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AIBU?

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Original poster

Annoyed with DH over holiday!

63 replies

Dish19 · 21/01/2025 09:04

DH and I have booked a holiday in summer with DSIL and her family. We’ve paid a deposit etc. We have DCs 4 and 9 months.

Yesterday DH came home from work and straightaway started telling me he doesn’t think he can have those dates off work now as too many people are off. I (obviously?) got annoyed as he agreed the dates so I presumed as an adult he would have checked. He then got angry at me, saying he only wanted a discussion over it and not an argument?

There’s a chance I could fly out with DSIL and DCs alone although I don’t really want to do this it would be better than losing the whole trip. I asked DH, seeing as he wants to ‘discuss’ it, to check with his manager first to try and get the time off. Now he’s dragging his heels saying he needs to wait for the right time to ask. In the meantime DSIL and family are booking flights and I really want to know sooner rather than later so I can book the same flight and so they can help out!

AIBU here?

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 21/01/2025 09:35

@Dish19 what the hell does he need to discuss with the boss?? he should have put in the request for the holidays before it was booked or at the very latest, the day after it was booked! what kind of sap is he???

SophiaSW1 · 21/01/2025 09:27

This is all his problem not years. I'd leave him to solve it.

Pippa12 · 21/01/2025 09:24

My DH used to be like this, work work work every time I suggested something. One year, I didn’t make a fuss, I just said ‘ahh that’s sad you can’t make it love, I’m going to go with the kids and you join us if you can. End of conversation.

Funnily enough he came and he’s not behaved the same since!

MermaidMummy06 · 21/01/2025 09:21

DH has done the date thing countless times. Say it should be ok, but not confirming. I resorted to messaging or calling him at work & asking him to go speak to one of the managers NOW, before booking, or no one goes anywhere. He was just lazy about it. Now he either asks, or I refuse to book (I'd never trust him to book somewhere as he'd have us in a cheap back alley hotel a long way from the action).

I would go on my own if I were you. But be clear you'll be taking time away, alone, in the near future because you also deserve a child free holiday.

Original poster
Dish19 · 21/01/2025 09:19

I’m not sure what’s going on at work tbh as he doesn’t usually need to worry about other people’s holiday dates, or it hasn’t been an issue before.

DH wants to drive not fly hence why I haven’t booked all our flights yet. But I agree I could just go ahead and do it.

OP posts:
Alabas · 21/01/2025 09:19

The doesn’t sound like a man who wants to go on holiday with his family. Is everything ok at home with you two?

Floranan · 21/01/2025 09:13

Sorry I would go ahead and book for me and the children I assume you get on well with SIL and her family ?, anyway book so you and the children can go, he can sort out his tickets when he know he can go, it might push him to check.

it does make me question though why he’s dragging his heels, is there a problem at work and he doesn’t want to rock to boat ?

Original poster
Dish19 · 21/01/2025 09:12

I want to go on the holiday as I’m close to DSIL, and it will be quite a bit of money that we lose if we don’t go.

OP posts:
Whatachliche · 21/01/2025 09:09

i'd drop the rope. this is a DH problem that he needs to solve with SIL.

ask him to decide what he wants to do - cancel or for you to go alone or for him to try to join. he needs to book any flights that needs booking. he needs to make all decisions about this holiday now, because he is putting you in a crazy-making situation, whatever you decide to do he can hold it against you.

Original poster
Dish19 · 21/01/2025 09:09

Yes it’s booked and no we can’t cancel as it’s a villa and we would have to still pay our share. That’s why we’ve booked the accommodation but not the flights.

Yes common sense would check the dates first but I can hardly ring DHs manager and ask him!

OP posts:
MostlyHappyMummy · 21/01/2025 09:07

Seems like your husband wants a holiday at home without you and the kids
would you consider cancelling?

User67556 · 21/01/2025 09:06

Have you booked it or not? Youve said you have paid a deposit but also havent booked flights?

you tell SIL to deal with your DH as he's said he can't get the Time off then leave them to it. What a dick your DH is. Sounds like he doesn't want to go.

shellyleppard · 21/01/2025 09:05

Common sense would have checked the holiday dates BEFORE booking......🤔🤔