Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think phone drivers should receive an immediate 3 month ban

112 replies

JacquesHarlow · 22/01/2025 10:52

That's it. That's the thread.

In seriousness, I am sick to the back teeth of seeing people where I live (Surrey, before everyone says "oh I don't see any phone drivers where I live, OP) using their mobile phone while driving.

It's endemic here, but I suspect it's the same anywhere in the UK.

I'll start from worst to most serious:

  • WhatsApp gap People in traffic slowing down to a crawl. They take their phone out and glance at it on their lap and start texting. Then the car takes off in front of them seconds before the light changes. Do they move forward? Do they heck. Now this isn't necessarily as dangerous as the next few examples, but it's bloody irritating when you're behind them, you can't move, and then the lights change. They're essentially saying "My time is more important than yours".
  • Slow urban texting People using phones during slow urban driving. I see it every day - they're on a 30 mph road, its a two lane carriageway in town. They glance down to type, then up to maintain their progress before the next set of lights. It's disgusting, but they get away with it because it's a big enough road and no one is crossing at that point.
  • Pulling out without looking People on our school run who literally are holding their phone to their ear or texting, AS THEY PULL OUT of the space. So they're not even looking or paying attention in case a child darts out (and before people say it, yeah I see children dart out all the time. It's wrong, it's not my fault, but their parents are.... guess what, on their phones while walking). These folk then get really angry if I or anyone else points it out, as if I'm deliberately victimising them.
  • Motorway driving This one really gets my goat because of the speed. I have driven in lane 1, gone to change lane safely after indicating, only to find the person in front has suddenly slowed down inexplicably. I slow down myself, I check my speed, move around safely to 3, then indicate back across 2 and into 1. While doing that, I glance over... OF COURSE SHE'S TEXTING. I've even seen someone holding their phone on a video call (Christ wept).

My point is, why do any of these people deserve the luxury of six points?

I think there should be a 3 month ban for these folk.

.I'd like to hear their usual self-centred 'hardship' stories in court "I have to drive around my 3 year old and work, how do I do this now, I can't afford cabs?!"

I cannot stand the self centredness, the myopic " I can multitask" bullshit that exists around driving in this country. We've all got way too comfortable in these massive things, wandering around with our phone addictions, knowing there's not enough police to stop this.

If you're a driver and you do this? Shame on you! Seriously. I can't stand it. If either of my DDs were injured or killed by someone using their phone, I would be apoplectic with the pointlessness of it.

AIBU? I can't wait to hear how much I am "too invested, OP" by the usual apologists for this kind of thing.

OP posts:
GutsyShark · 22/01/2025 17:09

JacquesHarlow · 22/01/2025 10:52

That's it. That's the thread.

In seriousness, I am sick to the back teeth of seeing people where I live (Surrey, before everyone says "oh I don't see any phone drivers where I live, OP) using their mobile phone while driving.

It's endemic here, but I suspect it's the same anywhere in the UK.

I'll start from worst to most serious:

  • WhatsApp gap People in traffic slowing down to a crawl. They take their phone out and glance at it on their lap and start texting. Then the car takes off in front of them seconds before the light changes. Do they move forward? Do they heck. Now this isn't necessarily as dangerous as the next few examples, but it's bloody irritating when you're behind them, you can't move, and then the lights change. They're essentially saying "My time is more important than yours".
  • Slow urban texting People using phones during slow urban driving. I see it every day - they're on a 30 mph road, its a two lane carriageway in town. They glance down to type, then up to maintain their progress before the next set of lights. It's disgusting, but they get away with it because it's a big enough road and no one is crossing at that point.
  • Pulling out without looking People on our school run who literally are holding their phone to their ear or texting, AS THEY PULL OUT of the space. So they're not even looking or paying attention in case a child darts out (and before people say it, yeah I see children dart out all the time. It's wrong, it's not my fault, but their parents are.... guess what, on their phones while walking). These folk then get really angry if I or anyone else points it out, as if I'm deliberately victimising them.
  • Motorway driving This one really gets my goat because of the speed. I have driven in lane 1, gone to change lane safely after indicating, only to find the person in front has suddenly slowed down inexplicably. I slow down myself, I check my speed, move around safely to 3, then indicate back across 2 and into 1. While doing that, I glance over... OF COURSE SHE'S TEXTING. I've even seen someone holding their phone on a video call (Christ wept).

