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Original poster

Acceptable / realistic break pattern for 12 hour day?

31 replies

Proudestmumofone1 · 22/01/2025 08:05

Hi all

I realise I am writing this from a privileged position of being able to afford help at home (I am disabled and require additional support and we are lucky enough to be able to afford it - for now!)

We have had a full time live in nanny since our daughter was 6 weeks old. She is now 3.5 and in preschool full time during term time (7.30-4.30).

Our nanny was employed as a nanny/housekeeper.

Obviously the role has changed now our daughter (since September) is in full time preschool.

However, she is often refuse to complete household tasks and we have to employ cleaners etc.

Im feeling frustrated as it is a lot of money and having to work hard whilst someone is doing very little between 7.30 and 4.30 is frustrating!

my question is, what is a reasonable break schedule for someone working 6.30am - 6.15pm?

Would it be expected that personal cooking ie preparation of own lunch, is within the lunch break?

We’ve fallen into a pattern where we have little say over the tasks she does and her schedule but this has meant there are more and more breaks happening. Eg breakfast for 40 mins at 8am ish, then cooking for lunch during morning, then eating lunch say 11.15-12, then dinner at 4.30-5.15.
she has a full hour off around 12pm to 1pm for ‘lunch break’ that she spends in her room.

I am really not trying to be horrible and not let her have reasonable breaks, but the timings just don’t work - 4.30-5.15 is the only time in the day we need help with childcare! Having the dinner break before my daughter comes home would make so much more sense…

So what would you see as reasonable for these hours?

(I do think the fact that little ‘work’ is done in the time is a factor in my frustration - max 1 hour a day of laundry).

Please please don’t pile on about the fact we have this amount of help - it really is a necessity for us as I am physically unsafe to be with my daughter alone due to my disabilities so always need ‘someone in the background’ when I’m with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Proudestmumofone1 · 22/01/2025 08:16

@Zanatdy @Agix Agree with both of you.

Just to say, her contract is nanny / housekeeper and stipulated household tasks.

You're totally right though - we need to work out what works for us, have the conversation and see where that leads.

However, we have fallen into the trap of not wanting to ‘rock the boat’ especially when we know I have say a big surgery coming up and therefore are more reliant on support.

I guess my question is around what is typical within a work environment for breaks - I’m self employed so genuinely have no idea.

of course she may not agree to this when we pluck up the courage to have the conversation, but want to make sure we are coming from a reasonable standpoint in terms of expectation.

PS part of the reluctance to deal with this has been that it is sooo hard to find Nannys round here

OP posts:
Catza · 22/01/2025 08:14

Legally, she is only entitled to 20 minutes every 6 hours. Pragmatically, I would offer 1h in a 12h shift, plus two 15 minute tea breaks.
The bigger issue is that she is not actually doing what you need her to do. The position was advertised as nanny/housekeeper. She is not doing the housekeeping part and she is not doing much nannying either. I would speak to her about the agreed duties and times when you would like her to take breaks. If she is not happy with the arrangement, I would give notice as she is not fulfilling her contractual obligations. Then find someone more suitable.
Cooking her own meals should be done in break time or after work. I don't get extra time to prepare my lunch in the office.

DaDaDoDaiDa · 22/01/2025 08:14

then eating lunch say 11.15-12, then dinner at 4.30-5.15.
she has a full hour off around 12pm to 1pm for ‘lunch break’ that she spends in her room.

This sounds a bit odd - is she working while she eats her lunch 11:15 - 12? I would suggest as a start that she has her lunch during her lunch break.

If you need her 4:30 - 5:15 wouldn't it make more sense for her working day to finish at 5:30 so she wouldn't need a separate dinner break?

Agix · 22/01/2025 08:10

Ideally, as many and as long as she needs. Paid. I'd say the same for any job, but alas, capitalism.

If her breaks aren't working for you, and she's not actually helping at the time of day you need help, you need to talk to her. It's not up to us to dictate whats reasonable for her - we don't know her. We can't discuss with her and get her reasons and POV. You need to do that as her employer, and come to o either agreement or compromise that works.

If her needs (or desires that she's unwilling to change) mean she cannot perform the most important parts of her job, you need a different nanny.

Zanatdy · 22/01/2025 08:09

Sounds like you need a different person as Nanny’s often don’t do household chores. You need a housekeeper who will assist with your daughter too. Maybe advise Nanny what you need and ask if she can provide, if not give notice and advertise for exactly what you need. I’d stipulate the breaks for times that work for you. Maybe 2 half hour (unpaid) breaks.

Original poster
Proudestmumofone1 · 22/01/2025 08:07

Oops apologies for typos! Clearly half asleep after the daily struggle getting my daughter into nursery…. ‘But I want to be homeeee’ 🤣

OP posts: