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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have objected to ‘prayers’ at work

587 replies

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 13:56

Will try to keep this brief… Work in a team of 12, 6 in U.K. and 6 in USA ( mid-west) and once a week we have a team meeting that we take turns in running.

Tomorrow is the turn of A. A is a Republican, church goer, voted Trump because she wanted, quote ‘More money in my pocket book and illegals dealt with’.
So far so MAGA. This came up pre-election as she’s the only Trump fan on the team and was open about it.

On the agenda for the meeting is ‘Prayer’ as point one. I pinged manager a note saying what?? A thinks it would be nice to start off with a prayer. As a team. I have asked for it to be OFF the agenda. US manager thinks it’s ‘harmless’ but has said will clarify.

AIBU to think it’s totally inappropriate??? I’m an atheist for a start, most of my U.K. team are the same or at least agnostic.

Seems weird that she’s never tried this before, but suddenly Trump ‘god saved me to MAGA’ is inaugurated and a team prayer is in the agenda.
We are a large global company, BTW, not some local mom & pop outfit that sells bibles…

YANBU - work is secular. She keeps her views and prayers to herself own time.

YABU - lighten up, what harm can it do.

OP posts:
OolongTeaDrinker · 21/01/2025 14:35

I agree with prayer being inappropriate in a work setting, however the political views of your colleague are irrelevant and you could find yourself in trouble if you are so overtly disparaging about them to the colleague herself or to other work-mates.

Flustration · 21/01/2025 14:35

Religion aside, what does 'Prayer' even have to do with the meeting? Is it supposed to be a sort of ice breaker?

Suggest replacing it with something that would go down better with the UK team such as "Discuss Weather" or "Is Your Central Heating On"

Stressedoutmum6274 · 21/01/2025 14:35

Religion should not be taken into work regardless of your faith. You are there for one thing and thats to do a job.

ChicLilacSeal · 21/01/2025 14:35

I work on the East Coast and this would never fly, but our satellite offices in red states are full of religion. They send us lots of blessings via email! Never been in a meeting with any of them, though.

Can't people who aren't said religion just not join in with the prayers? The religious stuff is very culturally powerful in certain parts of the States, so you might find yourself in an uphill battle if the company is based in a red state and owned by red state people.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 21/01/2025 14:35

Go full tilt! Get a prayer mat... incense ball thing - swing it about... get some chanting going on in the background... light some candles.. get those bead things.. maybe you could self-flagellate...

FoxtonFoxton · 21/01/2025 14:34

Ask them to stick the prayer on the end if they must (ridiculously) do it. At least then you can click off and leave as it starts and won't miss any of the essential work parts of the call. I wouldn't pray as I'm not religious and I'd be a massive hypocrite joining in. You are entitled to say that.

anonhop · 21/01/2025 14:34

This is more normal in America so I'd politely decline but not go off too harshly as that's a part of their culture. Lots of Americans pray/ want prayer in general life even if they don't actually believe themselves. It's as much a cultural thing as religious for them. But of course you shouldn't be pressured to take part!! Ask if you can join 5 mins later x

fashionqueen0123 · 21/01/2025 14:34

OldTinHat · 21/01/2025 14:23

This has reminded me of something a friend recounted. He worked across the US for years, many different states. His own business, sold to many large companies.

He never got over being invited to join managers' families to go to church on a Sunday and share lunch with the 'community' afterwards. Then, the children would be sent off to play whilst the adults watched porn. Absolutely true story.

Complete hypocrisy.

Tell your colleague and your manager a big fat NO! You won't be participating in that part of the agenda but will join in when that is over.

Even in schools, pupils don't have to attend religious services that don't align with their beliefs.

Unbelievable!

Wtf!

Chikapowwow · 21/01/2025 14:34

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 14:19

US HQ but global offices… I’d love to see someone try to add this to a German team meeting 🤣🤣

Hmm, I worked for a Swiss German company and we kissed each other before meetings! I think I'd rather pray than air kiss the whole bloody office

Gcsunnyside23 · 21/01/2025 14:32

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 14:29

Well, it’s a video call so I suppose I sit there and listen to her thank god for Trump or whatever the hell she wants to pray about????

