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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have objected to ‘prayers’ at work

587 replies

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 13:56

Will try to keep this brief… Work in a team of 12, 6 in U.K. and 6 in USA ( mid-west) and once a week we have a team meeting that we take turns in running.

Tomorrow is the turn of A. A is a Republican, church goer, voted Trump because she wanted, quote ‘More money in my pocket book and illegals dealt with’.
So far so MAGA. This came up pre-election as she’s the only Trump fan on the team and was open about it.

On the agenda for the meeting is ‘Prayer’ as point one. I pinged manager a note saying what?? A thinks it would be nice to start off with a prayer. As a team. I have asked for it to be OFF the agenda. US manager thinks it’s ‘harmless’ but has said will clarify.

AIBU to think it’s totally inappropriate??? I’m an atheist for a start, most of my U.K. team are the same or at least agnostic.

Seems weird that she’s never tried this before, but suddenly Trump ‘god saved me to MAGA’ is inaugurated and a team prayer is in the agenda.
We are a large global company, BTW, not some local mom & pop outfit that sells bibles…

YANBU - work is secular. She keeps her views and prayers to herself own time.

YABU - lighten up, what harm can it do.

OP posts:
shuggles · 21/01/2025 21:21

ruethewhirl · 21/01/2025 21:11

Well, you found the time to post a jibe about it...

Weird comment. I don't get annoyed about public displays of religion, but I do get annoyed with people who have such carefree lives that they take issue with trivial things. I don't see where the inconsistency is.

MrsPeregrine · 21/01/2025 21:20

For what it’s worth, my mother-in-law says she is a Christian. I can remember going round her house years ago for Sunday dinner with my husband, and other in-laws and she led a prayer at the dinner table before we ate. It happened on at least one occasion, if not more. I am not religious and had to sit through it. She is most definitely left-wing in her beliefs. I know because she’s preached about enough times. She’s also a total hypocrite because she lies, has been unkind to me on numerous occasions and also cheated on my father-in-law. This thread is just intended to have a go at people who don’t vote for left-wing political parties.

its2025allofasudden · 21/01/2025 21:19

Teaching job 1. I taught in a Church secondary school. Prayer at end of day with children was ok. Everyone expected it but teaching a practical subject with a deal of packing away meant they were some time forgotten.

But as staff we also had our week of starting the daily staff briefing. First 2 heads - fine. 3rd head less so. Upset a lot of people with her antics and bullying behaviour despite a pious exterior.

So we had Prayer Wars. Prayers with pointed messages. Didn’t change much but it made one, and others in the know, feel a bit better.

KIlliePieMyOhMy · 21/01/2025 21:18

I used to work for a Church of England organisation and be married to a vicar.
I'm now rather an atheist. Let her have her prayers, sit quietly and remember red wine in a mug is usually the answer. Helps the illusion if you blow on it.

rollon25again · 21/01/2025 21:18

You should explain that this is awkward and discriminatory towards non Christian staff.
This

SerendipityJane · 21/01/2025 21:16

KIlliePieMyOhMy · 21/01/2025 21:11

Matthew 6 5 - 6

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

That should apply to all religions.

I love the King James Bible. Ever quoteworthy.

Jesus wept.

Preciousmoments18 · 21/01/2025 21:14

ClairDeLaLune · 21/01/2025 21:05

By the way, I’m a Christian and would never dream of suggesting prayers at work, it’s completely inappropriate. Oh and I’m a socialist too. Like Jesus!

But are you followed by billions of people today throughout the world 😅
It's a choice & not something to impose on people before meetings, especially if they are athiest or uncomfortable in the situation.

TiredArse · 21/01/2025 21:13

Unless you work for a religious organisation then prayers aren’t appropriate in a meeting.

Whenwillglorioussummercome · 21/01/2025 21:11

shuggles · 21/01/2025 21:02

@Whenwillglorioussummercome Praying in a work meeting is creating a situation that could cause distress or discrimination.

I wish my life so easy and care-free that the thing that causes me most distress is someone else praying.

Who are you to judge why someone might find someone else performing religion distressing?

ruethewhirl · 21/01/2025 21:11

shuggles · 21/01/2025 21:02

@Whenwillglorioussummercome Praying in a work meeting is creating a situation that could cause distress or discrimination.

I wish my life so easy and care-free that the thing that causes me most distress is someone else praying.

Well, you found the time to post a jibe about it...

KIlliePieMyOhMy · 21/01/2025 21:11

Matthew 6 5 - 6

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

MrsPeregrine · 21/01/2025 21:10

ClairDeLaLune · 21/01/2025 21:03

Tell her Jesus was a socialist (which he was) and that right wing politics aren’t compatible with Christianity.

How very un-Christian of you 🙄

Pluvia · 21/01/2025 21:09

Thisisnotmyid · 21/01/2025 14:54

I’m a practising catholic and this is not on. Personal faith does not belong in the workplace and it definitely doesn’t belong on a teams meeting! Tell her jump and see if the Don catches her

This.

