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Original poster

Made me feel uncomfortable should I make a complaint.

243 replies

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:06

Hi, my 5 year old dd has been seeing a male dr for autism. We’ve gotten a diagnosis and went in to see the dr for a meeting. He done a physical exam, her height, weight etc.
he then said that in the previous appointment he wasn’t able to check her skin and needed to do it so I agreed. He checked her skin and then attempted to take her knickers off which I could have done ? And if he’s checking her skin why did he need to see her genitals? I stopped it there it made me feel uncomfortable. What does a test for autism have to do with her genitals ?
am I being unreasonable? I hope I’m just overthinking because of my own trauma but he did makes me feel abit uncomfortable… he also commented on me and my daughters lips… I really hope I’m over thinking

OP posts:
Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 13:35

@spacepies i just assumed it was fine because when she was a baby they would undress her to weigh her but it was a nurse at the hospital and she’s also not a baby anymore she’s 5. Really upsetting. The first appointment he kept adjusting his trousers crotch area but I’m clearly not over thinking

OP posts:
Newnamesameme · 22/01/2025 13:35

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Please complain in retrospect. Even if you can't remember everything. My stomach was sick reading that please complain. I'm sorry that that happened to your daughter and you.

arcticpandas · 22/01/2025 13:34

Wtf. Does he think autism is linked to her genitals! What a disgusting paedophile !! So sorry for you OP! Don't worry about your girl though, she didn't notice something was off. Glad to hear you reported him! My DC's GP has checked their genitals on occasion but he's always explained why and asked me and my kids about their consent. For an autism assessment this should not have happened!

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 13:29

@Gggglinda i honestly wonder if it’s the same dr … it sounds too similar. Did you make a complaint ?

OP posts:
Sleepingbunny1 · 22/01/2025 13:29

My DD has autism and ADHD and never asked to undress whatsoever.

Pleasee report this today and not wait a moment longer

Temporaryname158 · 22/01/2025 13:28

I wouldn’t ring and make a complaint I’d put it in writing to the practice and to the General Medical Council!

this is very concerning. Make sure your complaints include h personal comments he has made as well as his actions on this occasions

spacepies · 22/01/2025 13:23

I dont think i would have held my temper back i would have lost it there and then.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 22/01/2025 13:22

I too am shocked by this. Well done for comparing straight away.

HollyKnight · 22/01/2025 13:20

If he felt it was necessary, he really should have explained beforehand.

Tillow4ever · 22/01/2025 13:15

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 11:25

Thankyou all, I’ve spoken to nhs complaints and they did agree that it’s odd. I spoke o multiple professionals who have agreed it’s odd. I’ve Made a formal complaint and will be treating my daughter to some ice cream after school. Had a very bad gut feeling the first time I met him I just know Alot about him will come to light.

Well done. I hope they take this seriously and act appropriately.

If you find they don't, I would consider the police at that stage.

Cattreesea · 22/01/2025 13:13

Raise a complaint! this doctor sounds dodgy as hell and needs to be reported.

Incakewetrust · 22/01/2025 13:05

Not to sound OTT but I'd ring the police about this. Completely unnecessary and unacceptable behaviour from the dr.
So many red flags.

MimiGC · 22/01/2025 13:02

What kind of a surgery/ clinic was this? It seems highly irregular for a doctor to the be the only person on the premises...was your appointment at the very end of a day?

Snippit · 22/01/2025 13:02

I thought there needed to be another professional person in the room for intimate examinations? The fact he didn’t call for one would ring my warning bell, well done for not allowing the examination. Sometimes we can be blinded by the fact that they are a “DR” and can’t possibly be anything other than proficient at their jobs and so not to doubt them. Some of them think they’re beyond reproach, my daughter had a gynaecologist like this, after 5 years of gas lighting she is now having therapy for complex PTSD, such a wanker of a man!!

FoxtonFoxton · 22/01/2025 12:55

What the fuck?! DS is autistic and was diagnosed at 4. He has NEVER had a test for autism that involved someone looking at his skin or taking his underwear off, and he's seen a number of paediatricians, CAHMS, psychologists....this is incredibly worrying.

GG1986 · 22/01/2025 12:52

Wtf! Absolutely you need to make a complaint immediately about this.

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 22/01/2025 12:46

Can you please confirm he didn't see your dd's genitals at all? Feel quite ill for you op...

Briannaco · 22/01/2025 12:42

BlitheSpirits · 22/01/2025 12:40

I think its very odd that a practice would put a doctor in the position of being the only staff member on site.Most patients wont have a chaperone with them

They're understaffed. I went to see a doctor in a GPS once. And there was only him and one receptionist in the place. No nurses around at all

BlitheSpirits · 22/01/2025 12:40

I think its very odd that a practice would put a doctor in the position of being the only staff member on site.Most patients wont have a chaperone with them

MaloryJones · 22/01/2025 12:28

Re the Mole

That should be kept an eye on.
I had one right up until I was 53 and then it was removed. It was benign but as I had had skin cancer prior, it was deemed best, by Me and the Dr, to remove the mole.

Briannaco · 22/01/2025 12:27

This thread makes me angry. As i do think that there are many perverts and paedophiles masquerading as doctors.

MaloryJones · 22/01/2025 12:26

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:23

@PicaK its made me feel like a failure of a mum now. We’ve had an appointment before and he honestly made me feel uncomfortable, he said my daughter is very charismatic. I spoke to my mum about it and she didn’t someone saying that isn’t a bad thing it’s good but what happened today raised more red flags

Do not beat yourself up
You are not a failure of a Mum, at all. Quite the opposite.

YANBU at all to report this Person.

I have never heard the like for an autism diagnosis in all my 60 years.

Briannaco · 22/01/2025 12:15

Being realistic- some men do go into being a doctor - in order to see and grope naked women and girls.

I remember chatting to a female doctor on here before. And she said that the most perverted doctors on her college course - decided to specialise in gynaecology.

A doctor in a practice near me has alot just been struck off, for molesting underage girls when they went to see him.

gamerchick · 22/01/2025 12:12

RocketPanda · 22/01/2025 07:10

Why on earth is he even checking her skin? I can understand muscle tone as that's linked with ASD. I would absolutely make a complaint.

Autism can go hand in hand with other things like EDS. Stretchy skin is something that can be seen.

There's absolutely no way he should be looking in her knickers though. You need to flag this to protect other vulnerable kids. I'm sorry OP.

Briannaco · 22/01/2025 12:12

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 11:25

Thankyou all, I’ve spoken to nhs complaints and they did agree that it’s odd. I spoke o multiple professionals who have agreed it’s odd. I’ve Made a formal complaint and will be treating my daughter to some ice cream after school. Had a very bad gut feeling the first time I met him I just know Alot about him will come to light.

Well done!