All my sisters are single mums

There is a reason children with divorced parents are more likely to divorce themselves and it's because they don't have good partner choice, effective communication and conflict resolution modelled by their parents.

Is this true @LadyGreyson

This has made me sad - it's everything wrong with society these days

Being a single mum is not something to be ashamed of, op. You haven't failed.

Marriages end. People separate. Men leave women and kids, it has happened since the dawn of time and happens in every single society and class background

Yet single 'babymums' are held up as the symbol of broken britain. Sick of it!

The fact that your mum raised sane children is a success. The fact that you're raising your children is a success. Being left by a man doesn't define you. Do you have careers, goals? Those are what defines you.

Keep your head up, op. As long as a man isn't harming your life and kids, enjoy them and enjoy life x

Edit
Fwiw my mother had me with some guy and then met my sd and married him and had more. He's gay and treats her terribly, (she was a single mum to me and half sibs, he did very little) but she's still 'married' so it's all alright apparently!

Same with my family. All my sisters / step-sisters / female cousins are single mothers (none were married) with trash men for their kids fathers. The only ones who avoided this are unmarried / childless.

I can’t even feel ashamed as it seems so normalised I don’t know why. My niece is also a single mom and her son’s dad has always been trash and is now absent.

Single mums are the HEROES , who stay and do the job of two people with one arm tied! No shame here!

Where does it mention the ex partners doing that? They may well have done, but we’re only getting one side of the story here.

Put the shame where it belongs, on the dads.

You should be proud that the kids aren’t forced to live in toxic/abusive/crappy home lives because of some misguided notion that it’s best for the kids for parents to stay together no matter what happens. Too many kids are in “families” that would be happier if the adults weren’t together because while the adults love the kids, they do not love each other so are setting a terrible relationship role model to the kids who are more likely to stay in dysfunctional situations as they end up seeing it as the norm.

New relationships are a gamble and I understand that the stakes are even higher when you have kids but all you can do is learn from past mistakes and keep your eyes open- even when what you see is something that you don’t want to admit to yourself.

So was it like a slowly boiling frog. Your ex partners did low level stuff and you knew it was not great but chose to ignore hoping they would change? That’s what happens often or in cases of actual abuse men change radically when women become pregnant or they marry.

Shame about being a single parent in western culture is outdated now. It’s because it’s very much the rights of the individual over the family. I mean culturally it’s still deemed very bad to divorce in my culture, it’s less about the individual and more about the unit, plus you lose face. I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.

my Mum has been divorced twice, I’m proud that she didn’t stay in a shitty relationship and made the choice to give us a happy home. My sister is also divorced and the example my mum set us gave her the confidence to leave and build a better life for herself and her children.

focus on your new happy life. Anyone can get into a bad relationship but not everyone is able to get out, be glad you did x

You could view if the other way around - be proud that all three of you, and your mum, are able to spot when a relationship is not working and find an independent way forward.