Nanny0gg · 21/01/2025 21:06

Wherehavetheyallgone · 21/01/2025 20:34

We used to have team meetings where the manager played a piece of music as people arrived, or read a poem as as the first agenda item.

Wasn't my favourite way to liven up a meeting (imo a biscuit is plenty!). But fairly inoffensive. Could you suggest this as an alternative?

How excruciatingly embarrassing!

ClairDeLaLune · 21/01/2025 21:05

By the way, I’m a Christian and would never dream of suggesting prayers at work, it’s completely inappropriate. Oh and I’m a socialist too. Like Jesus!

SerendipityJane · 21/01/2025 21:04

Lavenderflower · 21/01/2025 18:55

It very inappropriate but I think this may be norm for certain parts of America - They take religion seriously.

Not seriously enough to follow it though.

ClairDeLaLune · 21/01/2025 21:03

Tell her Jesus was a socialist (which he was) and that right wing politics aren’t compatible with Christianity.

shuggles · 21/01/2025 21:02

@Whenwillglorioussummercome Praying in a work meeting is creating a situation that could cause distress or discrimination.

I wish my life so easy and care-free that the thing that causes me most distress is someone else praying.

Whenwillglorioussummercome · 21/01/2025 21:00

shuggles · 21/01/2025 20:47

@Hotflushesandchilblains are you always so rude?

Who was rude?

The phrase is usually extrapolated to thinking about the limits of religious influence, with the view that religion should not impinge on daily life or how you are treated. Since this is a workplace, this is an impingement. The right not to have other beliefs imposed on us is vital, but being eroded.

There was no impingement, and no beliefs were imposed on anyone. A woman asked to say a prayer during a meeting, which is not imposing anything on anyone, not any moreso than a charity leaflet is imposing on your right to not donate anything to charity.

Second, separation of church and state is not about religion not impinging on daily life. It's about ensuring that one religion is not treated favourably by the state above other religions, and that people of all faiths and none are viewed equally by the government and law. It has absolutely nothing to do with people saying prayers in the workplace at a private company.

Praying in a work meeting is creating a situation that could cause distress or discrimination. An employer should be aware of this and the potential consequences - most would not allow it to happen as a result.

Preciousmoments18 · 21/01/2025 21:00

Preciousmoments18 · 21/01/2025 20:47

May I ask if it's compulsory to be there during the opening prayers in Parliament & if so what happens if non-believers refuse? Also do opening prayers happen every day or only on certain occasions? I never knew this happened so I find it interesting.

Meant to add:

In the house of commons is it the Speaker who leads the opening prayer & what happens if the speaker is a non believer? I have a feeling that wouldn't be the case though if past Speakers are anything to go by. All very interesting.

@whenwillglorioussummercome
I missed the posts about this,thanks for making it clearer

Whenwillglorioussummercome · 21/01/2025 20:59

Preciousmoments18 · 21/01/2025 20:47

May I ask if it's compulsory to be there during the opening prayers in Parliament & if so what happens if non-believers refuse? Also do opening prayers happen every day or only on certain occasions? I never knew this happened so I find it interesting.

It’s been raised several times through this thread.

It’s voluntary, happens at the start of every sitting of both House, but if you don’t sit through prayers you stand less chance of a good seat, or indeed any seat, so there is a disadvantage to not attending. You can attend and not join in, by staying silent or facing the walls.

shuggles · 21/01/2025 20:56

@RedHelenB In a separate prayer room? Or actually in the office?

I've seen Muslim coworkers pray in the office a few times.

No one gives a shit, because I'm a normal person who has actual problems to worry about. I would understand that if people have lots of free time, then they might pretend to be annoyed about it.

RedHelenB · 21/01/2025 20:54

shuggles · 21/01/2025 20:49

@Azandme Freedom of religion DOES include freedom from religion.

To a point. It means you are free not to go to church, but it doesn't mean you're allowed to get your panties into a twist over (for example) a muslim colleague praying in your office.

In a separate prayer room? Or actually in the office?

shuggles · 21/01/2025 20:53

@MissionBiscuits I see the point you're trying to make, but for starters Democrats aren't known for trying to force their religious beliefs on others,

Well I'm sure Mike Pence would say a prayer in this context, but he's anti-Trump and voted for Harris. That's just one example out of the 75 million people who voted Democrat at the last US election. For you to say that every single Democrat voter is the type of person who doesn't preach or pray in public is you just making things up.

DangerPigeon · 21/01/2025 20:50

Schleep · 21/01/2025 20:49

Religion has no place in work, politics or education.

Just like having a penis, its fine to have one - its not fine to get it out in public and wave it around.

I very much hope that's the reasoning the OP gives if it comes up for discussion in the meeting