Why do people make comments about well groomed or attractive people?

Im not sure when we need to go back to though, it was ever thus.

I'm less than 5ft tall, my height is often mentioned...but if I meet new people (and with people i know!) I often make a self deprecating joke about it, before anyone else does, so they are laughing with me not at me IYSWIM, it's almost like a self defence mechanism.

People are commenting because their levels of attractiveness and grooming are different from the norm. They would also notice if someone was very unkempt, but it's ruder to discuss that.

They do it to make themselves feel better. It's as simple as that.
If they commented on the 'scruffy' people they wouldn't get the same satisfaction. But they comment on someone who has nice hair etc it makes them feel better. Kind of like I can't have what they have so I will put them down instead

I'm ashamed to say I do a similar thing. Not necessarily comment negatively on someone's appearance although i did find it a small consolation when a woman who seemed really perfect had horrible feet! but I'm almost surprised if someone who looks really perfect, is a nice person! I find myself saying "actually they're really nice"...when they have given no impression at all that they wouldn't be. I think its me trying to persuade myself there's a reason I might not like them rather than admit that I'm envious. I'm really short, and I feel like I look chunky next to most people (But I have recognised it's a me-problem!)

I'm not trying to belittle anyone.

Tbh I suppose I am talking about people who take things to the extreme. The extreme where the person is the focus of comment about how she looks because her appearancw and make up, clothes, nails, etc. are obviously of over riding importance in her life.

Of course it's possible, and I hope normal for people to present themselves in an aesthetically pleasing way without making it the focus of their lives.

Being well-groomed or attractive does not mean you're constantly looking in the mirror or posting selfies or 'obsessing' about anything. This is a perfect example of someone trying to dismiss and belittle people who look good, probably due to their own insecurities.

I think some people admire in a nice way and others just don't...I make a lot of effort with my appearance, chose clothes carefully, groomed. I have a friend who never ever gives a compliment...I showed her another photo of a friend of mine who looked fabulous in a beautiful dress and this woman made a rude comment about her hair. Levelling down...I think some people give lots of compliments, I do and others just don't, no idea why

You also see it every time there's a thread about class/money - "Proper old money people drive battered Volvos, wear a jumper the dogs have slept on, and have a family of sparrows nesting in their hair; only aspirational working/middle class people care about their appearance."

If someone spends the majority of their time looking in the mirror or obsessing about their makeup or wardrobe, and posting selfies so everyone can admire them that doesn't leave much time for bothering about anyone else does it?

So imo people who are obsessed with their appearance are generally only interested in other people as a source of praise/ admiration for themselves.

People got much, much kinder to me when I started wearing glasses.

People feel more relaxed around vulnerable people.

I was model like in my early 20s. Tall, blonde , attractive, wore nice clothes. Broke the bank to have a nice car. Got stared at a lot..and bitched about a lot. Some girls would be deliberately nasty to me in the workplace and try to take me down a peg or two even though I was polite to everyone.
Those days are now over and I am slightly overweight from back to back pregnancies. My dm seems quite disappointed in how I look now. She hasn't said anything but I can just sense it. She focused a lot on my appearance as a child. But it is a bit of a relief that nobody is being nasty anymore just on appearance. Silver linings 🤣

You can see it even from some PP on this thread - an idea that people who care about their appearance must only or mostly care about that, and not other more worthy things. You see it often in Style and Beauty - "I have better things to do than care about how my hair looks" and so on. I don't know what people who feel like that make of people who are successful/interesting/caring/intelligent, etc., and also well groomed.

Yes, I hear this all the time at work, especially if she’s new and attractive. Comments such as “I wouldn’t have time in the morning” and other digs at her appearance and what she wears.

I think people who are attractive and clearly make an effort are held to a higher standard than those of us who aren't, so people comment more.

I don't agree with that being the case, but I think it's true.

Looking good takes upkeep, and immediately people think that means you are shallow or vain. Never mind that we have grown up with the media poking fun at everyone over a size 8 and we have algorithms constantly exposing us to the top 1% most beautiful people in existence. You get people going 'not me, i prefer the natural look' but in a way that's looking down on someone for wanting to fake tan, dye their hair, wear makeup etc, like it's somehow morally superior not to do those things? Looking good takes a lot of effort but I've noticed with a girl I know who is very into the love island sort of look, it's a social thing too! Also - she's getting her nails, lashes and hair done by her mates, so local girls who aren't paying for chairs at the big salon chains, she loves makeup and experimenting and finds it soothing, the same as me. She doesn't find all the upkeep stressful, she enjoys it - it's a hobby.
I hate all the 'why has she ruined her face with fillers' maybe have a look at the way previous generations have spoken about each other's physical appearance - a lot of women i know (mid thirties) have discussed that our mothers generation see nothing wrong with commenting on someone's weight, clothes or face in a negative way, I just don't see it among people my age. (To be clear, im not saying every woman of a certain age does this at all!!) As a woman you are simulateously expected to be pretty but also not look like you put any effort into being pretty. There are some really genetically blessed people out there, but there are a lot of us who want to put in the effort to feel good, whatever the reason, but society has successfully branded 'TRYING to look good' as some kind of moral failing....

Someone joins a group who very obviously, for whatever reason(s), changes the social dynamic. People are trying to come to a consensus on how they are going to respond to that person and establish/ reestablish the social hierarchy. We’re just chimps when it comes down to it.

Likewise, I haven't encountered this. The odd passing comment like "She always looks well" or "I love that coat" certainly, but nothing more than that.

Exactly this and from an anthropological point of view it's fascinating.

In an institutionalised society like ours we like people to stay in their lane and respect their station - stay in their box, as you put it. Be who you like on the inside but the outside should reflect your position in life, i.e., a mum should look mum-ish. When people step outside of this then other people get judgemental about it and decide they clearly have no inner substance because everything is out there on the surface, on show as they've nothing else to offer.

It stands out as pettiness even more when you compare it to other, more egalitarian cultures, where it's actively encouraged to put work into styling your appearance.

Some of it is jealousy

Some of it is to make them look small and stupid because only dim people are overly concerned with their appearance, intelligent people have much more important things to focus on and their lives are way to busy to have time for that sort of thing

Some of it is because it makes them feel inadequate and guilty and lazy for not looking after their own appearance and they feel bad for not making the effort

This happens to me. I'm 5ft 1, size 8, long blonde hair, nice teeth, (thanks adult braces), what others might consider a 'good' face. Don't see myself as some sort of beauty by any means and am definitely not high maintenance at all I've just lucked out genetically and pay to get my hair done, wear a bit of make-up. Not immaculate but more of a natural vibe.
Anyway, every single time I go somewhere new or meet a new group someone (usually a woman) will make a comment like I'd kill for your hair or you've got amazing teeth but then something about my height like 'you are so short in real life though'.
Also people constantly ask me if I've lost weight, tell me I have when I say I haven't. I've been the same size my whole adult life.
As an aside, the height comment thing in general is something that's considered acceptable (for tall people as well). My height is the butt of so many jokes and is always mentioned when I meet people. I usually reply 'no shit Sherlock' and wonder what would happen if I commented on everyone's weight in the same way.
Example: offered someone a drink at work. They said 'are you sure you can reach the mugs' haha so funny.
Imagine if I said to someone 'do you want to sit in this chair? Do you think you can fit your arse on it?'
Off on a tangent there but I do wonder if people think it's ok to mock my height because I'm otherwise considered 'attractive' whatever that means.