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Original poster

Made me feel uncomfortable should I make a complaint.

243 replies

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:06

Hi, my 5 year old dd has been seeing a male dr for autism. We’ve gotten a diagnosis and went in to see the dr for a meeting. He done a physical exam, her height, weight etc.
he then said that in the previous appointment he wasn’t able to check her skin and needed to do it so I agreed. He checked her skin and then attempted to take her knickers off which I could have done ? And if he’s checking her skin why did he need to see her genitals? I stopped it there it made me feel uncomfortable. What does a test for autism have to do with her genitals ?
am I being unreasonable? I hope I’m just overthinking because of my own trauma but he did makes me feel abit uncomfortable… he also commented on me and my daughters lips… I really hope I’m over thinking

OP posts:
Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:27

@JustMarriedBecca yes that’s why I stopped it. There was no one else in the clinic expect for him, not a receptionist etc. she did not refuse last time nor was she anxious he did not ask last time

OP posts:
MrTiddlesTheCat · 22/01/2025 07:27

4 autism diagnosises here and not a single inspection of skin or genitals. That is very worrying indeed.

Han86 · 22/01/2025 07:26

I don't understand how her gentials are linked to autism and actually why she would be getting undressed at all if that was the only reason for the appointment. Unless you had some other medical concerns they were investigating at the same time I really don't understand why they were checking her skin (or what the blood test was for if autism?)

JustMarriedBecca · 22/01/2025 07:26

It feels nothing to do with autism but a general check. Particularly if he commented on the moles. Was she anxious and / or refusing to be checked last time (as a result of the autism?)

The knicker bit is strange and I would have raised that at the time.

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:25

@Flipslop i feel like I’ve not protected her well enough. I should have said no overall. He said if it was fine and I said yes, which I shouldn’t have done. I wasn’t aware he would have tried to look at her genitals. I’ve always had a bad feeling about him

OP posts:
dothehokeycokey · 22/01/2025 07:23

That just made my blood run cold op you are definitely in the right to question that altogether.

Your poor daughter. Confused

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:23

@PicaK its made me feel like a failure of a mum now. We’ve had an appointment before and he honestly made me feel uncomfortable, he said my daughter is very charismatic. I spoke to my mum about it and she didn’t someone saying that isn’t a bad thing it’s good but what happened today raised more red flags

OP posts:
Flipslop · 22/01/2025 07:22

Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:19

@TouchOfSilverShampoo wow I’ll be calling up today. Feel sick to my stomach

Oh gosh I’m so so sorry this happened 😔 you protected your daughter though, be proud of listening to your instincts and push this complaint to the hilt, so many abuser hide in plain sight it’s awful. Sending a huge hug, from reading your post it sounds as though this could have been very triggering for you also xx

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:19

@TouchOfSilverShampoo wow I’ll be calling up today. Feel sick to my stomach

OP posts:
TouchOfSilverShampoo · 22/01/2025 07:18

Ummm. We've just gone through assessment with our DD and not once were we asked to remove any clothing.

100% complain.

thepariscrimefiles · 22/01/2025 07:17

What did he say about your and your daughter's lips?

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:16

@Starfish1021 thankyou, I’ll be raising a complaint today. Something about him makes me feel so uncomfortable

OP posts:
Oreyt · 22/01/2025 07:16

Dd has a bad back and everytime we have see the dr she has told dd to lower her trousers herself.

This is really weird. I was assessed for Autism 5 years ago.

What has height weight skin genitalia got to do with it?

PicaK · 22/01/2025 07:16

Usually I read threads like this and you think people are bu if they are complaining about funny vibes etc
But not in this case.
Report immediately - your instinct seems bang on.

Original poster
Singlemamabear · 22/01/2025 07:15

@BilboBlaggin he made her get blood tests prior but that was done with a nurse. My understanding is if he needed to check her genitals wouldn’t that be done by a nurse too… he took her height and measurements and said he needed to check her skin. She has a beauty spot on her back and he said to make a note if she gets any more of these …

OP posts:
BilboBlaggin · 22/01/2025 07:11

As above, I can't think why a doctor assessing autism would need to check genitals. Did he offer any explanation as to why it was necessary? I would most certainly raise this.

RocketPanda · 22/01/2025 07:10

Why on earth is he even checking her skin? I can understand muscle tone as that's linked with ASD. I would absolutely make a complaint.

Starfish1021 · 22/01/2025 07:08

I can not imagine in what world an autism diagnosis would require a genital check. You need to speak up about this.

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