Should I be helping out parent financially?

You were a single child raised by your single mother. Your mother works in a low paid job, struggles financially and you are comfortable on 6 figures.... As above, in a heartbeat.

it wouldn’t even occur to me to wonder about this. Yes you didn’t ask her to be a single mum but I would’ve helped long before now.

Yeh I would. I'm 29. DM mid 50's, doesn't need the money but I give her £300 monthly. Before I had DC it was £800 monthly as a thank you for raising me ! She was also a single mum

Why wouldn't you if you think you should? I was a single parent on a low salary and I helped my mum out to keep her from being prosecuted for not paying bills (she was really bad with money). I know your mum isn't in the same boat but I bet she'd be really grateful if you could help her a bit, especially if she's not getting dental treatment she needs.

I pay my dad’s internet and tv package - the old one was running out so I switched for him and took over the payments. Told a white lie - that I bundled it in with ours for hardly any money! I suspect that he suspects because he has Sky Sports etc but I get to feel good, he gets decent internet and to watch his beloved football team so all is well…

Me and my sibling give our lovely aunt £100 each per month. She’s had an unlucky life but is such a generous person and we love her, so if it means she’ll put the heating on for longer or treat herself to a nice lunch or a haircut, it makes us happier too.

So yes OP, in your shoes I’d help your mum out a bit.

If I thought dad needed day to day money, Inwiuld start sending a monthly sum too.

I would help. I do help my dad. He never asks but I have started to cover certain things, MOT on car, flights to visit, when I visit I’ll pick up things he might need, I arranged for a fence to get fixed… I often tell him it’s a lot less than it was… sometimes we go halves.
My parents did everything for me, we did t have much money but my needs always came 1st so now I do what I can.

If my mother was struggling for something basic like dentist or car 100% would help her. I think it's quite bad that you don't offer especially with that income. It comes across quite selfish sorry. I bet you are not but this post does even with your additional comments

I have done so for decades. Holidays paid in full, a monthly allowance for fun spending, any new appliances, etc. Surely, if we have enough money for our own needs and fun money, we help our families unasked?

I would set up a regular transfer so she has some extra cash.

Thank you for your kindness in considering your dear mother. I think you have your answers here.

Help your mother.

It sounds as though she’s really struggling and has quite a poor standard of living. I’d definitely help her out. If you feel uncomfortable offering money, or she wouldn’t accept, there are other ways. Getting her car fixed, shopping vouchers each month, etc.

Unpleasant and unnecessary.

I'm normally of the opinion that children don't owe parents anything and I certainly am not paying for anything at all for my selfish, abusive dad even though I have a lot more than him. However, my mum would be another matter. As it stands she is quite comfortable and has actually given me a big chunk of money. But if it were different I would be doing what I could to help her because I love her and she's a good mum to me.

I think paying for dental insurance as PP have suggested is a great idea as a minimum and as a maximum, buying a house for her to live in would really free her up, but I don't know how much you might have available. There's a whole load in between too.

Is this a reverse? If not then I have no idea why you haven't helped out your mum already.

Could you pay her rent for a year? That would be the best thing I guess then she would be in front every month and she could manage then to create a small savings pot. That wouldnt feel like charity for her if she is managing it maybe? You sound like you care a lot but don't want to mess up anything Go on do a good thing and then don't mention it again x

I expect if shes anything like my mum, shes rubbish at accepting clothes and shoes, but I would say "Well I need you to have internet so I can contact you, and I need you to have a working car and dental". Start by paying for that.

Of course you should. Your poor mum.

I think I would pay for practical things like car insurance/repairs and the dental plan suggested above. Take her shopping for new shoes/clothes etc as your treat. That should free up some of her money to spend as she wishes and be less awkward for her to accept than a cash lump. Does she have a retirement plan as rent would be hard to find on pension, or is she in council/subsidised housing?

I’m in the same position, only child, single mum in a low paid, low hours job. She’s looked after my children while I worked. I will be doing everything to make sure she won’t be struggling in her retirement/older age. She would never, ever ask for anything but we’re very close so I’ll be able to see if there’s anything she needs to be able to sort it. It wouldn’t occur to me to think otherwise to be honest.

I’m in a veryyyy similar boat….i love my mum!!!

i don’t give her money pm or anything but I am much more proactive in my help these days….

some examples

i “did her teeth” for her 70th she kept talking about it for years but nothing happened. So I just booked an app and sent her to my dentist and said get whatever you need done up to 10k … it ended up being 15k but her teeth look 😍 and it’s really improved her confidence

similarly the nhs gp was fobbing her off on a medical issue I paid for a private specialist app (£250) they ruled out the most likely issue so she’s now been able to go back and get referral to correct specialist via nhs

I also do stuff like book her an app with the foot dr every 6 months or so as a thank you for <insert random thing> as she has bunions

we paid for her to come on holiday with us as a “thank you”

I’d pay to fix her car, pay for flights to see siblings, anything health related…

I tried to get her DL gym membership but she wasn’t having it 🤣

I would help, I couldn't see a good parent struggling to pay for dental work etc.