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AIBU?

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To have objected to ‘prayers’ at work

587 replies

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 13:56

Will try to keep this brief… Work in a team of 12, 6 in U.K. and 6 in USA ( mid-west) and once a week we have a team meeting that we take turns in running.

Tomorrow is the turn of A. A is a Republican, church goer, voted Trump because she wanted, quote ‘More money in my pocket book and illegals dealt with’.
So far so MAGA. This came up pre-election as she’s the only Trump fan on the team and was open about it.

On the agenda for the meeting is ‘Prayer’ as point one. I pinged manager a note saying what?? A thinks it would be nice to start off with a prayer. As a team. I have asked for it to be OFF the agenda. US manager thinks it’s ‘harmless’ but has said will clarify.

AIBU to think it’s totally inappropriate??? I’m an atheist for a start, most of my U.K. team are the same or at least agnostic.

Seems weird that she’s never tried this before, but suddenly Trump ‘god saved me to MAGA’ is inaugurated and a team prayer is in the agenda.
We are a large global company, BTW, not some local mom & pop outfit that sells bibles…

YANBU - work is secular. She keeps her views and prayers to herself own time.

YABU - lighten up, what harm can it do.

OP posts:
MikeRafone · 21/01/2025 17:03

Any type of praying needs to be done outside of work time, its not something that should be happening during a work meeting.

Suggest that the that want to pray do so at a tea break or lunch break.

Abitofalark · 21/01/2025 16:58

Flustration · 21/01/2025 14:35

Religion aside, what does 'Prayer' even have to do with the meeting? Is it supposed to be a sort of ice breaker?

Suggest replacing it with something that would go down better with the UK team such as "Discuss Weather" or "Is Your Central Heating On"

I do love a song or a poem and would gladly volunteer to inflict entertain the meeting with my singing of a favourite song or recite a poem. I could even do a psalm to combine it with religious sentiment. Wicked!

LuckyPeonies · 21/01/2025 16:55

@Iamthewintersale That’s batshit, don’t put up with it. This person is attempting to set a precedent & she will no doubt continue to push more & more boundaries to test how far she can go. So your company needs to nip her nonsense in the bud! If she does not like it, she can resign and go to work for a church or the rump administration.

Winterwonders24 · 21/01/2025 16:54

jellybe · 21/01/2025 16:12

I'm a Christian and I would never dream of putting a prayer on schedule for a work meeting. Totally inappropriate to assume that others would want to do this. Honestly, do you have any team members of other religions to offer leading the team in prayer of their own next time? As I bet she would lose her shit if they even suggested it!

Totally unhinged to even suggest it.

As a Christian, couldn't agree more

Feelingathomenow · 21/01/2025 16:47

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 13:56

Will try to keep this brief… Work in a team of 12, 6 in U.K. and 6 in USA ( mid-west) and once a week we have a team meeting that we take turns in running.

Tomorrow is the turn of A. A is a Republican, church goer, voted Trump because she wanted, quote ‘More money in my pocket book and illegals dealt with’.
So far so MAGA. This came up pre-election as she’s the only Trump fan on the team and was open about it.

On the agenda for the meeting is ‘Prayer’ as point one. I pinged manager a note saying what?? A thinks it would be nice to start off with a prayer. As a team. I have asked for it to be OFF the agenda. US manager thinks it’s ‘harmless’ but has said will clarify.

AIBU to think it’s totally inappropriate??? I’m an atheist for a start, most of my U.K. team are the same or at least agnostic.

Seems weird that she’s never tried this before, but suddenly Trump ‘god saved me to MAGA’ is inaugurated and a team prayer is in the agenda.
We are a large global company, BTW, not some local mom & pop outfit that sells bibles…

YANBU - work is secular. She keeps her views and prayers to herself own time.

YABU - lighten up, what harm can it do.

Well I’m neither an atheist nor an agnostic- but this is highly inappropriate. Work is secular religion/belief is a private matter.

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 16:47

Other UK colleague has mentioned to line manager that it contravenes U.K. law… so I don’t think prayers will be happening. Not at this meeting anyway.

