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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

OpheliaWasntMad · 24/01/2025 18:48

Spirallingdownwards · 24/01/2025 18:40

Surely the important stuff is carrying out his mayoral duties and not becoming entrenched in what people (not meaning the OP) are clearly trying to make into a race issue. We all know there is a contigent who don't like that London has a Muslim Mayor who is non-white.

I’m totally ok with a Muslim Mayor. Just come home from work after a long conversation on this issue with my work colleague /good friend who is Muslim.
It’s hard to have an honest discussion about this issue which is why I wanted to remove my thread. Hopefully the fact that mumsnet keeps it out of “active “ means it won’t be hijacked .
I don’t want sensitivities about race to trump child safety.

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 24/01/2025 18:40

Surely the important stuff is carrying out his mayoral duties and not becoming entrenched in what people (not meaning the OP) are clearly trying to make into a race issue. We all know there is a contigent who don't like that London has a Muslim Mayor who is non-white.

OpheliaWasntMad · 24/01/2025 18:12

LessonsinChemistryandLove · 24/01/2025 09:42

Well unless Susan Hall is completely thick, we can assume she was asking about Asian grooming gangs in London. If that assumption is incorrect and she was genuinely whether there are any type of grooming gangs in London, then she is a dingbat and if she doesn’t know that, she probably shouldn’t be listened to at all.

Tbf though, I wish Sadiq had just answered the question and shown everyone how stupid this woman clearly is!

He should have answered the question to show some respect to the fact that this is an important issue- not “to show how stupid this woman clearly is”
He’s the Mayor of London- what about decency and ethics in public service?
Can’t he ignore his irritation with her trying to make political mileage out of this?
Can’t he just focus on the important stuff ?

OP posts:
OpheliaWasntMad · 24/01/2025 17:48

I asked mumsnet to remove this thread because I was concerned it could become inflammatory which was not my intention. They didn’t do that but they said they would take it out of active threads to stop it becoming a shit show ( my words )
I hope anyone who posts on here will keep things civil.

OP posts:
OpheliaWasntMad · 24/01/2025 17:45

Spirallingdownwards · 24/01/2025 16:53

Did she contact Boris Johnson and ask him as former mayor whether he knew of grooming gangs in London and what steps he took?

What does she hope to gain from an answer? What do you hope to gain from an answer? I am not being goady - I am genuinely interested in what purpose the question and any answer given would serve.

Noone in their right mind supports or thinks it is an acceptable practice to groom and rape children or adults so I am genuinely trying to understand why the question needed to be asked and answered.

”I am genuinely trying to understand why the question needed to be asked and answered.”
An earlier poster asked me whether I wanted another set of riots and racial tension and it gave me pause for thought because I definitely don’t want those things.
I think he made a mistake in not answering because it feeds into a narrative that politicians are more interested in political ideology and keeping votes than in keeping children safe .

OP posts:
OpheliaWasntMad · 24/01/2025 17:41

OneLemonDog · 24/01/2025 16:50

She clearly specifically meant "rape gangs" comprised predominantly comprised of Pakistani men, or "Muslim rape gangs" (as some call them) but wanted to imply it, not say it.

Honestly it struck me as a bit cowardly. She came across as not particularly interested in the harms that girls in London may be exposed to, and just wanted to know if the perpetrators were (to use her indirect phrasing) of the "the same sorts" as in Rotherham, etc. but was only prepared to imply it, not say it.

Which makes me think this was more playing-politics than sincere concerns.

You might be right in your view about her. I know people are using this scandal for their own political ends. But he should have answered her question regardless. ( maybe his answer could have included a pointed reference to the failure of the Tories in this area - that would be fine )

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 24/01/2025 16:53

OpheliaWasntMad · 24/01/2025 15:12

I think refusing to answer the question appears arrogant, dismissive and negligent of his responsibility ( given he is Mayor of London and there is rightly a spotlight on grooming gangs atm)

(And in answer to your question - No I’m not Susan Hall . You don’t have to be a right wing Tory to feel that he should have answered this question)

Edited

Did she contact Boris Johnson and ask him as former mayor whether he knew of grooming gangs in London and what steps he took?

What does she hope to gain from an answer? What do you hope to gain from an answer? I am not being goady - I am genuinely interested in what purpose the question and any answer given would serve.

