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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have objected to ‘prayers’ at work

587 replies

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 13:56

Will try to keep this brief… Work in a team of 12, 6 in U.K. and 6 in USA ( mid-west) and once a week we have a team meeting that we take turns in running.

Tomorrow is the turn of A. A is a Republican, church goer, voted Trump because she wanted, quote ‘More money in my pocket book and illegals dealt with’.
So far so MAGA. This came up pre-election as she’s the only Trump fan on the team and was open about it.

On the agenda for the meeting is ‘Prayer’ as point one. I pinged manager a note saying what?? A thinks it would be nice to start off with a prayer. As a team. I have asked for it to be OFF the agenda. US manager thinks it’s ‘harmless’ but has said will clarify.

AIBU to think it’s totally inappropriate??? I’m an atheist for a start, most of my U.K. team are the same or at least agnostic.

Seems weird that she’s never tried this before, but suddenly Trump ‘god saved me to MAGA’ is inaugurated and a team prayer is in the agenda.
We are a large global company, BTW, not some local mom & pop outfit that sells bibles…

YANBU - work is secular. She keeps her views and prayers to herself own time.

YABU - lighten up, what harm can it do.

OP posts:
Pieceofpurplesky · 21/01/2025 19:23

Agree. Then on the next agenda get a Wikkan spell for removing negative energy.

Whenwillglorioussummercome · 21/01/2025 19:21

bridgetreilly · 21/01/2025 18:50

That’s because we have an established church and parliament is constitutionally linked to it. Secular business places are an entirely different kettle of fish.

This isn’t really accurate. There are various links between the Church of England and Parliament but nothing that makes the Commons connected in a way that requires prayers. If anything, it exercises oversight over the Church in a number of ways; they are not accountable to it. The Lords contains the Lords Spiritual, ie a number of senior clergy, but that doesn’t render the Lords any sort of religious body as a whole, that would be regarded as non-secular.

Livelovebehappy · 21/01/2025 19:21

CulturalNomad · 21/01/2025 19:04

I'm American and work for a US company. This is insanely inappropriate and not at all a common/accepted business practice in America

It's also not legal in the US.

But it's a good story and there's nothing MN likes better than a good froth about those awful, awful Americans.

I believe it was last night that a thread was started claiming that an American school was forcing teen boys and girls to shower together at school.

"There's a sucker born every minute" - P.T. Barnum

Not sure it’s a dig against Americans tbh, more likely the OP is anti-Trump, so is introducing an irrelevant piece of information about her Trump supporting colleague to point out that not only is the lady wanting prayers said, but also she’s a Trump supporter to boot. Prayers aren’t exclusive to Americans. Quite often here in school assemblies, and before formal meals etc, we also will pray, so definitely not something to bash Americans over. I love America btw.

Applesandpears23 · 21/01/2025 19:18

If it goes ahead you could put a 5 minute talk on benefits of DEI or similar on agenda next time!

FairDuck · 21/01/2025 19:17

I have worked in a church as administrator and we had a prayer at the start and end of every meeting but it was expected. When I started in Girl Guiding in 1970s we opened District meetings with a prayer but over the years it became more of a Thought for the Day. I do remember leading a meeting the day after a major disaster (the kind that makes you go home, hug your kids and be thankful they were not in a certain place at a certain time). I opened the meeting by saying 'I know people have a lot to discuss today, I know there differing opinions but let's keep a sense of proportion after yesterday? It was the most civilised meeting I ever attended.

Livelovebehappy · 21/01/2025 19:14

MissionBiscuits · 21/01/2025 18:42

When it comes to American evangelicals, their political leanings are very much not irrelevant to their religious beliefs. For an awful lot being a Christian and being a Republican are one and the same.

But unless it’s linked in the prayer itself, ie ‘thank you Lord for giving us President Trump’, whether she aligns her religious beliefs to her political leaning is totally irrelevant. In her head she might closely link it, but I would imagine politics isn’t going to be brought into her prayers.

mitogoshigg · 21/01/2025 19:10

A regular meeting? Completely inappropriate unless you work where I do, it's a church consequently it's fine Grin

It is also acceptable to have a short prayer at larger gatherings eg I've experienced them at conferences (not religious conferences) and also things like formal meals starting with grace isn't that unusual eg military functions

Preciousmoments18 · 21/01/2025 19:10

GreenYellowBrown · 21/01/2025 19:09

Who’s MAGA?

WRT the prayer, I would definitely 🙄 🙄 as I don’t believe in all that. However, I don’t have a problem with believers and would happily wait quietly whilst they prayed. If they’re happy to respect that I don’t believe, then I’m happy to respect the fact that they do believe.

MAGA... Make America great again

Agree with your sentiments. If I was a non believer I'd sit quietly,wait it out & move on.

GreenYellowBrown · 21/01/2025 19:09

Who’s MAGA?

WRT the prayer, I would definitely 🙄 🙄 as I don’t believe in all that. However, I don’t have a problem with believers and would happily wait quietly whilst they prayed. If they’re happy to respect that I don’t believe, then I’m happy to respect the fact that they do believe.

RampantIvy · 21/01/2025 19:04

If this does get approved is it possible to set the prayer time a few minutes before the official meeting time, so that people can join in or not?

Or, can you just mute yourself and not switch your camera on until the actual meeting starts?

CulturalNomad · 21/01/2025 19:04

I'm American and work for a US company. This is insanely inappropriate and not at all a common/accepted business practice in America

It's also not legal in the US.

