Breastfeeding and MN. Why so different to IRL?

It is offensive and incorrect to post that someone who formula feeds doesn’t care for their baby as much as someone who breast feeds. How you feed your baby doesn’t determine your love for your baby.

Take it down a notch. Seriously.

You may feel offended (which is your right) but it doesn’t mean what the poster said was offensive. Which btw it wasn’t.

Your over reaction would suggest your potential guilt (?) and if not that then your over need to justify your choice which not everyone would agree with because you chose not to.

I could care less what you did because hey your baby was fed and it was your decision.

If we are being pedantic, how dare you insinuate that breastfeeding mothers need their partners to do so, or let it affect their mental health or wouldn’t be comfortable in public? This is your personal experience and valid to you but others can have opinions on you ‘not being asked’’. Any of the fears I had or uncomfortable feelings about breastfeeding were VERY secondary to doing the best for my baby.

Your reaction was interesting as you set out to justify how you already a great mother (and I don’t question this) but made rhe whole thing about you.

Again you do you and thats perfectly fine but your offence is personal and in justifying it you have said offensive things in return.

Then she misled you I'm afraid.
The Public Health Scotland Infant Feeding report also specifically states that for their purposes breastfeeding includes feeding expressed breast milk. In fact they also, rather sensibly, differentiate between "always exclusively breastfed" and "currently exclusively breastfed" so that in the sort of circumstances already alluded to on this thread, such as a baby that got one bottle of formula in hospital but has had only breastmilk since then, would still be included in the currently exclusively breastfed category.

Fair enough. I'm not in England, I'm in Scotland. I don't know about NHS Scotland policy, only what my health visitor told me.

I bf both of mine for 18 months. The first was exclusively bf and the second I bf at home and expressed for the childminder when I was at work.

I was prepared to stop at 12 months withy youngest because I went away for the week without her but I was amazed it hadn't interrrupted my supply at all and I just picked up where I left off when I got back!

I've known women who only ever ff, one of those was my exsil who said she never considered bf until she saw me doing it because none of her friends had. I've known others who bf for longer and others who did for various lengths of time. And others who did mixed feeding.

That's my real life experience.

Yeah studies show a majority not every single person. It’s the trend to discuss not individual experience.

I love it when I’m the opposite of a ‘trend’ or ‘study’!

No it is a generalisation but studies have shown demographically well educated middle class women are more likely to breatfeed than those from poorer socioeconomic backgrounds.

Sometimes the bride and groom actively want to accommodate babes in arms, though. My husband and I have been invited to a wedding in a few weeks. The invitation didn’t include names or indicate whether it was child free, so my husband texted the groom to check. We were told it was child free so my husband confirmed that he would attend on his own, as our baby will only be 8 weeks old and is exclusively breastfed. Groom then replied to say they would actually be happy to have our baby attend since she’s so small, and they would rather have us both there with the baby. So we’re leaving our older child with grandparents and going with the baby, at the bride and groom’s request.

How would one health visitor know that the research figures were incorrect?

Luckily cost wasn’t an issue for us when I decided to formula feed from day one.

I’ve no idea how others fed their babies - wasn’t in their houses to see!

Yes, exactly.
Where I’m from (in Ireland), the rates are extremely low. I know hardly anyone who has bf and the ones who have haven’t ebf and certainly not beyond a few months. I ebf my dc for six months then kept bf til nearly three years old. The whole reason I joined mn was because it kept coming up when I googled information about bf.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom yes, absolutely. I also had a lot of support from my DH and my family. My mum and my mother in law both breastfed (MIL breastfed 4 kids!!).

When we came home from hospital, DH would do every waking with me and help me position the baby (he had a tense neck and couldn't latch properly on one side plus I had had a c section and was struggling a lot physically)

My mum had warned me how hard it is. She says she breastfed me because of a really nice midwife who helped her out a lot. She still remembers the midwife's name and she calls her an angel, that's how much of a difference she made!

So I was mentally prepped that 1) it's hard and 2) outside help is needed.

That would ring true for my friendship group to be fair.

Yabu OP. All my friends and ante-natal group breastfed longterm.

I'd say at least 75% of the mums I knew BF until at least 6 months, maybe 40% to at least 12 months, 5-10% beyond that. Those who bottle fed tended to have decided beforehand and didn't try to BF. A few also combination fed. This was over 15 years ago, very mixed area.

You know I never understood this as bottle feeding costs money. I’m not saying all bottle fed mums are poor but maybe social stigma?

EBF also does not include any expressed milk, so if even once you tried expressing and bottle feeding, your baby is no longer EBF.
Says who? Not NHS England. They don't actually use the term EBF but divide infants into totally breastfed, partially breastfed and not at all breastfed for their data and state that "Totally breastfed is defined as infants who are exclusively receiving breast milk (this may be expressed breast milk)"
So a mother who is expressing some or all of her baby's feeds would definitely be counted as totally breastfeeding if no other food or fluids are being given.

I’m currently EBF, baby is 3mo. I BF through multiple tongue tie snips and surgery for a breast abscess, partly because I’m stubborn and partly because FF looks so much of a faff to me (among other reasons).

All the mothers I know are/were EBF or combi feeding, so I expected to do the same. Affluent SE area.

If those figures are accurate they indicate extremely low BF rates that are out of kilter with most European countries.

If you can't, then you can't. We're fortunate in our time that an alternative is available. But BF were as impossible as it's often made to sound then the human race would likely have struggled to survive to this point.

My mother exclusively BF us, and this was in the time when Cow & Gate et al were being pushed onto women as better alternatives.

I BF mine for 18 months - EBF for 6 of those. The first twelve weeks were gruelling, with constant cluster feeding, and I went nearly mad from lack of sleep. The key here is knowing exactly what to expect - that this is normal and provided the baby is gaining weight it doesn't mean they're not getting enough milk.

After that it was the easiest and most hassle free method available. Nor did I ever get one cross look or word when feeding in public.

I don't understand the fuss.

I'd agree with this. At the two year appointment it was never asked if I was still breastfeeding even though it was a question in the red book. Speaking with a health visitor, she told me that more mums breastfeed till two then research shows

Vimes economics again though.

if you are poor you can’t afford the upfront cost of a decent pair of boots. So you take the cheaper option, which doesn’t last as long, and you need to buy more.

so the rich end up spending less because they can afford it.

How many people are buying a year's worth of formula in one go though? That's the difference. I suspect some wouldn't be able to afford that either, they pay for formula as they need it.

As a pp said, you can't pay in installments with a lactation consultant.

Not my experience either.

even in the mat ward every issue was “do you want a bottle”. If they saw me feeding they’d ask if I wanted a bottle to give myself a break.

i was up feeding in the night and a passing m/w stopped to comment that I was “feeding again” and why didn’t I give formula and get some rest. (Again with the myth that formula =better sleep). When I refused she pushed, then when she found I hadn’t actually got any formula because bf was going well she gave me such a telling off. I should always have formula apparently in case my milk suddenly dried up. Like that can happen. This is despite all the other m/w offering to get
me formula, and there being a 24 hr shop outside I could send dh to.