Noone in their right mind supports or thinks it is an acceptable practice to groom and rape children or adults so I am genuinely trying to understand why the question needed to be asked and answered.

Boomer55 · 24/01/2025 16:52

Khan is hopeless in every way. No point in even asking him anything. 🤷‍♀️😡

OneLemonDog · 24/01/2025 16:50

She clearly specifically meant "rape gangs" comprised predominantly comprised of Pakistani men, or "Muslim rape gangs" (as some call them) but wanted to imply it, not say it.

Honestly it struck me as a bit cowardly. She came across as not particularly interested in the harms that girls in London may be exposed to, and just wanted to know if the perpetrators were (to use her indirect phrasing) of the "the same sorts" as in Rotherham, etc. but was only prepared to imply it, not say it.

Which makes me think this was more playing-politics than sincere concerns.

OpheliaWasntMad · 24/01/2025 15:12

Spirallingdownwards · 24/01/2025 14:13

Yes I do give a stuff.

But I also don't think that Sadiq Khan doesn't give a stuff. I think he shouldn't be forced into answering someone badgering him "for the show of (insert empathy, publicity or other words). It doesn't help deal with them and indeed what right minded person has any sympathy or understanding for these gangs. It serves literally no purpose.

I think refusing to answer the question appears arrogant, dismissive and negligent of his responsibility ( given he is Mayor of London and there is rightly a spotlight on grooming gangs atm)

(And in answer to your question - No I’m not Susan Hall . You don’t have to be a right wing Tory to feel that he should have answered this question)

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 24/01/2025 14:13

Babadookinthewardrobe · 24/01/2025 08:44

Do you give a stuff about child rape victims in any way, or do you just want to bang on about how you don’t like Susan Hall?

It doesn’t matter who asked the question, the Mayor has a responsibility to
answer.

Yes I do give a stuff.

But I also don't think that Sadiq Khan doesn't give a stuff. I think he shouldn't be forced into answering someone badgering him "for the show of (insert empathy, publicity or other words). It doesn't help deal with them and indeed what right minded person has any sympathy or understanding for these gangs. It serves literally no purpose.

Barbadosgirl · 24/01/2025 11:42

The social workers were also not the only professionals involved and subject to criticism and neither were they all black (which in itself is not evidence racism was not in play of course). You don’t see to have dealt with that part. I also do not agree that Black British social workers might not be concerned about calling out practices that they seemed to assume were normal amongst African people in case this was seen as prejudiced or racist. Neither did Laming. He specifically criticised the suggestion made by those professionals that standing to attention to salute one’s guardian and wetting oneself in fear was part of the African Caribbean script.

Not sure how this is not part of the exact same lazy thinking which was in play at Rotheram or has people wringing their hands over racist dog whistles which seem to justify an elected official pretending he doesn’t know what grooming gangs are or sneering at people trying to raise this issue.

Barbadosgirl · 24/01/2025 11:41

username299 · 24/01/2025 09:36

You said:

professionals being so worried about being racist that they dismissed or ignored the fairly obvious signs that Victoria Climbie was being abused.

The social workers who assumed her behaviour was due to culture were not concerned about being seen as racist. You're not the only person who's read the report.

The social workers were also not the only professionals involved and subject to criticism and neither were they all black (which in itself is not evidence racism was not in play of course). You don’t see to have dealt with that part. I also do not agree that Black British social workers might not be concerned about calling out practices that they seemed to assume were normal amongst African people in case this was seen as prejudiced or racist. Neither did Laming. He specifically criticised the suggestion made by those professionals that standing to attention to salute one’s guardian and wetting oneself in fear was part of the African Caribbean script.

Not sure how this is not part of the exact same lazy thinking which was in play at Rotheram or has people wringing their hands over racist dog whistles which seem to justify an elected official pretending he doesn’t know what grooming gangs are or sneering at people trying to raise this issue.

username299 · 24/01/2025 11:17

Barbadosgirl · 24/01/2025 11:10

The social workers were also not the only professionals involved and subject to criticism and neither were they all black (which in itself is not evidence racism was not in play of course). You don’t see to have dealt with that part. I also do not agree that Black British social workers might not be concerned about calling out practices that they seemed to assume were normal amongst African people in case this was seen as prejudiced or racist. Neither did Laming. He specifically criticised the suggestion made by those professionals that standing to attention to salute one’s guardian and wetting oneself in fear was part of the African Caribbean script.

