To be furious with weight comments made to my 10yr old

I think developing an eating disorder is far more complex than a one off comment. Mine comes from my Mum’s attitude to food and her weight - watch your reaction!

You don't understand it, really?

Would you understand it if they said she had a big nose, or smelly breath and she didn't?

Surely you'd understand that they're just talking bollocks because they want to throw an insult at her?

That's what they're doing here but if you go OTT about it, you'll make her think there may be some truth in it.

It's awful and I think we all worry about our daughters developing eating disorders. However, you're overreacting. Kids are mean. I had all sorts of mean things said to me when I was growing up (by other girls). I was chubby, plump, my breasts were too small, my teeth were too big, my eyes were droopy and dead, I was boring, I was lifeless, I was a slug. You get the picture!!!
However, the last thing I would have wanted was for my mum to message their mums! No way! It would have made everything ten times worse.
Just reassure her that she's healthy and fine.

Girls at that age will find anything they can to pick at if they want to be mean. Flat chest, or boobs, freckles, hair colour.

I had similar with my DD. I taught her some useful put downs [but that she shouldn't respond in kind about others appearances] and told her that often when people are miserable and feeling bad about their own appearance, they have a go at others to try to make themselves feel better. In the words of Michelle Obama - go high when others go low.

Your opinion is noted. When I want it I'll ask for it.
Eyebrow raise - bad day?
I'd rather be skinny than rude.
It's great - I can fit through tight spaces
I'm going for the human noodle look
Let me look in my bothered bag..... no, it's empty ! [there are ruder versions for older children]
Are you body shaming me? [in a loud voice]

You've spoken to the school so just keep an eye on how they deal with it.

I had that sort of thing all my life but I was pretty resilient about it (and still am).

Try not to let your DD know how furious you are though, otherwise you might make her think there's some truth in it.

My mum would roll her eyes and I think that's why I learned to.

But the most important thing was, if it ever got to me I know my mum would've been on my side and straight down the school.

I understand that you have knowledge in this area and feel passionately about it.

This is not the last time she will encounter other people commenting on her body or looks. Everyone gets it from someone, be it a schoolmate or our tactless granny. Sometimes it comes from complete strangers.

Even if your approach had the desired effect (it won't but let's imagine) how are you going to stop the next person from piping up? You can't.

All you can do is educate and equip your daughter to fend off the comments of others.

Perhaps the girls were genuinely concerned for your DD’s wellbeing as they are ignorant of what a healthy weight looks like. If they are overweight, perhaps their families are as well and they think that’s normal and healthy. YABU, you are overreacting to a single comment from 10 year old girls.

You are going to look like an idiot if you go turning one random comment into a big school incident, let alone texting people's mothers.

You are massively overreacting, and I wonder whether it is because you have some sensitivity about weight? Or because you are angry with your daughter's friends about the previous break in their social group?

Was your daughter upset by the comment?

As a parent I would talk to my daughter about what a healthy weight and diet looks like. TBF that sounds like a comment made out of jealousy and I would also discuss that with my daughter.

I think you might be spiralling slightly down the eating disorder rabbit hole. Don’t make a big deal of it at this stage.

Most likely jealous if they are overweight

It’s an unkind thing to say but honestly you will do yourself no favours if you contact the girl’s mum directly. Let school deal with it and just continue to model healthy eating behaviour with your daughter which I am sure you already do.