Breastfeeding and MN. Why so different to IRL?

I imagine the cost of the lactation consultant was a lot less than the cost of a year's worth of formula.

I agree it's inappropriate and rude for people with children to ask if they can bring them to a childfree wedding if it's clearly childfree (up to the bride and groom as you say. We once went to a wedding where someone had brought their child despite being told they shouldn't!? So awful). However, I have had a couple of weddings I've politely declined as they were child free and I was breastfeeding - and I got quite a bit of stick for my choice! One friend asked if I could leave my two week old baby in the parking lot with my husband so I could go to the wedding and just pop out to feed the baby every so often... (It was also about 35 degrees that day and about 2 hours away from my home). She asked me quite a few times and I know she still thinks I made an unreasonable choice by not giving the baby formula and leaving the baby at home so I could attend. Again, nothing wrong with formula, but I'm contributing to the OP's original question of why these breastfeeding queries come up fairly often. I think if someone doesn't know anyone who breastfeeds, it's all quite alien and different in comparison to formula feeding. (And as someone previously said, fed is best and all methods have pros and cons!)

I haven't read the full thread. When it comes to the discussion around why certain demographics are more likely to breastfeed (i.e. that educated, middle class women are statistically more likely to breastfeed). Is it not more a case of who can take a longer maternity leave? I am from a very working class background and my Mum said she would have liked to breastfeed but my family relied on her also bringing in an income and she went back to her supermarket job in the evenings when all of us siblings were six weeks old. She couldn't risk having a baby who wouldn't take a bottle. I grew up to work in a very middle class profession and moved to a much more affluent area where breastfeeding is the norm and new mothers are able to take a more lengthy maternity leave. I was very over zealous about breastfeeding before I actually had my baby! In reality I found it to be a miserable experience. I continued until my baby was six weeks old. I had plenty of support and no physical reason why I couldn't, I just unexpectedly really hated the feel of it. I was a much happier Mum when formula feeding.

@Gogogo12345 I paid for a lactation consultant. She was a midwife that took extra courses and knew lots about beastfeeding. I paid her to do the job that the midwives should be doing in hospital but they don't have the time. The midwives in hospital were completely useless and really not even around. The only think the midwife in hospital asked me is do I want to bottle feed? Lol.

The lactation consultant visited me in hospital, showed me how to do it, checked the baby for any issues and then visited me home a few days later and answered questions I had, showed me different positions to breastfeed, put pillows around my sofa to be comfortable etc. She was then available via message if I had any questions.

I wouldn't be breastfeeding without her.

There are numerous threads with people wanting to ask the bride and groom whether they can bring their baby to a baby/child free wedding. I can’t understand why they don’t read the invitation to check who is invited and then accept or decline. It’s not complicated or a big issue.

I never said it wasn't.

We had a 100% baby and child free wedding. Everyone was aware so wasn’t an issue. We have also been invited to numerous baby and child free weddings. Totally up to the individual bride and groom.

Good point about the childfree weddings. I've attended lots of weddings but never a childfree one.

I'm planning to continue BFing but I won't be honest with family about it. There must be quite a few women who have done the same.

I breastfed my daughter for 2 years but I was in the minority in my social circle.
3 combi fed for 6 months before stopping breastfeeding.
2 fed formula only
1 breastfed until 1 with her first and 6 months with her second
My baby would not take a bottle though & didn't take to solids well either but I also didn't mind breastfeeding. I found it a nice to sit down and chill. I definitely missed out on a few opportunities when my daughter was young and couldn't be without me for too long. But its a short period in the grand scheme of my life and I expected to miss out on some events when I had a child.

Well, in the example you gave to encourage the frothing about child free weddings maybe? Poor baby starving without its mother blah blah blah!!

My local children's center has a weekly breastfeeding support group. And breastfeeding support workers are stationed at the hospital when you give birth. But as a PP said, support varies in different areas. As I said, most of the mums I met did breastfeed so I am surprised by the stats. I live in near a small market town in Yorkshire where jobs are pretty limited. Certainly not a fancy middle class area in the South.

You can also get decent support from your midwife or health visitor (though these can vary hugely, some are much better than others!).

OP to your original point I think you see it a lot on here because children at weddings seems to be a hot topic, however FF babies can be left at home, BF ones can’t - obviously there will be exceptions! If someone invited me to a wedding, or any all day event, where I couldn’t bring my baby, I’d say sorry I can’t make it. But we’re all different and I guess it’s not that easy for everyone.

I was having a chat with a friend recently who is breastfeeding her 2yo daughter, outside of immediate family I’m the only one who knows because she says people think she’s weird for doing it. I fed my eldest until 18 months when I was heavily pregnant with my second and got the occasional odd look if I fed in public but couldn’t have given less shits if I’m honest. Why is it less acceptable to feed your older baby or toddler breast milk than it is to give them a happy meal?!

I would say 80% of mums I met did breastfeed. But also I met a lot at breastfeeding groups. Cousin and sister in law breastfed. I breastfed mine.

I think the difference is that it is an expensive up front cost whereas formula adds up to an expensive cost after 6-12 months.

I definitely feel the pressure to stop BFing and the judgement when we visit family. Both DH and I are from a council estate background and I don't think anyone in either family breastfed. Im very determined and headstrong but it does make me feel uncomfortable. Being surrounded by like minded, supportive people is a bigger deal than I expected.

If you are very low income, you can get healthy start vouchers which covers formula.

Likely the same for NCT classes.

It's a strange situation that seems common in the UK.

Well off people disproportionately take the less expensive option.

Poorer people do the thing that is more expensive.

And there are many posts where posters have used a lactation consultant and it hasn’t worked and money has been wasted

Not to be snarky, but lactation consultants cost less than 6-12 months of formula.

Because prolonged breastfeeding is more common amongst the middle class, which Mumsnet is full of.

I'm working class, but baby is still EBF at 7 months. You're right though, most people I know sack it off quickly or bottle feed.

Just an edit to say, it DOES NOT MATTER how you feed baby, as long as they're growing and healthy. There are pros and cons to all types of feeding.

Out of my 8 person NCT group, 1 formula-fed, 1 exclusively pumped, and everyone else breastfed.

The demographic who can afford an NCT class are the ones most likely to breastfeed.