Not sure how this is not part of the exact same lazy thinking which was in play at Rotheram or has people wringing their hands over racist dog whistles which seem to justify an elected official pretending he doesn’t know what grooming gangs are or sneering at people trying to raise this issue.

I have no idea what you're talking about. The report said that racism played a part in Victoria's death. He was specifically talking about the fact that so many agencies were aware of her case but didn't act.

He also talked about her being from a different culture and how that was interpreted. He did not say that people didn't act because they feared being called racist.

Barbadosgirl · 24/01/2025 11:10

username299 · 24/01/2025 09:36

You said:

professionals being so worried about being racist that they dismissed or ignored the fairly obvious signs that Victoria Climbie was being abused.

The social workers who assumed her behaviour was due to culture were not concerned about being seen as racist. You're not the only person who's read the report.

The social workers were also not the only professionals involved and subject to criticism and neither were they all black (which in itself is not evidence racism was not in play of course). You don’t see to have dealt with that part. I also do not agree that Black British social workers might not be concerned about calling out practices that they seemed to assume were normal amongst African people in case this was seen as prejudiced or racist. Neither did Laming. He specifically criticised the suggestion made by those professionals that standing to attention to salute one’s guardian and wetting oneself in fear was part of the African Caribbean script.

Not sure how this is not part of the exact same lazy thinking which was in play at Rotheram or has people wringing their hands over racist dog whistles which seem to justify an elected official pretending he doesn’t know what grooming gangs are or sneering at people trying to raise this issue.

Barbadosgirl · 24/01/2025 11:10

username299 · 24/01/2025 09:36

You said:

professionals being so worried about being racist that they dismissed or ignored the fairly obvious signs that Victoria Climbie was being abused.

The social workers who assumed her behaviour was due to culture were not concerned about being seen as racist. You're not the only person who's read the report.

The social workers were also not the only professionals involved and subject to criticism and neither were they all black (which in itself is not evidence racism was not in play of course). You don’t see to have dealt with that part. I also do not agree that Black British social workers might not be concerned about calling out practices that they seemed to assume were normal amongst African people in case this was seen as prejudiced or racist. Neither did Laming. He specifically criticised the suggestion made by those professionals that standing to attention to salute one’s guardian and wetting oneself in fear was part of the African Caribbean script.

Not sure how this is not part of the exact same lazy thinking which was in play at Rotheram or has people wringing their hands over racist dog whistles which seem to justify an elected official pretending he doesn’t know what grooming gangs are or sneering at people trying to raise this issue.

EasternStandard · 24/01/2025 09:46

we can assume she was asking about Asian grooming gangs in London

Well you might as you have a clear political loyalty.

But that's just more of the same twisting, obfuscating and dodging that has led to where we are now.

LessonsinChemistryandLove · 24/01/2025 09:42

EasternStandard · 24/01/2025 09:17

Did you listen to the question. The word Asian was not used

Well unless Susan Hall is completely thick, we can assume she was asking about Asian grooming gangs in London. If that assumption is incorrect and she was genuinely whether there are any type of grooming gangs in London, then she is a dingbat and if she doesn’t know that, she probably shouldn’t be listened to at all.

Tbf though, I wish Sadiq had just answered the question and shown everyone how stupid this woman clearly is!

username299 · 24/01/2025 09:36

Barbadosgirl · 24/01/2025 09:22

Err, exactly. That is the point! They ignored that behaviour which in the context of her presentation was a clear sign of abuse BECAUSE her guardians were African. In other words, as Laming concludes in the report (which I have read in full, not just Press reporting/summaries) because they saw things through the lens of race, they ignored or minimised the signs of abuse. In addition there were a multitude of other professionals involved- including doctors and nurses- not all of whom were black- who also did not report signs of abuse. Lord Laming’s conclusions are clear that blindness due to race and culture contributed to her death.

You said:

professionals being so worried about being racist that they dismissed or ignored the fairly obvious signs that Victoria Climbie was being abused.