Id let her then tell her it's your turn and start a pagan prayer or prayer from another religion. Hate people thrusting religion down others throats

Jeezitneverends · 21/01/2025 14:32

Just so inappropriate!

Mind you, I’d be offering to write the minutes from the meeting and wouldn’t hold back on point 1 ….

”Jane Do offered a prayer and several members of staff were gobsmacked and sent WTF emails about the inappropriate use of meeting time”

Date for next meeting tbc,
Agenda

  1. Why religion and politics has no place in the workplace
HelpMeGetThrough · 21/01/2025 14:32

Well, if they are a Trump supporter, your prayer next time could be:

"Dear God, please look after our American cousins in these dark, dark days.

PS: why did you let them miss."

Coffeeandwalnutcakes · 21/01/2025 14:31

I used to work with a team in Tennessee and their idea of religion was a joke. I’ve never met such a bunch of vindictive back stabbers and the most suppposedly religious one of the lot was the worst one.

rwalker · 21/01/2025 14:31

Not for me but there again everything isn’t about me so I’d just let them crack on and not join in

Lurkingandlearning · 21/01/2025 14:30

I’d be tempted to say it would take far too long as, obviously, all the various religions represented in your diverse team would also need time for prayer

ArabellaScott · 21/01/2025 14:29

Utterly inappropriate.

Perhaps you can do a short reading from Richard Dawkins for the AOCB.

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 14:29

Growlybear83 · 21/01/2025 14:20

I'm assuming the OP won't be expected to participate in the prayers so I really dont understand the issue.

Well, it’s a video call so I suppose I sit there and listen to her thank god for Trump or whatever the hell she wants to pray about????

OP posts:
MsMarch · 21/01/2025 14:28

I would simply turn off my camer and do some other work.

I'd also quietly judge the manager who should absolutely be nipping this in the bud, right now.

SilenceInside · 21/01/2025 14:28

OliveThe0therReindeer · 21/01/2025 14:25

It’s not at all unusual here in the Uk. The first thing that former Scottish First Minister Humza Yousaf did when he took up office was to lead prayers in the official residence

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2023/03/29/scotlands-first-minister-leads-ramadan-prayers-first-night-bute/

No one in Scotland was bothered, it’s a diverse country.

He did that in the official residence, if he'd have done it in a business meeting it would have been inappropriate.

Coffeeandwalnutcakes · 21/01/2025 14:27

HowardTJMoon · 21/01/2025 13:57

If she insists, ask if you can do a pagan prayer at the next meeting.

Islamic prayer request would likely give her a coronary as she’s a trump supporter.

JimHalpertsWife · 21/01/2025 14:26

Growlybear83 · 21/01/2025 14:25

@JimHalpertsWife It's hardly the same thing. The OP says thst a prayer will take place at the start of the meeting - no mention of any discussion about any religion.

Why? All it is is sitting listening to someone talk at you. You don't have to join in.

A prayer is a display of religion.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 21/01/2025 14:26

Nanny0gg · 21/01/2025 14:23

Because up till now it has not been normal practice and this loon woman has suddenly decided to introduce it?

And the US Manager has said 'it's harmless'.

I have not the slightest care what the OP does but I think she's foolish to make an issue of something she could so easily not participate in/excuse herself from.

We're all different. I'm not into drama at work.

Agix · 21/01/2025 14:25

Ask if you can say the prayer.

Have fun!

Growlybear83 · 21/01/2025 14:25

@JimHalpertsWife It's hardly the same thing. The OP says thst a prayer will take place at the start of the meeting - no mention of any discussion about any religion.

OliveThe0therReindeer · 21/01/2025 14:25

It’s not at all unusual here in the Uk. The first thing that former Scottish First Minister Humza Yousaf did when he took up office was to lead prayers in the official residence

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2023/03/29/scotlands-first-minister-leads-ramadan-prayers-first-night-bute/

No one in Scotland was bothered, it’s a diverse country.