Is anyone in a relationship with no sex but otherwise it’s all good?

I couldn't live like this, feeling so undesired. You're still young.
When, in the past you've given him a blow job and he's not reciprocated, have you ever straight up asked him "Don't you care about my pleasure at all? Do you honestly think this is a fulfilling relationship for me?" What does he say?

My best friend has not had a physical relationship with her husband for 22 years. They get on quite well, neither have affairs. She is not interested in sex (was abused as a child by a neighbour) and once she and her husband had two children just stopped. He has put a huge amount of weight (weighs about 26 st and is about 5ft 8) has hip and ankle problems and is probably not physically capable of it any more. She says it never arises (so to speak)

I am.
(I am name changing to leave this comment)

We have been together 10 years but only intimate the first 5 years and it was sporadic even then.

4 years ago we decided to have an open relationship with very strict rules. It has had its challenges but has also been incredibly freeing and taken a lot of the pressure off. I no longer feel resentful. I will say I have struggled with it a lot less than him... Which from chatting to others seems to be common.

I wouldn't spend the rest of my life never having sex again, so this was the only solution if we wanted to stay together (and we do).

I get to enjoy the things I like and so does he. Because our core problem was being completely sexually incompatible to the point that there was no desire.

A lot more people practise ethical non monogamy than you may realise. With boundaries, honesty and very clear rules it can be successful.

I'm in a very similar situation OP, even down to age of children and the response I get when I ask about it. I get "oh that would be nice - we should have sex soon", and then it never happens. The other night I was in a towel after a shower, kids asleep in bed, and I went over and we had a cuddle/nice moment. He then said again, "We should have sex soon", and all I could think was, "What's wrong with now? Your wife is almost naked!" Like you, I don't ask any more as I am humiliated by the fact it's always me initiating.

For a while when our children were babies I was ok with it, but now our youngest is 3 I feel like myself again, and my sex drive is back to normal. I feel very frustrated and worried about the future. I didn't sign up for a sexless marriage. It's not that I want to be at it like rabbits, but even a couple of times a month would be amazing.

it is entirely up to you and it sounds like a good coparenting relationship but not a relationship as a couple. The desire and intimacy is a core element of that for me, and I would not want to live without that. But many people do. And I wouldn’t judge them.

The old chestnut “would you want your child to have a relationship like this”? Might help- as it will be the blueprint of relationship norm for them.

A large group of very vocal people on Mumsnet abhor the idea of sex after a few years have passed. I happen to not be one of them, I love sex still as a woman in my 40s. However the in crew here see mature adult relationships (especially those with children) as "you should be well past all that".

You have people talking about "I can't stand all that huffing and puffing, I'd rather have a cup of tea".

But they're not willing to give up on the companionship or the joint mortgage, the holidays..

So I think it's one of those where, if you'd asked on the Relationships board, you might get some sense.

But here on AIBU, you will get told you're being U, just for daring to want sex.

I would revisit the counselling idea with him and see where he's actually coming from with this. GP first if he suggests it, if not being it up during counselling. As in, his responses so far have kicked the issue down the road and I think you deserve at least want a true understanding of what he wants from a marriage physically, does he just have a very low sex drive, is it compatibility in his eyes, something big like sexuality or trauma, what are his views in terms of your wishes because you didn't sign up to a sexless marriage and he hasn't been clear that's what he wants, he just bats the conversation away and that's what is unfair. Perhaps there is a lot worth staying for but I think some clarity and communication would help so you know what you're dealing with on the sex front.

It all boils down to what works for you. A close friend can count on one hand the amount of times she has slept with her husband and they have been married since 2006. It wouldn’t work for me, not at all.

Has he ever sought help from his GP? If this was a woman with a low/ non existent libido they would be expected to at least go for a consultation. He may be asexual or he may have extremely low testosterone levels (which are risk factors for other health conditions).

There needs to be open communication between you. It’s more of a friendship than a relationship from the sound of it.

It's a tough one. To start with it's slim pickings out there but on the other hand, I wouldn't be able to tolerate this.