The social workers who assumed her behaviour was due to culture were not concerned about being seen as racist. You're not the only person who's read the report.

Barbadosgirl · 24/01/2025 09:22

username299 · 24/01/2025 08:30

@Barbadosgirl That's not correct regarding Climbie. Her social workers were predominantly black and one said that she thought Victoria was so obedient, fearful and quiet because of African culture.

Err, exactly. That is the point! They ignored that behaviour which in the context of her presentation was a clear sign of abuse BECAUSE her guardians were African. In other words, as Laming concludes in the report (which I have read in full, not just Press reporting/summaries) because they saw things through the lens of race, they ignored or minimised the signs of abuse. In addition there were a multitude of other professionals involved- including doctors and nurses- not all of whom were black- who also did not report signs of abuse. Lord Laming’s conclusions are clear that blindness due to race and culture contributed to her death.

EasternStandard · 24/01/2025 09:17

LessonsinChemistryandLove · 24/01/2025 09:08

I completely agree.
The problem with looking at this issue from the lens of of “Asian grooming gangs” only is that it takes away from the actual issue which is child criminal and sexual abuse, and focus’s on the ethnicity of perpetrators. It’s a goal for those with ulterior motives and does nothing to help the victims.

The fact is, Asian grooming gangs are a tiny majority of the perpetrators of such crimes. The issues in this particular area of course need to be addressed however the actual issue is that it is too easy in this country to abuse the young girls no one cares about. Children are being abused every day by all types of people and not enough is done to address that. Only a few end up going to jail and generally, these young children are treated awfully by those who should protect them. If people shouting about these grooming gangs really cared, they would address the issue of child sexual abuse. They would do more to protect children and hold perpetrators accountable. All perpetrators, not just the Asian ones.

Addressing these types of grooming gangs is almost a sub section of the wider issue. If children were being better protected in the first place NO ONE would have this opportunity to abuse so freely in the first place.

Did you listen to the question. The word Asian was not used

LessonsinChemistryandLove · 24/01/2025 09:08

CurlewKate · 24/01/2025 08:56

@Babadookinthewardrobe "Susan Hall, Susan Hall, Susan Hall. Is that all you care about?"

No. I care about this whole awful situation being dealt with openly and properly and not being hijacked by the Right to push a racist narrative. You?

I completely agree.
The problem with looking at this issue from the lens of of “Asian grooming gangs” only is that it takes away from the actual issue which is child criminal and sexual abuse, and focus’s on the ethnicity of perpetrators. It’s a goal for those with ulterior motives and does nothing to help the victims.

The fact is, Asian grooming gangs are a tiny majority of the perpetrators of such crimes. The issues in this particular area of course need to be addressed however the actual issue is that it is too easy in this country to abuse the young girls no one cares about. Children are being abused every day by all types of people and not enough is done to address that. Only a few end up going to jail and generally, these young children are treated awfully by those who should protect them. If people shouting about these grooming gangs really cared, they would address the issue of child sexual abuse. They would do more to protect children and hold perpetrators accountable. All perpetrators, not just the Asian ones.

Addressing these types of grooming gangs is almost a sub section of the wider issue. If children were being better protected in the first place NO ONE would have this opportunity to abuse so freely in the first place.

EasternStandard · 24/01/2025 08:59

CurlewKate · 24/01/2025 08:56

@Babadookinthewardrobe "Susan Hall, Susan Hall, Susan Hall. Is that all you care about?"

No. I care about this whole awful situation being dealt with openly and properly and not being hijacked by the Right to push a racist narrative. You?

Of course. Anything bar actually answer a question eg Khan

The responses on this thread to the op show why we are where we are

CurlewKate · 24/01/2025 08:56

@Babadookinthewardrobe "Susan Hall, Susan Hall, Susan Hall. Is that all you care about?"

No. I care about this whole awful situation being dealt with openly and properly and not being hijacked by the Right to push a racist narrative. You?

Babadookinthewardrobe · 24/01/2025 08:46

CurlewKate · 24/01/2025 07:41

I think before people accuse Khan of obfuscation or goadiness, they should look at Susan Hall's previous record. It is unlikely that her question was being asked in good faith.

Susan Hall, Susan Hall, Susan Hall. Is that all you care about?