My point is, why do any of these people deserve the luxury of six points?

I think there should be a 3 month ban for these folk.

.I'd like to hear their usual self-centred 'hardship' stories in court "I have to drive around my 3 year old and work, how do I do this now, I can't afford cabs?!"

I cannot stand the self centredness, the myopic " I can multitask" bullshit that exists around driving in this country. We've all got way too comfortable in these massive things, wandering around with our phone addictions, knowing there's not enough police to stop this.

If you're a driver and you do this? Shame on you! Seriously. I can't stand it. If either of my DDs were injured or killed by someone using their phone, I would be apoplectic with the pointlessness of it.

AIBU? I can't wait to hear how much I am "too invested, OP" by the usual apologists for this kind of thing.

I’m concerned about anyone driving when they seem to have such anger issues. Chill champ chill.

If you think it’s such a problem write to your local MP about making the penalty harsher.

I do find it very bizarre how the law works though - Uber drivers for example can use their phone when it’s driving because it’s suction cupped to the window.

SerendipityJane · 22/01/2025 16:44

MikeRafone · 22/01/2025 16:40

what is really frustrating is their is technology to prevent phones being used int he drivers seat, the speeding technology is coming in now to cars - but why isn't the former just used but he manufactures

What is frustrating is the technology for handsfree (which is another evil, but that's for another day) has been around since I first made a point of getting a bluetooth phone and headset in 2006 - 19 fucking years ago. So seeing some cunt whizzing past in 2025 with a phone clamped to their ear really does speak volumes.

Even in 2010, my phone had a "driving mode" which disabled it from ringing when paired with the cars bluetooth.

8cafe · 22/01/2025 16:44

What the fuck is this batshittery?
Of course you shouldn't look at your phone if you're driving. But if you're stuck on the M8 for two hours or in a massive traffic queue, why shouldn't a person be able to glance at their phone without a massive ban and fine?

I would love to see certain MN mums arguing about their casual glance at their phone with a police officer, because it was all about the children.

SerendipityJane · 22/01/2025 16:42

I rather see an instant 2 week ban, the car being driven taken away at the drivers cost and given back when the 2 weeks is up

Who said anything about giving it up ? Crush it or sell it.

If people can't use things properly, they don't deserve them. No one has any god given right to own a car or drive it on public land.

MikeRafone · 22/01/2025 16:42

modernshmodern · 22/01/2025 14:35

The speeding is a tricky one because there's a huge difference between accidentally doing 33 in a 30 and 80 in a 40.

But on the whole I agree

new cars won't do this though, you will need to purposely push the accelarator harder to break the speed limit

MikeRafone · 22/01/2025 16:40

what is really frustrating is their is technology to prevent phones being used int he drivers seat, the speeding technology is coming in now to cars - but why isn't the former just used but he manufactures

MikeRafone · 22/01/2025 16:38

I rather see an instant 2 week ban, the car being driven taken away at the drivers cost and given back when the 2 weeks is up

the reason for 2 weeks is

its just enough to use annual leave to get about and hopefully make someone value their licence and realise its a privelege to drive and not a right

subsequent times then 3 months and 6 months

same with speeding

ButterCrackers · 22/01/2025 16:35

DragonFly98 · 22/01/2025 15:54

Oh get a grip of yourself , hand in my licence. I find the noise of an alarm distracting taking my hand of the wheel to press a phone on my windscreen as it’s a sat nav is safer and takes less time that changing gear or turning on full beam for example. An alarm blaring away in a motorway until and exit was found would distract anyone. I just find it distressing also. I have been driving for two decades never had a single point, never made a phone call or sent a text whilst driving , I don’t speed, have any accidents, hog the middle lane. I do maybe twice a year press a button on my windscreen.

Edited
Show quote history

Dangerous drivers such as yourself think that they are above the law. Autism doesn’t give a magic law to interact with your phone on the motorway - yes you wrote it motorway!! Drivers such as yourself are a disgrace. No thought for the safety of others. There are simple solutions but you can’t be bothered and btw it’s a disgrace that you use disability as an excuse. No wonder people with autism get a bad name when people like yourself use this as an excuse for selfish dangerous to others behaviour.

