My husband says I’m selfish for being afraid of the dark-

27 replies

Zimp · 21/01/2025 10:17

In the middle of the night last night I got up to my crying 5 year old. The corridor light which is normally on, was off so I turned it back on, leaving it on at its (usual) dimmest level.

I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from repeated adverse childhood experiences and have always slept with the light on. My husband knew this when we met has never raised this as a problem. He knows that I have horrendous nightmares.

Last night, when I got back from putting her back to sleep, he demanded I put the hallway light off, yelling ‘you’re Selfish, F*ing Selfish!’ over and over again.

Am I going mad, or is this unkind and horrible behaviour from someone who supposedly loves me?

OP posts:

SoftPillow · 21/01/2025 10:29

There is something about being woken in the middle of the night which makes rational people irrational.

I would speak to him calmly about it today and you might hopefully get a different picture from him.

Did you shut your bedroom door so the light didn’t startle him? Could you buy some plug in nightlights? We use these to provide low level lighting in the night, enough to safely find the bathroom or sort most issues, but they don’t wake anyone up.

I’m sorry about your childhood experiences.

Hopefully this was a middle of the night one off from your DH.

BobbiJo · 21/01/2025 10:24

Sounds like he's the selfish one.

Sounds like he accepted things fine, now all of a sudden doesn't.. now you've a young child.

I wonder, has anything else become an issue since child was born that wasn't an issue before child was born. Think back over the 5 years..

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