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Original poster

Made me feel uncomfortable should I make a complaint.

243 replies

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:06

Hi, my 5 year old dd has been seeing a male dr for autism. We’ve gotten a diagnosis and went in to see the dr for a meeting. He done a physical exam, her height, weight etc.
he then said that in the previous appointment he wasn’t able to check her skin and needed to do it so I agreed. He checked her skin and then attempted to take her knickers off which I could have done ? And if he’s checking her skin why did he need to see her genitals? I stopped it there it made me feel uncomfortable. What does a test for autism have to do with her genitals ?
am I being unreasonable? I hope I’m just overthinking because of my own trauma but he did makes me feel abit uncomfortable… he also commented on me and my daughters lips… I really hope I’m over thinking

OP posts:
soundsys · 22/01/2025 14:12

I'm autistic as are two of my children and none of us have eve had our genitalia's looked at as part of the diagnosis or since! Would definitely be in touch to ask what it was all about. Medical professionals should also tell you what they are doing and why and seek consent so even if there was a valid reason to check for some reason this should have been clearly explained to you (and her!)

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 14:12

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SuffolkUnicorn · 22/01/2025 14:11

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BobbyBiscuits · 22/01/2025 14:11

@Singlemamabear yeah, that's bang out of order. Report him to the GMC. He's probably done worse and needs to be stopped. He did that in plain site of you, so behind closed doors doesnt bear thinking about. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your child x

Banyon · 22/01/2025 14:10

Report to your local authority Children’s safeguarding
Report to NSPCC

i suggest multiple reports because I know from experience that some organizations “believe” the professional, as professionals make allegations behind mums back that she is “stressed” “unstable”.

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 14:08

@SuffolkUnicorn are u actually serious right now. What even more sick u thinking this

OP posts:
SuffolkUnicorn · 22/01/2025 14:08

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Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 14:08

@BobbyBiscuits he said her skin but missed the big rash on her arm. He saw her skin why did he need to see her genitals and he wanted to take it down I consent nothing

OP posts:
SpeedyMcNobhead · 22/01/2025 14:07

My 2 DS’s with an autism diagnosis did have a skin check, and a general wellbeing check during their diagnostic appointments, but certainly not genital areas, just torso, arms and legs.

SuffolkUnicorn · 22/01/2025 14:07

nonce alert

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 14:06

@zerogrey yes I’ve already started on a complaint

OP posts:
zerogrey · 22/01/2025 14:02

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BobbyBiscuits · 22/01/2025 13:57

This is weird. If he did need to see that area, then he should explain the reasons why and then usually there's a chaperone called into the room. Then you would explain to the child and either you or her would remove underwear. All while he is explaining fully and asking consent for each thing.
Even then, unless there was pain or injury in that area why would he need to look? And he's not even that kind of doctor anyway if he's dealing with ND diagnoses.
I would be making a complaint and not using him again.

Ellepff · 22/01/2025 13:57

This is absolutely not not not okay.

As a few PP have said, there can be reasons to check muscle tone etc, but not genitals. And if for any reason gentials need to be checked, there should be a proper conversation, proper people in the room (in Canada a female nurse is often called in - protects doctor and patient). There are genetic conditions that can coexist with autism or be misdiagnosed as autism and the exams for those are different (still don’t think genitals are involved but our DS had some exams related to his bedwetting).

This was creepy and unprofessional at best. More likely a pattern of repeated SA

ThatUniqueKoala · 22/01/2025 13:56

DS had two separate autism assessments, not once did they touch him other than to do height, weight and head circumference.

He had absolutely no reason to remove your child's clothing, especially her underwear. Glad you'll be reporting.

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 13:50

@Comff theyre hiding in plain sight now but my gut knew. Straight away I just knew, I had a bad feeling from the first appointment.everyone I spoke to was completely disgusted by what I told them

OP posts:
Comff · 22/01/2025 13:47

@Gggglinda id get your post removed in case some evil creep sees it. I hope that suggestion doesn’t make you feel bad in any way, but I think it’s not worth risking. I echo Pp that you should complain too, regardless of the fact it’s in the past.

Gggglinda · 22/01/2025 13:46

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Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 13:42

@Gggglinda without giving too much information is the dr located in London and name begins with a n ? It sounds too similar

OP posts:
TypingoftheDead · 22/01/2025 13:41

As a PP said, get it put in writing, not just verbal. You did nothing wrong, OP, since he’s “that type” he also knows he can use his position of authority to try and get away with dodgy behaviour. Good that you put a stop to it.

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 13:41

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I thought the same thing, but the bad feeling was eating me up. I think you should report it too. How long ago was this ? No one should be able to do this to our babies and get away with it ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 13:39

@Ponderingg thankyou so much. He said she needed to check for skin conditions but that has nothing to do with autism 😢 she also had a rash on her arm he didn’t notice. He was focused on other things

OP posts:
Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 13:37

@arcticpandas thankyou so much, I just wish this never happened and I never brought her there. He tried to cover it up by being VERY NICE but that type always is.

OP posts:
Ponderingg · 22/01/2025 13:37

OP you are doing the right thing here. Well done.

As far as your daughter is concerned, please don’t worry. He might have got some pleasure out of seeing her in her underwear but she absolutely won’t know or be affected by that. Don’t make a big deal of this to her or let her know it has affected you. She’ll be fine.

Gggglinda · 22/01/2025 13:37

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