LlynTegid · 22/01/2025 16:34

A longer ban, I would also have the phone company have to terminate the contract and not be allowed to provide one to the person for a period of time, and the phone number not be able to re-used.

Denying someone their phone number would be a great inconvenience to many people.

NeonGreenHighlighter · 22/01/2025 16:32

I agree.

I love how very restrictive inbuilt CarPlay etc systems are. However there seems to be a growth of knock off systems that allow YouTube and Netflix - I saw taxi drivers in Brighton with them at the weekend.

BobbiJo · 22/01/2025 16:32

Life time bans please...

And hefty hefty fines that if you can't afford to pay, your car is sold and prison time at 1 year per £500 makes it he difference.

Same for speeding. Any more than 5mph over limit, life ban and hefty hefty, life destroying fines.

Ponoka7 · 22/01/2025 16:29

This is what the increased use of facial recognition, CCTV and AI is supposed to tackle. The less noticeable offences, but that can cause a fatal accident.

SomebodyElsesName · 22/01/2025 16:24

I agree. But I think the problem with this, as with so many other common offences, is that there are already laws in place that are rarely enforced.

More laws/harsher punishments won't work if nobody bothers to actually enforce them...

soitgoeson · 22/01/2025 16:16

ButterCrackers · 22/01/2025 10:57

Ban for life. There’s no excuse for using a phone in the hand.

Yes this, I really wish they would crack down on it. How is there any excuse for it? What can be so important that can’t just wait for 10 minutes until you reach your destination or find a safe place to stop.

DragonFly98 · 22/01/2025 15:54

ButterCrackers · 22/01/2025 13:41

Autism doesn’t put you above the law- fact. Your autism isn’t an excuse for dangerous driving. From what you have written here you should not be driving at all if you can’t manage to control phone use whilst at the wheel. You need to hand in your driving licence today. What if an alarm went off in your car for a mechanical problem? You couldn’t cope because of your autism. Please do not risk the lives of others and hand your driving licence in now.

Show quote history

Oh get a grip of yourself , hand in my licence. I find the noise of an alarm distracting taking my hand of the wheel to press a phone on my windscreen as it’s a sat nav is safer and takes less time that changing gear or turning on full beam for example. An alarm blaring away in a motorway until and exit was found would distract anyone. I just find it distressing also. I have been driving for two decades never had a single point, never made a phone call or sent a text whilst driving , I don’t speed, have any accidents, hog the middle lane. I do maybe twice a year press a button on my windscreen.

DragonFly98 · 22/01/2025 15:51

taxguru · 22/01/2025 12:35

So make sure the alarms are turned off and phone put into silent mode before driving then.

Show quote history

Right ok clearly missing the point about autism, maybe I should have clarified I also have ADHD. Must be great to live in a perfect world where you never forget you have an alarm. The reason I have alarms is because I forget things ffs.
As for silencing you do realise the vast majority of phones are also used as a sat nav,

mitogoshigg · 22/01/2025 14:58

Immediate ban if the car is moving but if your handbrake is engaged I think it's different. At the moment the law doesn't differentiate between the two

modernshmodern · 22/01/2025 14:35

The speeding is a tricky one because there's a huge difference between accidentally doing 33 in a 30 and 80 in a 40.

But on the whole I agree

Original poster
JacquesHarlow · 22/01/2025 14:12

Actually I've just realised, this thread is pointless.

The people who have decided that a "bit of minor phone use is ok, and what about the people who speed and weave about they're the ones who cause all the accidents"... they won't be convinced otherwise.

OP posts:
Original poster
JacquesHarlow · 22/01/2025 13:51

BoredZelda · 22/01/2025 13:39

why not turn the phone off when driving ?

Because I'm playing music/podcast through it.

A momentary glance at the phone to turn off an alarm isn't any worse than sorting the heating out or turning to shout at your kids to shut up.

Reducing the number of people using a handheld for a phone/video call, or texting is important. But the numbers of accidents caused by this is low compared to the number caused by poor driving generally.