But it's a good story and there's nothing MN likes better than a good froth about those awful, awful Americans.

I believe it was last night that a thread was started claiming that an American school was forcing teen boys and girls to shower together at school.

"There's a sucker born every minute" - P.T. Barnum

DownwardDuck · 21/01/2025 19:01

It will be

"lets pray for our brothers and sisters displaced by the LA wildfires"
"and let us be thankful for blah di blah blah"

Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles · 21/01/2025 19:00

I’m a prayerful Christian and that woman sounds insane. Totally inappropriate.

Preciousmoments18 · 21/01/2025 18:59

My Christian Grandparents prayed before every evening meal. My parents were regular church attenders & as far as I am aware my father prayed privately in his bedroom before bed. Although it's not something I do before meals etc I find saying a prayer when I am stressed or worried relaxes me & I feel better afterwards.

To be fair it wouldn't bother me if this was suggested although I would never expect athiest work colleagues to agree and personally would never suggest it in a work situation regardless of them having faith or no faith.

Grammarnut · 21/01/2025 18:56

bridgetreilly · 21/01/2025 18:50

That’s because we have an established church and parliament is constitutionally linked to it. Secular business places are an entirely different kettle of fish.

Yes, I know. I didn't say business places should have prayers - it's entirely inappropriate.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2025 18:55

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 21/01/2025 14:17

I think you should advise your US manager that they're at risk of breaching UK law if they allow this.

That's going to play right into Musk’s narrative about Britain isn't it? Not that I think that's a bad thing at all! 🙄

I would not be happy at all if this happened at work.

Lavenderflower · 21/01/2025 18:55

It very inappropriate but I think this may be norm for certain parts of America - They take religion seriously.

FaithFables · 21/01/2025 18:52

Fartypants83 · 21/01/2025 15:50

Most people aren't atheists and don't agree belief can be split from their being, whether in the workplace or not. People can't leave thier beliefs or philosophies at the door.

Just go along with it and then move on if you don't like it.

Hmm according to the last census, 37.2% of people in the UK are either atheist or agnostic.

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 18:52

Beesandhoney123 · 21/01/2025 18:48

I can't imagine that being on an agenda at work. How long a prayer is it?

I would be tempted to question what was the meeting about a prayer was needed- is it about payrises?:)

I would call in after the prayers. It's a slippery slope.

I don’t know! When we lead the meeting we set our own rough agenda, so there’s always a few standard things we do - go over the figures etc but the rest is up to the individual.
Sometimes it’s ‘themed’ around the time of year, eg a Xmas quiz thrown in etc

Still no word from mgr - I’m about done with work for evening, so I’ll keep an eye out tomoz.

OP posts:
AvidAunt · 21/01/2025 18:51

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 13:56

Will try to keep this brief… Work in a team of 12, 6 in U.K. and 6 in USA ( mid-west) and once a week we have a team meeting that we take turns in running.

Tomorrow is the turn of A. A is a Republican, church goer, voted Trump because she wanted, quote ‘More money in my pocket book and illegals dealt with’.
So far so MAGA. This came up pre-election as she’s the only Trump fan on the team and was open about it.

On the agenda for the meeting is ‘Prayer’ as point one. I pinged manager a note saying what?? A thinks it would be nice to start off with a prayer. As a team. I have asked for it to be OFF the agenda. US manager thinks it’s ‘harmless’ but has said will clarify.

AIBU to think it’s totally inappropriate??? I’m an atheist for a start, most of my U.K. team are the same or at least agnostic.

Seems weird that she’s never tried this before, but suddenly Trump ‘god saved me to MAGA’ is inaugurated and a team prayer is in the agenda.
We are a large global company, BTW, not some local mom & pop outfit that sells bibles…

YANBU - work is secular. She keeps her views and prayers to herself own time.

YABU - lighten up, what harm can it do.

I'm American and work for a US company. This is insanely inappropriate and not at all a common/accepted business practice in America! I would be so uncomfortable with this; A is totally in the wrong.

bridgetreilly · 21/01/2025 18:50

Grammarnut · 21/01/2025 15:16

Unless it's Parliament. They start with prayers.

That’s because we have an established church and parliament is constitutionally linked to it. Secular business places are an entirely different kettle of fish.

Beesandhoney123 · 21/01/2025 18:48

I can't imagine that being on an agenda at work. How long a prayer is it?

I would be tempted to question what was the meeting about a prayer was needed- is it about payrises?:)

I would call in after the prayers. It's a slippery slope.

TyrannasaurusJex · 21/01/2025 18:48

You know every day in the House of Commons starts with time for prayer? MPs who attend can reserve their seat for the whole day, so on days when parliament is busy, non-religous MPs are literally left standing (there are more MPs than seats) and won't be called on to speak. Utterly ridiculous in this day and age, in a majority non-religous country that this still happens at the highest level of power. The grip that religion still has in secular places of work never ceases to baffle me.

tootiredtoocare · 21/01/2025 18:48

When it's your turn, add a Wicca prayer into the agenda.

Punk4ssBookJockey · 21/01/2025 18:48

Sometimes it doesn't really matter if the OP is completely truthful (or just posting a completely hypothetical 'problem'), it's still important to share opinions because situations similar to the OP's story do happen. In this case there is apparently a need to explain to some people why organised prayer has no place in a work environment.