OP posts:
MyGhastIsFlabbered · 21/01/2025 16:47

I would ask if next time you can sacrificial a goat/lamb/virgin according to your religion

AllTheChaos · 21/01/2025 16:45

I would reply all with a list of ‘suggested order of prayers for meetings going forward’:
Jewish; Catholic; Hindu; C of E; Sikh; Jain; Pagan; Protestant; Wiccan; Humanist( Islamic; and ask if anyone has any others they would like to add.

Another2Cats · 21/01/2025 16:44

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 21/01/2025 14:38

You can put her on silent then, surely?

Honestly, I'm struggling to understand the big deal. I have online meetings where the team chats about football/rugby from the weekend. I know that I can nip off and make a cup of tea and leave them to it. I won't be wagging my finger at them.

I'm not religious so I understand where you're coming from but you'd be better off keeping your views to yourself where religion is concerned in the workplace. I agree that it shouldn't be but if it is, tune out. Easiest thing to do without getting 'known' for the wrong things.

Be smart about it.

"I have online meetings where the team chats about football/rugby from the weekend."

But is "chat about football" an actual agenda item as in this case?

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 16:44

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 21/01/2025 16:13

I wouldn’t join in.
I’d probably be willing to sit quietly while those who want to do their payer, do it.

Somebody being pro-Trump at work would drive me insane!

Oh, I’m sure 100s and 100s if not thousands of the US staff are… someone voted for him!

OP posts:
Galatine · 21/01/2025 16:44

I am an active Christian and I would find this inappropriate in a completely secular organisation. As a previous poster has commented in such a setting as a faith based school I would not object even if it were a different denomination or faith to mine. I have been in this situation and would maintain a respectful silence if I felt that I could not join in.

Another2Cats · 21/01/2025 16:41

HelpMeGetThrough · 21/01/2025 14:32

Well, if they are a Trump supporter, your prayer next time could be:

"Dear God, please look after our American cousins in these dark, dark days.

PS: why did you let them miss."

Oh yes, really nice. "I wish that shooter had managed to kill Trump"

CautiousLurker01 · 21/01/2025 16:40

Gunnersforthecup · 21/01/2025 16:17

Actually, you don't need to be a Christian, practising or otherwise, for your kids to get a place at a faith school.

Although, if such a school is oversubscribed, that is one of the criteria that can be used to allocate places.

Agree, but they prioritise those of faith when allocating places and implicit within that is the fact that it is a school where the faith colours the education - and prayers will be said in assemblies? Either way, you are consenting to a religious education and prayers?

But the fact is, prayers have not been said in most schools on a daily basis for decades, even at a faith school [my DD went to one 10-15 yrs ago and assembly was once a week, in fact so did I 45-50 years ago and likewise, one assembly a week, sometimes in the church next door 🤷🏻‍♀️].

Abitofalark · 21/01/2025 16:39

OliveThe0therReindeer · 21/01/2025 14:16

I think you need to separate out three things

  • your dislike of her politics
  • you dislike of her religion
  • Having religious observance during a work meeting

As you work in the Uk you will be aware that people here have freedoms of both religion and political belief. This applies to everyone, even if you don’t agree with them. It’s a fundamental part of human rights here in the Uk and criticising someone for expressing their views is probably a breach of your company policy.

That’s different from the third point, which depends on your company custom and practice, if it’s not mentioned in policy.

If you don’t wish to particulate you can ask your line manager for a respectful way to opt out.

I understand it can be challenging to work with people of different cultures, ethnicities and religions from your own , but it’s important to respect differences and appreciate that a workplace benefits from diversity and acceptance.

Your HR dept might be able to provide some training for you and your team on diversity and inclusion.

I am not fiercely anti-religion the way the OP and many others may be but apart from anything else, I would find it distracting from my work and the business of the meeting. And I cannot understand why people need to form private religious associations in the workplace but apparently they do.

You could either put up with it - that famous tolerance we're supposed to exemplify - or make your point and objection. But if religious belief or expression of it is not to be tolerated in the workplace, that calls into question the enforcement of other kinds of belief or practice one may be signed up to because considered 'a good thing', for instance the celebrated doctrine of 'd'. And might not participating in religious prayer be an instance of celebrating the 'd'?

