Soo...my partner and I were talking about exes the other day. He was interested to know if I still spoke to mine on messanger. I don't. He mentioned there was a woman he still had a messanger chat with...this is a woman he actually had a fling with whilst she was married about 6 years ago. Not cool in itself , but well before I knew him. I was a little perplexed he still chatted to her but he assured me they were friends first then had brief fling and they have just remained friends ever since. Half a dozen chats per year just keeping up with each others lives etc. Soo I read the last couple of messangers. While largely just chit chat there was one where she tells him how bad she felt for her infidelity all those years ago but that she had had such a big crush on him ( my partner) and no regrets. In another my partner tells her was driving past a particular location and a time they had together in the past came to mind.. I was livid. He says I'm out of line and overreacting. That I shouldn't try to control who he's friends with. I actually have no problem with him having female friends. I'm generally pretty secure in relationships. I do however have a problem with the tone and context of their chat though and it's made me lose trust. AIBU?