Everyone here who is fixating on phone use, what have you done in the last 5 years to sharpen your driving skills? Because if you've done nothing, you're far more likely to kill someone than the person in front of you in a queue checking their phone.

Oh for god's sake, I knew we'd have this eventually.

Let's go point for point here:

A momentary glance at the phone to turn off an alarm isn't any worse than sorting the heating out or turning to shout at your kids to shut up.

The majority of heating controls (if they are a knob, a jog wheel or a button) are designed to be used without needing to take your eye off the road.

Yes in some cars in the last 5 years, this involves touching a screen or going into a sub menu. However this is LEGAL to do this. I still think it's a distraction too far, but it's legal.

What you are describing, however inconvenient it is to hear an alarm, is still illegal unless you pull over, and turn it off.

Everyone in these examples always "cannot pull over", but my point is, it is this kind of lax thinking which leads to it starting with the alarm, and ending with swiping on a phone call, or silencing a message. Every time you look down while the car is moving to touch your phone, you're taking your eyes off the road. The time it takes to travel in metres while you're doing that... FFS it's clear it's not good.

As for the 'shout at your kids to shut up", that's not mandatory either while driving! I have DCs, I don't turn my head to speak to them. I just speak - and they listen. I will not endanger them, and others, on the principle that somehow as a mother I "have to " turn my head to address them. It just isn't happening.

Reducing the number of people using a handheld for a phone/video call, or texting is important. But the numbers of accidents caused by this is low compared to the number caused by poor driving generally.

You have the stats on this @BoredZelda ? You sure?

In the US the National Safety Council reports approximately 1.6 million crashes are caused annually by drivers using cell phones and texting.

What do you count as "poor driving generally"? For me, number 1 on that list is distraction.

Everyone here who is fixating on phone use, what have you done in the last 5 years to sharpen your driving skills?

This is 'whatabouttery' of the finest order.

People don't need to 'do things to sharpen their driving skills'. They just need to stop doing the things which blunt their reaction times. That means putting down the fucking PHONE.

Because if you've done nothing, you're far more likely to kill someone than the person in front of you in a queue checking their phone.

This is so absurd that it doesn't even warrant a response. Just put your bloody phone down when you drive.

OP posts:
ButterCrackers · 22/01/2025 13:41

DragonFly98 · 22/01/2025 12:28

I couldn’t do that I am autistic it would be far more dangerous to drive with an alarm than press stop alarm. Not everything is black and white.

Show quote history

Autism doesn’t put you above the law- fact. Your autism isn’t an excuse for dangerous driving. From what you have written here you should not be driving at all if you can’t manage to control phone use whilst at the wheel. You need to hand in your driving licence today. What if an alarm went off in your car for a mechanical problem? You couldn’t cope because of your autism. Please do not risk the lives of others and hand your driving licence in now.

BoredZelda · 22/01/2025 13:39

why not turn the phone off when driving ?

Because I'm playing music/podcast through it.

A momentary glance at the phone to turn off an alarm isn't any worse than sorting the heating out or turning to shout at your kids to shut up.

Reducing the number of people using a handheld for a phone/video call, or texting is important. But the numbers of accidents caused by this is low compared to the number caused by poor driving generally.

Everyone here who is fixating on phone use, what have you done in the last 5 years to sharpen your driving skills? Because if you've done nothing, you're far more likely to kill someone than the person in front of you in a queue checking their phone.

RedHelenB · 22/01/2025 13:11

Moier · 22/01/2025 11:30

We were following a lorry that was all over the place.
When we overtook he was watching a film on an iPad while driving.

You say we. Did the non deliver infirm the police?

MooDengsFatRolls · 22/01/2025 12:47

Yes. It's so obvious when people are doing it.

Not noticing lights change or a queue moving.
Face lighting up.
Constant bobbing of the head.

You're WhatsApp chat isn't more important than someone's life

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 22/01/2025 12:43

A ban and a really high fine would be a good deterrent for a lot of people I think. But there are those (normally the ones driving uninsured/already banned etc) that would just be unbothered. Hard to know how to stop it, especially as mentioned it can be an actual addiction, as they don't tend to respond well to rational deterrents.