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AIBU?

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Original poster

Made me feel uncomfortable should I make a complaint.

243 replies

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:06

Hi, my 5 year old dd has been seeing a male dr for autism. We’ve gotten a diagnosis and went in to see the dr for a meeting. He done a physical exam, her height, weight etc.
he then said that in the previous appointment he wasn’t able to check her skin and needed to do it so I agreed. He checked her skin and then attempted to take her knickers off which I could have done ? And if he’s checking her skin why did he need to see her genitals? I stopped it there it made me feel uncomfortable. What does a test for autism have to do with her genitals ?
am I being unreasonable? I hope I’m just overthinking because of my own trauma but he did makes me feel abit uncomfortable… he also commented on me and my daughters lips… I really hope I’m over thinking

OP posts:
HollyKnight · 23/01/2025 09:16

I'm wondering if this is a psychologist using their Dr title which the OP thinks makes them a doctor. It would be extremely odd for a GP to diagnose ASD.

LaMarschallin · 23/01/2025 09:08

Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:39

I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying sorry. I've said before I'm autistic and he should not be doing those intimate checks.

I think I understand why you were asking.
It's not impossible for a GP to have qualifications in psychology (or psychiatry, which people sometimes don't realise is a separate discipline and a medical speciality) but it is unusual.
A more common transition is from psychiatrist to psychologist and I know a couple of people who've done that. It involves a lot of specialist training.
I assume you were perhaps wondering whether this person was everything they claim to be.
Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick though.

Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:40

You did nothing wrong at all and I'm sorry this happened.

HollyKnight · 23/01/2025 08:39

What makes you think he is a doctor?

Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:39

I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying sorry. I've said before I'm autistic and he should not be doing those intimate checks.

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 23/01/2025 08:39

Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:38

No it's not a joke on you. Sorry. I've offered advice up thred.

I was speaking about the Ross person not you, he’s come on here angry that I have a issue what happened with my child

OP posts:
Original poster
Singlemamabear · 23/01/2025 08:38

Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:37

@porridgebath

Because he's clearly not a gp. I've commented already on here.

We was sent to him by the nhs. We was on the waiting list for ages

OP posts:
Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:38

No it's not a joke on you. Sorry. I've offered advice up thred.

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 23/01/2025 08:37

porridgebath · 23/01/2025 08:30

Why were you being sarcastic on a thread like this???

Show quote history

im Going to delete this thread soon thankyou for all the support ❤️ but some nasty people on here making as joke of it and also being angry that I find something wrong with what happened 😳

OP posts:
Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:37

@porridgebath

Because he's clearly not a gp. I've commented already on here.

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 23/01/2025 08:36

TaggieO · 22/01/2025 20:09

@Rosscameasdoody this really isn’t how it is done. Patients have rights, and that includes children. The process in this scenario would be to say “Elsie, I need to have a look at your bottom to check it isn’t sore. (For example) Can you pop your underwear off? Perhaps Mum can help you.” Not to just randomly pull down a child’s knickers!

the doctor hasn’t sought consent appropriately, and has overstepped the boundaries too. This absolutely isn’t ok.

Exactly! Just ignore this person … seems like he would do the same. Not sure why he’s so angry about this ordeal it didn’t happen to him

OP posts:
porridgebath · 23/01/2025 08:30

Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:27

Oh no sorry. I was being sarcastic as I didn't think that was a thing?

Why were you being sarcastic on a thread like this???

Oreyt · 23/01/2025 08:27

Oh no sorry. I was being sarcastic as I didn't think that was a thing?

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 23/01/2025 08:24

@Oreyt yes ! Do u have a incling of who this may be ?

OP posts:
Oreyt · 22/01/2025 20:37

Is he a Jack of all trades? A GP and a Psychologist? 🤔🤔

TaggieO · 22/01/2025 20:09

@Rosscameasdoody this really isn’t how it is done. Patients have rights, and that includes children. The process in this scenario would be to say “Elsie, I need to have a look at your bottom to check it isn’t sore. (For example) Can you pop your underwear off? Perhaps Mum can help you.” Not to just randomly pull down a child’s knickers!

the doctor hasn’t sought consent appropriately, and has overstepped the boundaries too. This absolutely isn’t ok.

TaggieO · 22/01/2025 20:04

@PigInADuvet it’s not the being undressed that the issue for me per se, it’s the fact he went to remove her underwear himself without explanation or consent. This is something we absolutely DO NOT DO. Not to a well child. We might undress a child with injuries if we needed to gain access to that part of their bodies but a child who is there for a routine appointment? Absolutely not.

PigInADuvet · 22/01/2025 19:54

Thinking back to when my child was diagnosed (under 5, by paediatrics rather than CAMHS or any ND pathway) they did want to see him undressed including no nappy. He also had bloods done too. Reason being they were looking to include/exclude the possibility of his autism being as a result of a genetic condition (which they were very clear about and explained)

That said, he was 18 months old at the time. Very different to a 5 year old.

Preciousmoments18 · 22/01/2025 19:47

NameChangedOfc · 22/01/2025 16:06

This

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Agree

Greyish2025 · 22/01/2025 19:34

Maria1982 · 22/01/2025 17:33

Your instinct is 100% correct.
please report him!

How would you know if her instinct is 100% correct? You couldn’t possibly know that

Greyish2025 · 22/01/2025 18:47

Nanny0gg · 22/01/2025 18:42

I never had to lower or remove my underwear

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For what

Cazeesh · 22/01/2025 18:44

Seems incredibly suspicious to me. I’d absolutely report this and change doctors immediately!

Nanny0gg · 22/01/2025 18:42

Greyish2025 · 22/01/2025 17:34

If you read my comment I asked if he actually checked her genitalia or was it just the skin around it and her bottom!

There is a difference

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I never had to lower or remove my underwear

bluedelphiniums · 22/01/2025 18:31

I went to a doctor for a medical when I was in my late teens. I remember him aksing me to take my bra off, and I sat on the edge of the bed topless while he continued with the examination (which had nothing to do with my breasts). Sounds absolutely stupid now, but at the time, mid eighties, we were all led to believe a doctor was someone to hold in utmost trust & respect and even though I felt uncomfortable, I never reported it or even told my mum. I was too embarrassed at the time. Makes me very angry looking back...

Gilead · 22/01/2025 18:15

2025GoodGrief · 22/01/2025 15:19

I know the spine will sometimes be checked as there are apparently links with autism and scoliosis.

He wouldn't have needed to actually remove her pants to do this though!

This would not however be done by a psychologist or psychiatrist.

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