On the particulate point (predictive text?) I strongly suspect that if forced to participate the OP might combust and turn into a mass of particulates.

MJOverInvestor · 21/01/2025 16:39

godmum56 · 21/01/2025 14:54

give it a bit of a David Essex vibe.....I'd join in!!
Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiæ,
vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Hevæ
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
in hac lacrimarum valle.

Eia, ergo, advocata nostra, illos tuos
misericordes oculos ad nos converte;
Et Iesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui,
nobis post hoc exsilium ostende.
O clemens, O pia, O dulcis Virgo Maria.

My actual school song (but we didn't do it with the Lloyd Webber tune). Starting a meeting with a prayer is totally inappropriate.

suburberphobe · 21/01/2025 16:36

If she insists, ask if you can do a pagan prayer at the next meeting.

Love it!

On a further note, religion needs to be kept out of the office/work place.

Unorganisedchaos2 · 21/01/2025 16:35

I work for a team that has people dotted about the world, we make every effort to acknowledge any religious celebrations, we send mass emails, people share photos of them and their families celebrating etc.

That said it would be completely inappropriate for anyone of any faith to start praying in a meeting - its very odd, are you supposed to just sit there or is there an expectation to join in??

Anuta77 · 21/01/2025 16:31

Trump has nothing to do with it.
Many religious individuals want prayers to be allowed at the workplace, such as muslims and I doubt they are pro Trump.
But no, nobody should be imposing their religion on others.

Ewock · 21/01/2025 16:30

Totally inappropriate. And as a pp said there are laws about this.
I am religious but would never do and wouldn't participate. Honestly I'd take it further depending what the manager says. It is not appropriate in the work place.

Bartoz · 21/01/2025 16:29

As this prayer is totally irrelevant to your work (I assume) I can't see how the manager / organiser of the meeting is allowing it.

It's nothing to do with freedom of religion or appropriateness, it's just completely out id context.

Why don't you ask to sing a football song the next time a We never walk alone or something similar?

ridl14 · 21/01/2025 16:26

Iamthewintersale · 21/01/2025 13:56

Will try to keep this brief… Work in a team of 12, 6 in U.K. and 6 in USA ( mid-west) and once a week we have a team meeting that we take turns in running.

Tomorrow is the turn of A. A is a Republican, church goer, voted Trump because she wanted, quote ‘More money in my pocket book and illegals dealt with’.
So far so MAGA. This came up pre-election as she’s the only Trump fan on the team and was open about it.

On the agenda for the meeting is ‘Prayer’ as point one. I pinged manager a note saying what?? A thinks it would be nice to start off with a prayer. As a team. I have asked for it to be OFF the agenda. US manager thinks it’s ‘harmless’ but has said will clarify.

AIBU to think it’s totally inappropriate??? I’m an atheist for a start, most of my U.K. team are the same or at least agnostic.

Seems weird that she’s never tried this before, but suddenly Trump ‘god saved me to MAGA’ is inaugurated and a team prayer is in the agenda.
We are a large global company, BTW, not some local mom & pop outfit that sells bibles…

YANBU - work is secular. She keeps her views and prayers to herself own time.

YABU - lighten up, what harm can it do.

I am religious and think this is outrageous! Very offensive to have it imposed and especially for anyone who doesn't follow the same sect or religion or has no religion

Maia77 · 21/01/2025 16:24

The world's going to turn into the Handmaid's tale soon. Of course YANBU. Why do people feel it's okay to impose their religious or spiritual beliefs on others I have no idea, especially in work environment.

Bromptotoo · 21/01/2025 16:23

I would be raising an objection with managers.

Whatever goes in the USA prayers, doubtless of the Christian form, have no place in the workplace.

MzHz · 21/01/2025 16:22

@Iamthewintersale just tell your manager and cc A that you do not mix religion with work and that this is a secular meeting. that you will NOT be participating and that either the prayer is removed from the agenda or someone can ping you when the meeting proper is about to start.

Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee · 21/01/2025 16:21

I doubt they would expect Muslim or Jewish colleagues to join in with their Christian prayers, so I don’t see why they think it is ok to make an atheist do it

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