at the start of their lives. I hope mine don’t start having babies till 30 ish. There is so much they want to do first! Like I did. Fond memories of my twenties!

If you are getting this perception all your peers are having a great time from social media, then trust me, most of what people put on there is for show and not representative of their reality.

The grass can always look greener on the other side, but it sounds like you are winning at life.

Finding a good guy is hard. Dating sucks.

I think this is the crux of it, we like to think of all this stuff as a choice but ultimately it's hugely down to luck as to when you meet the right person.

There's huge peer pressure these days to live your friends' lives but your life is better for LT happiness in my experience.

I had DC in my 20s, now in my 40s I'm much better off than the ones who waited.

I could write a whole book on this but just don't waste emotional energy on envy.

You can do some more fun stuff later when your DCs are older.

I'm 50 this year and I was married at 22. I've got 4 kids and I've retired and I'm about to start enjoying my kid free life. I'm glad I did it this way round as I couldn't face being an active parent in my 60s.

If I could go back in time and choose I would have chosen to meet someone when young and grow together and have a family young, and no baggage! I love my children very much but I had them older, am acutely aware that they will be most likely parentless in their 40s and I will never live long enough to see any grandchildren grow up.