Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this rude?

56 replies

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 21/01/2025 17:19

I have therapy and a car broke down en route to the appointment.

I texted my therapist and said “hi there is a broken down vehicle. ETA is 17:30” she said “that’s nearly 30 mins late! Message me when you’re here” so u said “yes I’m aware, hence why I’m letting you know now so it doesn’t impact you or other clients. I left at 4 pm and ufortunately I can’t move through the traffic any faster then I currently am”

she then phoned me getting uppity saying it’s abrupt and her time is precious etc. I said well I can’t really text and drive so I think you’ve misinterpreted it.

thoughts?? Was I rude?

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 21/01/2025 17:56

I guess you were quick as texting illegally, presumably. I am lucky that my car has built-in car phone software so I could voice note

Call therapist - Hi therapist so sorry there is an accident on my journey and it looks like I will be late. Or I could also text by voice

If I didn't have these options I wouldn't have been able to let them know at all. I understand you were flustered and forgot the pleasantries, I think she can forgive you.

reichs79 · 21/01/2025 17:55

First message almost rude- sounds like you still expected the full session, second message- rude. However she isn't all that great either!

TappyGilmore · 21/01/2025 17:44

Your first message was only borderline acceptable. Most people would apologise if they are late. Also 30 minutes is a lot, I probably would have assumed that I needed to cancel/reschedule and phrase the message accordingly, not just tell her that I would be 30 minutes late. Your wording would have been okay if you were only 10 minutes late or something.

But your second message is just absolutely rude. I cannot imagine why you felt it necessary to send that.

iwillfghhjjj · 21/01/2025 17:44

Her response was rude. You obviously couldn't help it and making a comment about impact would only be said to make you feel bad. Why would she want to do that?

user2848502016 · 21/01/2025 17:42

I would have found your messages rude yes, no apology and instantly combative in the second one.
Mine would have been "I'm so sorry but stuck in traffic because of a broken down car, trying my best but will probably not be there until 5.30 now. Is that ok for you or do we need to reschedule?"

MassiveSalad22 · 21/01/2025 17:41

Surprised by the responses tbh. I think whether or not you were rude OP, therapist (the professional in this scenario!) was certainly rude!
I have clients who come to me for an hour appointment. If someone was in a traffic jam or late for whatever reason (trains common delay here!) then I just shrug and say ‘oh well!’. I’m still getting paid as we have a 24 hour cancellation policy so why would I be mad. If your therapist doesn’t have a cancellation policy then she’s probably mad at herself.

Zippidydoodah · 21/01/2025 17:41

Yes, very rude. You could have just said “yes, I know. I’m really sorry, but there’s not much I can do about it right now”.

fairycakes1234 · 21/01/2025 17:39

Sorry, agree it's rude and you got her back up

JC03745 · 21/01/2025 17:38

'Apologies therapist, I'm stuck in traffic due to a broken down car ahead. I think my ETA will be 30mins. I hope I can still see you for the remainder of my session time, if that is ok?'

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 21/01/2025 17:37

You might have been a bit abrupt, but I think the therapist’s response was also a bit rude.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 21/01/2025 17:37

You spoke to her quite rudely. 'I am aware' was rude, and talking about 'impact on other clients' was a bit odd or possibly entitled, because she obviously wouldn't start another client's session late just because you were late. Since she is sometimes able to go over the allocated time you might have said 'Is it possible to go over a bit, please?'
Anyway, it's all good stuff to talk about in the session. Hopefully you got enough time with her to make it worthwhile.

CurlewKate · 21/01/2025 17:37

Yes- rude. It's usual to apologise for lateness.

Clanson · 21/01/2025 17:37

I think it's missing a "sorry". I know there's nothing you can do about traffic and you needed to keep it short, but in britain I think a sorry would be more usual.

Greyish2025 · 21/01/2025 17:36

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 21/01/2025 17:19

I have therapy and a car broke down en route to the appointment.

I texted my therapist and said “hi there is a broken down vehicle. ETA is 17:30” she said “that’s nearly 30 mins late! Message me when you’re here” so u said “yes I’m aware, hence why I’m letting you know now so it doesn’t impact you or other clients. I left at 4 pm and ufortunately I can’t move through the traffic any faster then I currently am”

she then phoned me getting uppity saying it’s abrupt and her time is precious etc. I said well I can’t really text and drive so I think you’ve misinterpreted it.

thoughts?? Was I rude?

I would have apologised and asked whether I should still go seeing as your ETA was 30 mins late
Your response to her message should have been a simple ‘thanks, I will’
Yes, I think you were rude but seeing as you can’t see that I presume you are in the habit of being so

HenDoNot · 21/01/2025 17:35

A longer message might not have been safe for you to send from the vehicle

And yet the OP managed to send a much longer second message, with the word "sorry" featuring in neither message.

Notimeforaname · 21/01/2025 17:34

Yes your message was rude. You could have adressed her by her name and said sorry first.

Cherrysherbet · 21/01/2025 17:34

I would have worded it…. I’m really sorry, I’m going to be late. Stuck in traffic due to broken down vehicle. Hope that’s ok

You did sound a bit rude

Ponderingwindow · 21/01/2025 17:33

No you were not rude.

you were in traffic and sent a brief message to let her know you would be late. That is courteous.

A longer message might not have been safe for you to send from the vehicle .

her response was rude

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 21/01/2025 17:32

Is this something that happened before today (assuming so, as you couldn’t post and drive at the same time)? How did the therapist react when you eventually got there?

LIZS · 21/01/2025 17:31

Could you have called or were there clients before you? Your message was abrupt.

LostMyLanyard · 21/01/2025 17:30

Very rude! I can't actually believe that you don't know this!

Marine30 · 21/01/2025 17:30

Your time was a bit rude yes. Traffic not your fault but if knew I was running late for an appointment for whatever reason the word sorry would have featured in my text.

username299 · 21/01/2025 17:29

Yes you were rude.

biscuitsandbooks · 21/01/2025 17:27

I think you were a bit abrupt, but not rude as such.

Dueanamechange2025 · 21/01/2025 17:26

Starting any sentence with 'yes, I am aware' is rude.