Would you choose an academic boys school over an average mixed school?

The alternative would have to be quite bad before I would send any of my DC single sex.
What does your son think?

He should go to the best school available to him, which in this case appears to be the grammar. Don't hold him back because of a vague feeling that he should meet girls - there's plenty of time for that at uni, and he'll still meet girls along the way anyway.

In our area, the single sex grammars are mixed in six form.

Is your son good at sports. Guys who aren't or are a bit sensitive may struggle at all boys schools.

How will it prevent him having a normal teenage experience? Children at single sex schools still mix with the opposite sex out of school and there are usually some joint ventures with other local schools. Nowadays most single sex take the opposite sex in the sixth form anyway. That happened in my son's school so they were all with girls on an equal level from sixteen. Before that they tended to go around with a group of girls from another school. Now in their mid forties they are all still good friends and get together from time to time.

It all depends on your son. What does he want to do, will he blossom in the academic environment? Those are more relevant questions and you know him, we don't. How your son feels about it is important, presumably he's had a good look around and been interviewed at both schools. Don't push him either way, be relaxed about it.

I went to a mixed school, but I think even in a mixed school there tends to be a bit of segregation. The boys will go and play football, the girls will join the choir etc. (Yes, yes, not all, not all!)

I left school decades ago and am in touch with 3 people from my school days. Others I know who went to mixed schools are in touch with a similar number. But I have multiple friends who went to single sex schools who formed much stronger bonds with their school friends and are still in touch with dozens of school friends all these years later. I think that's lovely and not to be underestimated.

Decades ago I would have ruled out single sex schools, but actually I think there is a place for them.

But at sixth form college she says her and her friends are definitely far behind in terms of relationships etc

I’d say this is a good thing? How much relationship experience do you really want your child to have by the age of 16?

I went single sex and had very little interaction or experience with boys till university, save a little dating and the odd snog in sixth form. Didn’t stop me making male friends or having romantic relationships once at uni, and tbh I was far better equipped to handle learning the ropes of relationships at 18 than younger.

For girls at least :

Based on the adult men that I know I really don’t think mixed school = progressive and single sex = old fashioned/sexist. It’s got far more to do with the attitudes and models within their own family.

However, there was no distraction in class she says, and the girls from her school are a lot more confident in terms of the classroom

Whoops cut me off! But at sixth form college she says her and her friends are definitely far behind in terms of relationships etc.The only way a lot of girls even interacted with boys is by adding them randomly on snapchat through quick add, which opens a whole other can of worms

Send him where he’ll get the best education. If he’s academically able, I’d be sending him to the grammar school, no question.

My dd went to a girls school, but she says at sixth form

My understanding (may be out of date) is that research shows girls are better off in a girls school, but boys are better in a mixed school! From your posts it also seems that your son doesn't have sisters which would help him appreciate a female perspective.

It's a difficult decision because you are simultaneously choosing between a grammar and a comprehensive education, so it rather depends on your feelings about this divide.

I think only you can decide which school is the best fit for your son given his academic ability, his ambition/motivation, and his social opportunities. There's really no easy answer other than where you feel he will be happiest.

Depends on the school. Mine socialised well with girls, now women and are hands on fathers and husbands.

I know a few men who went to all boys' schools... just don't (private schools in general or all girls' schools I fully support). Obviously it's only based on my experience but none of the guys I know have female friends as adults and they definitely have some "old fashioned" ideas about the roles of men and women.

Let your son make the choice.

But then he may not mix with girls much at the comp either. My DS is similar- he likes sport, sport and then more sport- playing it, watching it, talking about it. I honestly don’t think he’d even notice if the school became all boys overnight. If this was a choice between two grammars then I think the balance would be different but given its grammar va comp even if I preferred coed I’d choose the grammar for an academic boy.

My two have both gone to single sex (DD grammar, DS comp). I wanted DS to go to mixed comp but DH disagreed (now regrets it) so we offered DS choice and of course at 11 he didn’t want to be with girls. I went to girls grammar. It worked well for me both an academically and socially because I had a mixed sex social life through hobbies and church. Worked out well for DD academically but socially wasn’t ideal (as she didn’t mix much outside school) but she’s getting there now at uni. Bad for DS academically and socially. But I think a boys grammar won’t have the same issues of disruptive behaviour as a boys comp so if he has (or you can create) a mixed sex social life for him then go for that. But if he’s like DS and has no social life (mixed sex or otherwise) then go for the mixed comp.