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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think she should drop the single parent label in these circumstances?

254 replies

Ynhj · 21/01/2025 10:27

Before I say what I want to say it’s important that I make it really clear that I have huge respect for single parents. I can’t begin to imagine it all falling on you and nobody there to share the load. I’m not trying to minimise that here but I do feel with my sister it’s very different.

She works Monday to Thursday while her child is in nursery. She has Friday off with her child and then her ex collects on Saturday morning and spends the weekend doing what my sister says… if she wants to join then she does, if she wants to go out she does, if she wants to do zero parenting all weekend then that’s what happens. Anytime she needs her hair doing or nails or to meet a friend etc she can, whilst also having a full day a week with her toddler and enjoying the weeknights without the stress of being a SAHP. Her ex pays her loads and covers all the costs and more. She has openly admitted she uses the surplus half for their child’s savings and half for herself. In practice this means her food for the month or her hair and nails paid for.

In contrast I have two dc and don’t work. I have a very hands on dh but it’s rare I get two days of a weekend to do what I fancy. It does happen but it takes planning and certainly not every week! Despite this my sister is constantly on about being a single parent and how she has found ways to manage it, comparing herself to me when I am struggling with two and our situations are very different. AIBU to think she needs to stop talking about herself as a single parent? I think it’s insulting to actual single parents and to people like me who are struggling despite not being single because we don’t have the luxury of full weekends off parenting and nursery in the week!

OP posts:
SoScarletItWas · 21/01/2025 10:35

You could try it her way. Get a job and put your DC in nursery four days.

Or talk to DH about having a weekend every month to yourself while he has the kids. Of course, he would get the same.

I actually think it’s refreshing to read about co-parenting that works and where the non resident dad pays properly.

But I also bet it’s her doing pick ups when her DC is ill and needs to come home, doctors appointments etc.

Edited to add: what age are your DC? If they are in school you are BVU as you have all the school day to do your thing at least some days around keeping the house.

yeesh · 21/01/2025 10:35

You are being a nob tbh. You can’t complain that you have to look after your own children when you are a stay at home mum 🙈 her children are in nursery so she can work ffs

BobbiJo · 21/01/2025 10:32

Does she have a partner? A boyfriend? Husband that isn't child's dad?

Or is single?

If she's single, she's a single parent.

All kids have two parents, at least biological speaking.

If the parents split up, they're both single parents.

If the child never sees the other parent, perhaps you could use the phrase lone parent.

But then you'll start falling into needing a new label for every situation.

.....

If she's single, lives alone and is raising the child etc. she's a single parent household, doesn't mean she's a lone parent.

ForRealCat · 21/01/2025 10:32

My goodness you sound like hard-work rather than hardworking