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AIBU?

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Do you size people up when you meet them?

83 replies

UmberHedgehog · 23/01/2025 09:54

Be honest - when you meet someone new, do you find yourself quickly forming opinions about them based on their appearance, behaviour , or the first few things they say? I’ve been thinking about how much we subconsciously ‘size people up’ even if we try not to.

Is it just human nature to assess people like this or is it something we should try to stop doing? I’m curious if others do this and, if so, how aware of it you are. Do you think these snap judgments are accurate, or do they often turn out to be wrong?

OP posts:
MoMhathair · 23/01/2025 10:29

This is a weird question IMO - the only way to avoid 'sizing people up' is to completely ignore them. No matter what, as soon as you start talking to people you start forming an opinion of them.

My first impression is usually right and the times when I've ignored my instinct I've regretted it.

brunettemic · 23/01/2025 10:17

Anyone who says no is lying. Of course I do and I’ve been right many times, I’ve also been wrong many times.

Nigellasrockyroad · 23/01/2025 10:12

Yes. I have to get a measure of people fairly quickly, to do my job well.

AlloaintheMiddle · 23/01/2025 10:10

Forgot to say, that yes sometimes I was wrong!
It happened that if I managed to stick around for 16 minutes and they realised I was not entertaining the bollocks fight then they stopped the showing off and turn into quite good company. 😝

pinkwaffles · 23/01/2025 10:09

It's normal to form an impression of someone when we first meet them based on our life experience, whatever stereotypes we carry or knowledge of people we have previously met.

I think the term "sizing up" is a little unpleasant and negative though.

Itrytobesensible · 23/01/2025 10:08

It's inevitable to form first impressions.

Sometimes though the first impressions can be totally wrong. I think it's important to be aware of this.

So I think the way to go is to proceed with caution until you are in a position to know the person more fully and can find out if your initial reaction to them was correct.

Its possible to be either pleasantly surprised by who a person is or extremely disappointed when first impressions turn out to be wrong.

Louisetheroux · 23/01/2025 10:08

God yes. Before they've even spoken. I believe I can accurately tell the way somebody votes based on their appearance.

AlloaintheMiddle · 23/01/2025 10:06

Everyone does, consciously or not.

For me, it’s not so much about appearance but what they say.
If within their first 15 minutes monologue I made to know what they do, what they own, who they know, where they go on holiday, how they kids do at school etc, then I’m instantly put off.