Why do people make comments about well groomed or attractive people?

I think people are confusing things ok this thread. You can be ultra groomed but not beautiful and you can be beautiful but not ultra groomed. They aren't the same thing. I don't find ultra groomed men attractive & don't like the trend for denture like teeth. I'm not jealous of them.

I brush my hair, wash it every few days, tie it back, shower use deodorant and clean clothes and brush my teeth

This is all I do and if anyone has a problem that is on them

If you're someone who makes an effort with their appearance, do you notice people doing it? Subtly dissecting your appearance? It looks stressful!

I care about how I look but only ever get complements to my face.

I'm not overly groomed though and think that's the difference.

This is 100% it, happens to people who have just weight too. More so with women but men too, there is always an undercurrent of competition among the sexes.

I have been called stuck up and a snob because I always have my hair and natural make up done and a decent outfit pulled together.

To me it’s very basic standards but looking back the women who were mean to me didn’t see a regular hair brush or have more than one outfit.

One if the most beautiful women I know is a consultant. She puts effort into her appearance, and is also one of the most caring doctors I know. It's almost too much for some of our (particularly male) patients ...a consultant who is beautiful, petite, AND intelligent and very good at her job. How dare she!!!

See, I think people who don’t care about their appearance are lazy and delusional. Why? Because of this thread. Despite sayings like Don’t judge a book by the cover and What matters most is inside, everyone judges everyone initially by how they look. I just think it’s human nature. Caring about how you look is not self-absorbed, it’s realistic.

The problem is you’ve just done exactly what you’re saying you dislike - judging someone based on their appearance.

If you instantly equate someone dressed nicely, wearing makeup etc as someone obsessed with their appearance you have literally just made a sweeping judgement on their character based on their looks.

Maybe they suffer with low self esteem so feel better and more confident dressed up? Maybe they just enjoy wearing makeup and nice clothes? What someone wears really doesn’t give you any reason to judge their value base.

Some people are just very shallow/envious. We have some friends, their first descriptive of someone will be "they're attractive" or not, its like they measure someone's worth by what they look like. I'd leave them to it, it says more about them than you.

Folk comment on a whole host of things for a wide variety of reasons.
Take the opposite tack and be appropriately friendly and get to know her, regardless of how she looks.

People are insecure OP

She isn’t saying she’s like that… just that some people are!

It’s jealousy!

I used to be very insecure therefore it made me feel better to pick apart other people negatively!!

However, I am now a lot more secure and love myself. I also realised being mean about other people didn’t make me feel better it just made me even more miserable!

I now point out nice things about people!!

If someone obviously makes an effort to attract attention to their looks, it attracts attention to their looks.

As 5128 says, it is a kind of communication and it invites replies.

If I decide to put a few paintings on my wall, people will comment on the paintings. If I decide to have music on when having guests, they will talk about music. Attracting attention to some topic opens the topic.

Because people read making an effort to look attractive as communication which says "Find me attractive people!" and they proceed to answer this unspoken percieved communication with their opinion on whether they find the person attractive. People who make no effort and not percieved to be communicating anything about their appearance so there's nothing to respond to. Its also seen as more socially acceptable to criticise people for making an effort (vain, shallow, insecure) than not (busy, self confident and don't care, better things to think about).

I must be lucky. I don’t seem to mix with bitchy people.

Is this for real? Are you 12 years old? Get a fucking grip 🙄

I notice other people do this but I don't do it, I don't notice. The only time that I did was when a man who I believe was a Dad at the school my children went to was on the beach and wanted to go for a swim, he asked a group of us so 3 Mums, if we were going to be sitting still for a bit and if so could we look after his stuff. I said, "yes we will be here as he kind of addressed me more than my friends who were sitting further back, and proceeded to take all his clothes off down to his trunks. You couldn't really not look at him but I thought he seemed to do it on purpose, my friends were talking about him loads once he had gone into the sea. Yes, he was objectively good looking and very strong looking, not your average Dad so I think you are right, I don't think as much interest if he was a typical looking Dad.

I guess lots of reasons. Some people are jealous, insecure, unhappy or just bored..Most people like a bit of drama. I know what you're talking about but fortunately I don't hear too much of it these days. I think we do generally tend to grow out of it when we realise there's more to others than the superficial appearance. plus, older women are just less visible to others so they don't provoke this kind of talk.

That's all I got.

Same reason people talk about scruffy people. They stand out. If you think of it as 80% of people are somewhere in the middle, 10% are “well groomed” and 10% are “scruffy” then the two smaller groups stand out as “different” so they attract attention. If you were out in the car you’d probably notice a Rolls Royce go past, or a really old car spewing fumes but I doubt you’d notice a 3 year Old Ford Focus specifically.

Give over!

I'm (mostly) well groomed. I wear makeup every day, my hair is well cut and tidy, I have a light fake tan, my nails done and my clothes are always well put together if I leave the house. I have my eyebrows waxed and dyed and when I can afford it, occasionally have my lashes done. I like playing around with makeup, buying makeup and clothes. I also take selfies (because if I didn't, my kids would never have any photos of their mum!)

It doesn't mean I'm obsessed with my appearance because I like to take care of it. I'm a member of the PTA, governors, and volunteer for a local charity supporting vulnerable people. I also have four children, self-employed and home educate.

You can be well groomed and give a shit about the way you look without spending all your time on it. I get up half an hour earlier to do my hair and makeup than I would if I couldn't be arsed. I just choose to use some of my downtime to play about with makeup and clothes rather than something else.

Being well groomed and caring aren't mutually exclusive. Doing your hair and makeup doesn't have to take hours and hours and doesn't mean someone's obsessed.

The person I know that spends the most time grooming is a rather large middle aged lady!
It's not makeup and fake everything, its skin and body care (mostly any new anti ageing fad). She spends an astronomical amount of money on it.
You wouldn't look twice if she walked into a room, she looks like a very nice mumsy lady, almost like you would imagine a librarian to look like.
I wear plenty of makeup, do my hair & nails etc and am also a rather large lady. I spend a fraction of the amount of time/money as my friend but in theory I would get the catty comments because my appearance means it looks like I spend more money and time on myself.
People can/will comment as much as they like but as usual they never know the full story.

Although I haven't witnessed what you describe OP, I can give my angle from the other side.
I grew up in an environment where the majority of people would be well turned out. Or making an effort as you put it. Just the way it was. It wasn't a real effort as such, it was a way of life. Women always dressed very nicely (but appropriate for the occasion), nice hair, skin, nails etc. men, as far as I remember, also neat and tidy. If someone who didn't fit that image would get into that environment, there would be some comments about lack of personal care or self respect. Not many comments to be fair, but there would be some comments occasionally about the way this other person was dressed or if hair was messy or generally not looked after. No comments about, say, big ears or a big nose or being overweight etc, nothing like that at all. Just about general appearance. Was that levelling? I don't know. The fact was, these 'different' people stood out, didn't fit in to certain standards.

I've never witnessed it happen to men, only women. I think it is envy amd insecurities, it could work for both sees, a woman may feel insecure around an attractive man thinking it's the kind of man who won't have an interet in her.
I have insecurities and I notice if another woman has something I don't and I'll admit I do wonder if it is natural or they have had work. I keep it to myself though as I have experienced being on the receiving end of jealousy when I was younger and it's not nice.

Agreed- It’s plain old jealousy.
A tall, slim polished looking woman will get comments wheras someone stomping in in crocs and a grubby pink top won’t be a threat to anyone.

As for the muscular man- he’s probably Gay anyway and not remotely interested in any of the women looking to knock him down.