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AIBU?

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To have objected to ‘prayers’ at work

587 replies

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 13:56

Will try to keep this brief… Work in a team of 12, 6 in U.K. and 6 in USA ( mid-west) and once a week we have a team meeting that we take turns in running.

Tomorrow is the turn of A. A is a Republican, church goer, voted Trump because she wanted, quote ‘More money in my pocket book and illegals dealt with’.
So far so MAGA. This came up pre-election as she’s the only Trump fan on the team and was open about it.

On the agenda for the meeting is ‘Prayer’ as point one. I pinged manager a note saying what?? A thinks it would be nice to start off with a prayer. As a team. I have asked for it to be OFF the agenda. US manager thinks it’s ‘harmless’ but has said will clarify.

AIBU to think it’s totally inappropriate??? I’m an atheist for a start, most of my U.K. team are the same or at least agnostic.

Seems weird that she’s never tried this before, but suddenly Trump ‘god saved me to MAGA’ is inaugurated and a team prayer is in the agenda.
We are a large global company, BTW, not some local mom & pop outfit that sells bibles…

YANBU - work is secular. She keeps her views and prayers to herself own time.

YABU - lighten up, what harm can it do.

OP posts:
Mulberry974 · 21/01/2025 23:02

I'm a Christian but find this a bit mad and intrusive. But then I'm British and don't assume everyone shares my faith.

DogPawsMud · 21/01/2025 22:58

I would ask to say a prayer for all displaced people, refugees and those now fearing deportation from the place they call home.

MissConductUS · 21/01/2025 22:58

Pence also declined to endorse Trump, so he may not have cast a vote for either.

MissionBiscuits · 21/01/2025 22:45

shuggles · 21/01/2025 20:53

@MissionBiscuits I see the point you're trying to make, but for starters Democrats aren't known for trying to force their religious beliefs on others,

Well I'm sure Mike Pence would say a prayer in this context, but he's anti-Trump and voted for Harris. That's just one example out of the 75 million people who voted Democrat at the last US election. For you to say that every single Democrat voter is the type of person who doesn't preach or pray in public is you just making things up.

Would that the same Mike Pence (lifelong Republican and former VP to Trump) who said he was conservative through and through and would categorically NOT be voting for Harris? Try again.

Whatzzitz · 21/01/2025 22:44

Totally inappropriate however I’m not sure I could resist praying for something crazy like Brad Pitt.

travellinglighter · 21/01/2025 22:43

Fartypants83 · 21/01/2025 15:50

Most people aren't atheists and don't agree belief can be split from their being, whether in the workplace or not. People can't leave thier beliefs or philosophies at the door.

Just go along with it and then move on if you don't like it.

It's near run thing though and Christians in the uk are outnumbered by those of other faiths and no faith outnumber them by a significant percentage. Given that less than 10% of the population actually go to church I suspect that there is a huge percentage of people who claim to be christian are christian in name only.

healthybychristmas · 21/01/2025 22:36

Did she make more money when he was in last time? Genuine question because I would've thought the answer would be no but it would be interesting to know what she said about that.

CrowleyKitten · 21/01/2025 22:36

KIlliePieMyOhMy · 21/01/2025 21:11

Matthew 6 5 - 6

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

that's the one!

HorrorFan81 · 21/01/2025 22:33

Mischance · 21/01/2025 22:32

Just say that you wish to absent yourself from the meeting for the prayer item and could someone please let you know when it is over so you can return for the rest of the meeting.

I'd do this too

Mischance · 21/01/2025 22:32

Just say that you wish to absent yourself from the meeting for the prayer item and could someone please let you know when it is over so you can return for the rest of the meeting.

Pluvia · 21/01/2025 22:30

SinnerBoy · 21/01/2025 21:40

shuggles · Today 20:47

There was no impingement, and no beliefs were imposed on anyone. A woman asked to say a prayer during a meeting, which is not imposing anything on anyone

Yes, it absolutely is an imposition to demand that other people join her in thanking an imaginary being for getting a sex offender elected. It's an imposition to demand that people join in in fantasy conversations with imaginary beings for any reason.

It's more than an imposition. Under the Equality Act belief and non-belief are both protected and anyone whose behaviour could be interpreted as seeking to impose their religious beliefs on anyone of another faith (or none) could be accused of discrimination.

BlueMum16 · 21/01/2025 22:29

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 20:04

I do like her! In small. Long distance, meet in person 2/3 x a year kind of way. Though Pastafarian is bloody genius!

Any prayers, for any religion, should be outside of a meeting.

Join the meeting and then drop off again and ask to be notified when the meeting starts proper.

This isn't about her faith or her politics. It shouldn't be in a workplace unless it was a Diversity and Inclusion session which I believe Trump is stopping anyway.

