Wedding invitation totally out of the blue

Yikes. It probably wouldn’t even be unreasonable for your neighbour not to go 😂
cant you rescue him?

Could she just have really bad eyesight or be autistic?

Some people are just looking to make up the numbers, they feel embarrassed perhaps they don't have many friends. I had a wedding invite out of the blue recently (via text message) from a old friend whom I haven't spoken to for well over 10 years. Didn't even know she was getting married. It was bizarre, I know nothing about her life these days nor she mine.

I was thinking the same! My DH always takes the bins in! What must the neighbours think😂

OP she might just be a bit socially awkward. Have you tried making a bit of small talk?

Rude or painfully shy?

Read your update and now I'm worried our neighbours think I won't lower myself to do the bins and am a bit of a snob.
My OH and I split the house jobs - he does the bins, I clean the loo, etc but the neighbours don't know that. They just see OH doing the bins. I also have a natural resting bitch face 😖. But not all grumpy-faced women who don't do the bins are a complete pain in the arse, honest!

I’d probably think that he was trying to fill out his side of the venue a bit, feel sorry for him and go.
We’ve had the same group of neighbours for around 20 years in a 8 house cul de sac. We say hello but are not overly friendly. One neighbour who I do occasionally meet on a dog walk and have a good chat invited all the houses to her engagement party. It was very strange! That was a few years ago and they’re not married yet. Waiting to see if we do get an invite to that.

definitely go, i'd be so nonplussed i'd need to hear about her personality from the speeches

Another who would probably go, if it were local and I were free, because

a) I generally enjoy weddings
b) I am fascinated by people generally

But, if like so many on MN, you don't like weddings, then don't go.
If (again, like so many on MN) you don't find it easy to be friendly and sociable with people you don't know well, then don't go.

It is an invitation. No problem with sending a 'Thanks for the Invitation, but sorry, we're not available' reply.

Ffs, don't go to the wedding just because or to report back. She doesn't want to talk to you, why would she want you at her wedding? Why would any of you go for a free bar or meal or out of interest to an event that is insignificant to you but will.eman something to her? Just respond no, and carry on with your life.

I'd go! I love random weddings. Been to a couple where I've only sort of know the bride or groom and they've been fascinating

If other neighbours I was friendly with were going I would probably go but if not I would politely decline the invitation.

I've lived in the same small development for over 20 years. I know all the neighbours (20 houses) - some much better than others. Two of the female neighbours have been/are a bit like this with much more friendly husbands. I think in both cases it is/was fairly extreme social awkwardness. One is now (late fifties) friendly and engaging (only in the last few of years) and the other is lovely on the phone (ring to ask about pruning etc) but will blank you when out and about. Interestingly both stopped driving at a young age and barely drove before that - not sure if that has any relevance - but maybe a lack of confidence generally.

Otherwise I would continue to be friendly and say hello to the man but dial it down a bit with her - friendly smile if face to face but no hello/approaching.

Actually yes, if she never speaks to you how is she a "bit of a snob and a pain in the arse"? I have to speak to achieve both those things.

Having put it here for us to ponder on you are morally obliged to attend, and to be prepared to start a second thread when this one fills up. It’s the rules.

Do you actually know SHE is the bride?
I had an old (from 10+ years ago) work acquaintance who invited everyone on their Facebook and anyone to their wedding.
I didn't go, but they'd told a friend of mine that they invited people to get extra presents! They didn't supply food or drinks, so didn't coat them anything. Just strange!

Where have you got that she's a snob from, OP? If someone behaved the way she has, I'd assume all not quite well on their side, without assuming what, rather than thinking they were judging me in the first instance.

I'd go purely out of badness because of the way she blanked you. Just to see if she does acknowledge you.

Maybe she's just socially awkward. You don't even know her so I don't know how you've concluded that she is a snob and a complete pain in the arse.

It’s good that you don’t have a problem with the guy next door having a woman stay over

I'd go. I'd be too curious not to.

Perhaps they don't have many people to invite. I'd go to help boost numbers. It might also be a way of improving your relationship with both of them. You don't need to become best buddies but it might open up the opportunity to say hello, how are you? going forward.

A free bar and food would also be a bonus. Hopefully it's local so you could always just stay a little while if it's a bit cringy.

Why on earth would you go, aside from the woman’s behaviour you don’t seem to know the man either aside from saying ‘hello’

It's certainly bizarre for them to be inviting people they hardly know to their wedding. However, that's their choice. I think in this circumstance I would send pop a little notlet card through their door saying welcome to the neighbourhood and thank you for the kind invitation. It would feel a bit awkward to come to your special day before we have got to know you so perhaps you'd like to both come around for tea and a chat on Saturday at say 3pm if that works for you?

Sounds like some of our neighbours. We moved in around the same time, decades ago. He's lovely and chats to everyone, she doesn't. Even if they're together and he says hi she never does!