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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Accidentally booked a trip away over my best friends birthday

59 replies

brassandswitch · 21/01/2025 10:05

So I've just spoken to my best friend and showed her where I'm going on holiday with family in July, only for her to mention I'm away over her birthday. Completely forgot and didn't realise - I wasn't here last year either as I was away for work. She gets very touchy about it. I've apologised and she's genuinely upset at me for it. AIBU?!

OP posts:
luckylavender · 21/01/2025 10:55

Do people still behave like this?

PickledElectricity · 21/01/2025 10:54

Are you her only friend?

Londonrach1 · 21/01/2025 10:53

Lol...your friend is pulling your leg surely...no one would do what she is suggesting. Yanbu.

CocoapuffPuff · 21/01/2025 10:51

She's upset because you didn't put her birthday as a higher priority than your holiday?

Is she 12????

Tell her to get a bloody grip. That's ludicrous.

Oh, and stop apologising to her. She's being a brat.

Greyish2025 · 21/01/2025 10:50

brassandswitch · 21/01/2025 10:05

So I've just spoken to my best friend and showed her where I'm going on holiday with family in July, only for her to mention I'm away over her birthday. Completely forgot and didn't realise - I wasn't here last year either as I was away for work. She gets very touchy about it. I've apologised and she's genuinely upset at me for it. AIBU?!

Jesus, the things some people post AIBU’s about are ridiculous, looking for advice on things that are so obvious

FastFood · 21/01/2025 10:42

Oh boy I wouldn't even expect my mum to be around for my birthday, whats wrong with people ?!?

pestowithwalnuts · 21/01/2025 10:41

She sounds very selfish and immature.. So it's her birthday..so what.??

AKettleOfDifferentFish · 21/01/2025 10:31

Unless it's a significant birthday and you have previously accepted a party invitation then she is being ridiculous!

BunnyLake · 21/01/2025 10:31

You are not being the slightest bit unreasonable. Don’t apologise or anything like that as that will be taken as you've done something wrong (which you haven't).

It’s very immature for a non-related adult to expect you to just be around for their birthday, especially if nothing has even been planned.

Goldfish50 · 21/01/2025 10:28

I agree with @SummaLuvin

If she's single and would usually celebrate her birthday with you and may now be on her own, I can see why she might be upset. I think it would be nice if you suggest another date to celebrate her birthday with her.

ItGhoul · 21/01/2025 10:24

Sorry, what? Your friend expects you always to be available just because it happens to be her birthday? She's ridiculous and sounds mad.

OatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 21/01/2025 10:24

How very odd of her.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/01/2025 10:23

I don’t think needing to be there for your friend’s birthday is a thing as an adult!

Cynic17 · 21/01/2025 10:23

What is the matter with her? I have very good friends that I've known for 50 years and I haven't seen any of them on my birthday since we were at school.
Your friend needs to grow up, OP!

MaggieFS · 21/01/2025 10:21

She sounds like hard work.

gamerchick · 21/01/2025 10:17

No it's her being unreasonable OP. My friends birthday wouldn't even enter my head when going away. It just doesn't.

Tell her you can do something before or after and she can have 2 if you want to appease her.

Original poster
brassandswitch · 21/01/2025 10:17

I've already bought her tickets to a concert in July which was her birthday present anyway so she can't complain

OP posts:
DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 21/01/2025 10:16

Adults who insist that people drop everything for their birthday are really tedious.

Unless it is a milestone birthday, and she’s already ‘saved the date’, don’t pander to her being upset.

SummaLuvin · 21/01/2025 10:14

Did you have plans you will no longer be able to make? Or verbally commit to keeping the date free to spend time with her? Or had a historic pattern of always doing things together not hat date where she would expect it and think last year was a blip? If yes to any of those, I don't think she is being touchy. Especially if she is single or you are her closest person. Otherwise it's probably an overreaction.

SereneCapybara · 21/01/2025 10:13

Fix a date with her before you leave to celebrate in advance. The important thing is to show you care and commemorate her birthday somewhere near the time, not to slavishly schedule your life around the actual date!

noworklifebalance · 21/01/2025 10:13

For avoidance of doubt, YANBU

Original poster
brassandswitch · 21/01/2025 10:12

No nothing is planned and she always leaves it last minute anyway and she gets stressed and changes her mind every 2 minutes on what she wants to do. I don't celebrate mine anymore as I can't be arsed. Wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable or if she was the one being unreasonable 🤣

OP posts:
Nothingisrealisit · 21/01/2025 10:12

I know celebrating birthdays seems to be a really big thing for a lot of posters on MN but I don't see why this an issue.

She is an adult for heavens sake.

You can still buy her a gift before you go, send her a card and message her on the day. And celebrate with her either before you go or when you get back.

I really don't understand why your holiday arrangements should be dependent on a friend's birthday. If she is annoyed about it then she is being extremely childish and unreasonable.

ChaosAndCuddlesAndTeacups · 21/01/2025 10:11

VickyEadieofThigh · 21/01/2025 10:06

Is she 5? She needs to grow up.

Hundred percent this 😆

AzurePanda · 21/01/2025 10:11

Sorry but I don’t have much time for adults who seem to think everyone’s plans should revolve around their birthday.

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