Feeling really scared about surgery tomorrow

I've only just come across this thread and I'm so glad you're well OP. I completely get the anxiety. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few days before the first lockdown. I had 2 days notice of surgery. I was absolutely beside myself. I was a lone parent to my son who was 8 at the time. I'd never had a GA surgery before but everybody was absolutely amazing and reassuring and actually managed to put me out while I was panic talking on the table 🤣.

I hope that this thread brings reassurance to anybody in the same position! Wishing you a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹

I am so delighted to read this. I'm so glad you're doing well. Sending love

How are you feeling today?
Follow all instructions, whatever they are - for various things I've been advised to walk about, to rest, stay hydrated, sit with feet elevated...
🤗

I had open heart surgery 10 years ago. I didn't think about it too much. All fine and in retrospect we just have to trust the amazing surgeon, anaesthetists and doctors who know what they're doing, good luck, you'll be fine, it's all in a days work for them. X

I've just had a mastectomy. It honestly was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. Just the staying in hospital and the drains to cart around irritated me. But honestly I worried over nothing

Great news, OP- wishing you all the best for your recovery.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, OP.

This is your brain looking out for you and trying to protect you, because through millions of years of evolution the best way to stay safe has always been to avoid allowing stuff like this to be done to you. The parts of your brain that generate the fear are a lot older than the parts that understand surgery and anaesthesia. Be kind to the scared part of you, it's trying to help.

It's a big thing but this operation is the first step of making you well again. Try to view it as a positive thing.

You'll have the op to fix whatever it is that needs fixing. You'll have your recovery time. Then after 1 month it should all be done and you'll feel much better.

Your DH and children will manage. Take each day at a time and focus on your health.

Any type of surgery freaks me out completely....so I understand your fears. Sending you the biggest of hugs 🫂💐❤️

Have you had a very frank discussion with your husband and your eldest, letting them know you will need help? That you expect them to step up and support you?

I had spinal surgery a few years ago. I was really scared but was putting on a brave face and told my husband he didn't need to wait at the hospital etc. I really regretted that as I was sat there in the room on my own waiting to go through. I'd recommend having someone with you to take your mind off it.

If there's anything specific scaring you, ask the consultant/surgeon about it so they can explain it - often understanding it helps you to feel more reassured.

Good luck!

OP I was in a similar situation when my children were very young. I was petrified I was going to die and they'd be left without a Mum. The anaesthetist came to see me because the nurse was very worried about my blood pressure. We had a chat about what was worrying me, he gave me a sedative, and then told me that he would make sure I didn't die in theatre because 'the paperwork is a nightmare'! I went down to theatre chuckling! Try not to worry - they really will take good care of you.

I've had a few major ops and before one was utterly terrified that I was going to die, I was shaking so much going into theatre they couldn't get the canula needle near my skin.

Honestly, as others have said, tell your medical team - and the theatre team when you get there - how you're feeling. They've seen it a hundred times if they have once and the nurses in particular are fantastic for calming you down.

Having a big cry to let it all might help as well, sometimes we just need to let the emotion out in order to move on.

It's frightening knowing you have know control over what's going to happen, but the theatre team train for decades and never stop learning. You are, and will be, in the best of hands and you're going to be fine.

I've had a couple of operations and was also incredibly anxious beforehand.
Can anyone come with you to hospital and stay with you?
I tried (admittedly unsuccessfully) to distract myself with music, magazines, puzzle books etc.
Also tried to box breathing and bachs remedies.
The staff at the hospital were very reassuring and understanding.
You will be fine, it will be OK.
Good luck

I had a 10 hour breast reconstruction surgery a few years ago. I was utterly petrified and a complete mess. I was scared of everything and as they wheeled me down, my legs were going bananas on the bed. I was proper losing it.

However, I then needed another surgery 5 months later and was laughing and joking with the team, because what I realised was, it was all going to be fine. I was in great hands, and I woke up from the big one feeling like I'd had the best sleep and I was so well taken care of.

It will be the same for you. They will know you're anxious but focus on the outcome and your recovery and trust that you will be absolutely fine.

It’s not as bad as you think it will be.

Ive had a few surgeries. Eye muscle surgery (not laser eye) under general. A c section under general. An epidural c section. Wisdom teeth, mole removals…

it’s normal to feel nervous but afterwards you look back and it’s not been half as bad as you had feared. Definitely breathing exercises helped me.

Make a plan for after I know it sounds strange and you probably won't even remember but even watching a certain program , I find it distracts the actual day and makes you realise that you will be there doing things after

I don't know if this will help you but I weirdly quite enjoy having surgery/anaesthetic. I've always felt really well looked after and surrounded by experts looking out for me. I get to rest and be looked after. I quite enjoy the experience of going to sleep and waking up instantly (even though hours have passed) and its all over.

Make sure you stay on top of pain relief and don't try to do too much too soon.

In the meantime, can you distract yourself with easy TV like Friends or something? That's helps me when I'm anxious.

You’re not alone. I had major abdominal surgery last year and was absolutely petrified beforehand. I genuinely believed I was going to die on the table. The surgeon and anaesthetist couldn’t have been more reassuring, and in the end the whole thing was absolutely fine. Hang in there - when it’s over you will feel so proud of yourself for getting through it!

Just take it easy when you get back home, normal life can wait until you're feeling up to it

Yep. I had surgery early last month and I was so anxious and stressed over it. I've had surgery once before when I was younger but I think I found it harder this time because I have children now and I kept worrying about how they'd lose their mum if anything went wrong. Totally catastrophising. On a smaller scale I was worried about not being able to pick up my one year old during the recovery period. In the end it was totally fine and recovery was much easier than expected.

You'll be okay OP, I know it's hard but try not to worry too much. It'll be great to have the surgery part behind you after tomorrow.