CrowleyKitten · 21/01/2025 22:28

shuggles · 21/01/2025 20:56

@RedHelenB In a separate prayer room? Or actually in the office?

I've seen Muslim coworkers pray in the office a few times.

No one gives a shit, because I'm a normal person who has actual problems to worry about. I would understand that if people have lots of free time, then they might pretend to be annoyed about it.

Edited

yeah, it's not like they're expecting anyone else to stop working while they do it, or join in. that's a requirement of their religion, that is being allowed for by employers, and not impacting anyone else as long as it doesn't take too much time out of their working day.

CrowleyKitten · 21/01/2025 22:20

Gonners · 21/01/2025 20:19

If that were the case, it would surely be the end of churches? 😉

I dunno. I'd say that can still be considered private, as everyone is there for the same purpose. it's more about the praying to be SEEN to be praying if that makes sense.
I'm Pagan, and have taken part in group rituals, but wouldn't just do them out in the open in a preachy way. because it's my path. with others on the same path, it's not the same as me announcing, right, now I'm going to bless this meal in front of everyone, look how holy I am.

EarthSight · 21/01/2025 22:15

RedHelenB · 21/01/2025 20:19

I'd be so tempted to take the piss, with a load of Amen Sister and Hallelujahs.

Love your thinking.

Like she could really go to town with this if she can keep a straight face. Closed eyes and a bit of swaying maybe? 😂

GeneralPeter · 21/01/2025 22:14

@FadedRed

A friend of mine once had a job where all meetings started with prayers, but she was PA to an Archbishop, so not unreasonable really.

That would make an amazing drip-feed.

Gonners · 21/01/2025 21:45

jillycat72 · 21/01/2025 21:34

Many years ago I worked for an American company. Each day the managers went off to a meeting called morning prayers. I remember thinking have I joined some weird cult! 😂 I later had to go to cover morning prayers it was just a clinical reporting meeting. The actual prayers had been dropped as soon as the American boss had left!

I worked for many years for a long-established firm of City solicitors: the early morning meeting was referred to as "partners' prayers". No actual praying was involved!

SinnerBoy · 21/01/2025 21:40

shuggles · Today 20:47

There was no impingement, and no beliefs were imposed on anyone. A woman asked to say a prayer during a meeting, which is not imposing anything on anyone

Yes, it absolutely is an imposition to demand that other people join her in thanking an imaginary being for getting a sex offender elected. It's an imposition to demand that people join in in fantasy conversations with imaginary beings for any reason.

jillycat72 · 21/01/2025 21:34

Many years ago I worked for an American company. Each day the managers went off to a meeting called morning prayers. I remember thinking have I joined some weird cult! 😂 I later had to go to cover morning prayers it was just a clinical reporting meeting. The actual prayers had been dropped as soon as the American boss had left!

nervousnellylikesjaffacakes · 21/01/2025 21:29

I'm american and fairly often perform senior HR functions for a US company. I would be shocked to have anyone bring this up. There are so many things wrong with this. The individual suggesting the prayer time needs HR training ASAP. Suggesting this could result in people feeling discriminated against based on grounds of religion, and people who decline could feel that future events trigger concerns of retaliation for non joining in. Leadership needs to take a strong line against that for the good of the company. I'm sure the person in question is just very religious and wanted to include people in their lifestyle choices, but no, this is simply not an ok suggestion.

Whenwillglorioussummercome · 21/01/2025 21:28

shuggles · 21/01/2025 21:21

Weird comment. I don't get annoyed about public displays of religion, but I do get annoyed with people who have such carefree lives that they take issue with trivial things. I don't see where the inconsistency is.

Can you not imagine any circumstances where this might not be trivial? Because many of us can.

KIlliePieMyOhMy · 21/01/2025 21:27

shuggles · 21/01/2025 21:22

That's not the King James Bible. The King James Bible is the "ye olde Englishe" version which the Americans love because that type of English sounds holy to them.

Edited

New International I would think.

its2025allofasudden · 21/01/2025 21:25

Teaching job 2. Secular secondary comprehensive. Technically there should be a collective act of worship every day.

Laws written in different times.

School was approx 66% white, few of any faith. 25% Muslim, mainly male, 10% Hindu. So whatever I did it stood a fair chance of upsetting someone.

I did a thought for the day/quick discussion/chat about events in the news.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 21/01/2025 21:24

shuggles · 21/01/2025 21:22

That's not the King James Bible. The King James Bible is the "ye olde Englishe" version which the Americans love because that type of English sounds holy to them.

Edited

The King James Version of that verse is much better - prayers should be in the closet

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

shuggles · 21/01/2025 21:22

SerendipityJane · 21/01/2025 21:16

That should apply to all religions.

I love the King James Bible. Ever quoteworthy.

Jesus wept.

That's not the King James Bible. The King James Bible is the "ye olde Englishe" version which the Americans love because that type of English sounds holy to them.