DH cheated, I don’t believe his version of events

@TwinklySquid

I don’t care if it sounds dismissive. I’m not going to waste time giving supportive advice to someone who is going to just accept their partner has been with someone else.

But you're happy to waste time giving them not supportive advice? When you believe they won't take it?

Doesn't make much sense does it.

There are so many posts of women finding out their partner has cheated and then still stayed with them. So what is the point of posting if you are adamant you won’t end things?

I don’t care if it sounds dismissive. I’m not going to waste time giving supportive advice to someone who is going to just accept their partner has been with someone else.

I have now seen later updates and surprise, surprise, he’s done more than he originally said. Which is what a lot of people who have put similar posts to mine thought all along.

Oh my god I wish people would see that a thread has 650 replies, including 10 updates from OP and consider whether the thread might have moved on a bit...!

FFS OP! He had his penis in another woman's mouth, no doubt absolutely loving it and ejaculating in her mouth!! How is that not cheating?? Ask him how he'd feel if you went out, got high on cocaine and sucked off some hot af bloke! You can guarantee he'd consider it cheating. He'll do it again. He's remorseful now and that might last a while but as soon as he's comfortable and back in your good books, he'll be out looking for another hottie to stick his penis in. Harsh I know but true.

There are 650 posts. OP has posted ten times since her original post.

Did you not think it might be checking out at least OP's posts in such a long thread, before posting?

If you had then maybe you wouldn't have written such a dismissive post and instead shared something vaguely supportive or empathetic.

I hope he has taken his cheating ass off to the sexual health clinic. He is living in your home and touching your child and things around your home. I would advise that you are tested as well because this is probably not the first time he has cheated. You need to raise your standards and get rid of him. I would tell the family why the relationship failed as well.

If you aren’t going to leave him, then what’s the point in going over things?

Youll let him get away with this and your self esteem with be in the toilet because he’ll keep doing it.

I'm 41 and I've seen more stuff than you. Life is really long and if you stay with this man he will repeat this again and again and again and ruin your life. Go, hold your head up high, tell your close family and friends what he did. Live your life with your baby who will bring you so much future joy, cry your eyes out but don't look back because you're taking a step towards a better future without him. It won't feel like that today but I promise you'll never regret leaving a cheater.

I've posted before I read all the replies.

Omg op, I'm so sorry. What a horrible person he is. It must be such a shock to find out what he is really like.

I hope u have the strength to keep him out your life, he will never change.

So sorry that you’re going through this. Some years back, my own husband cheated on me with a friend of mine - end of marriage. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would never get beyond that moment. I wouldn’t let it go.
My sister’s husband cheated on her and she took him back. Would hate to be her, always looking over her shoulder, wondering if he’s totally honest and knowing what he put her through.
You’ve taken absolutely the right decision. This is the only way forward, my lovely. Lean on your friends and family and kick the cheating sod into the gutter where he belongs.

Read all of your updates. I’m sorry this has happened to you OP. You are much better off without him.

please book an appointment at the sexual health clinic 🫂

If I've understood this correctly he's been screwing around for months, probably years. This last time the object of his attention wouldn't give him penetrative sex. He bragged about the sex (BJ) to a work colleague and then tried to go round again to get more but she bailed.
He then went home and "confessed" and shared every piece of incriminating evidence he'd previously successfully hidden. Presumably so that the OP would end the relationship and save him the trouble.

He really is a cowardly lying piece of work. Get yourself tested OP (you really don't know where he's been) and take him to the cleaners.

I feel for you; this is a massive betrayal. But you are well rid.

Isn't oral sex enough? Of course they had sex but even if they didn't he was going to and he let her give him head. He's been all over her, there's no way she kept her underwear on. And he has the cheek to follow her and u don't want to leave him?
He's done it once and you've shown him he can do what he wants.

Christ what a bastard. You poor soul. It’s obvious he’s a serial cheat and I would also be checking the house for cocaine because I can guarantee it will be in the house somewhere, which is dangerous for the baby. Also get tested for STIs.
Karma will come round.
why on earth did he get married!! You deserve better. I hope you have support x

Somehow yes I missed her last 2 posts which I've just seen and can't delete my reply I'm wondering why he told her this time when he's been doing this for god knows how long .
I am pleased she found her spine and has left him way too many women don't I'm proud of her .

Did you miss the bit where she's asked him to leave?

You don't want to leave him ? Well welcome to your new reality because he will do it again and again why wouldn't he youre a doormat and he can do what he wants because you won't leave anyway .
Good luck and when your child grows up thinking this is perfectly acceptable behaviour remember it's you that showed them what a relationship looks like

Ouch! You poor thing.

He doesn’t deserve your forgiveness and you would surely have lost all or any respect for him……. I couldn’t stay with this man if I were in your shoes.

Once a cheat, always a cheat: whether that’s oral or full on sex. What a shitbag!

This is why generally I give up on watching threads when they extend to a lot of pages:: it's unbelievable that so many people don't read the OP's updates.

I'm only still following this because I was hoping the OP would give an update as to how she is in the aftermath of her discovery of what her DH is really like.

I just wish posters would treat her and the position she finds herself in - through no fault of her own- with respect and have the decency to read what she has had to say. But so many can't even be bothered to do that

Time to leave. He has told you a watered down version. Leave now while your 9mo doesn't remember living with him and find a decent man. HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.

H'mmm. Kept not only underpants on but skirt as well? Hiding something? Keen to suck his penis twice with no reciprocation? For free? Was her name Lola? Probably s/he's gushing to friends about the straight guy she pulled who had no idea!

Do you have any proof that it was an actual work trip? Sounds like a pre-meditated meet up with his whore.

Yeah… nah…. No way is someone giving head x2 on a one night stand. A shag yes. Also your DH is disgusting and I hope he feels ashamed of himself.

you and your little one deserve so much more.

Gosh sorry OP, but just the way he talks about woman is surely enough to never ever be with him. He clearly does not respect woman.

Did drugs , indulged in a one night stand , followed her on insta .. yes you love him but at this point you should love yourself and your body more . Please get him tested for STI.

If the tables were turned - you went to a club , did a line of coke , spent the night with a younger man you met at the club and have him perform ‘licky licky ‘ on you twice would he excuse you ?