Annoyed with DH over holiday!

I'd book for you and kids and leave him to sort him self.

But I would be pretty pissed off if he then magically managed to book a solo trip for two weeks to do his hobby leaving you with the kids.

It sounds like he doesn't want to go. And, yes I agree with other PP's that if he doesn't join you, he does not get to have a hobby trip and leave you alone with the kids again. That would be so selfish of him.

Honestly, I would be wondering why he doesn't want to go, and my first thought would be "is he cheating and wants to spend time with an AP and not have to come up with lies for being late/going out?!" But that's just my very cynical mind.

Can he come but work from home from the villa?

It will leave him with two extra weeks AL vs me and I won’t be able to afford another holiday this year so he’ll probably end up using his on a hobby trip.

I would tell him that if he is unavailable for this planned family holiday you will not book the flights and that you will be going off on a solo or friends holiday while he uses his 2 weeks to spend time with the kids

Looks like he's clearly up to something, especially since it's never been an issue with leave before and he's so obviously avoiding asking

Book the flights, he can drive if he wants

I'd cancel it even with the costs involved .
I'd be so annoyed I wouldn't be able to look forward to it anyway .
I wouldn't proactively arrange any holidays in the future either.

He is either stupid or duplicitous. Nobody reasonable books a holiday without booking AL.
Has he organised insurance and checked passports? (Just in case he hasn't done that either).

Unless it's over half term, I doubt that loads of people are booking time off in October. I would be suspicious of his motives. He hasn't even asked whether he can have time off and delaying this further instead of immediately putting in his request for annual leave makes it more likely that he doesn't actually want to go on this holiday.

Yes, this too. He takes the time to stay at home and care for the baby, not to bugger off on a hobby.

Well there’s your answer OP!

He’s got his eye on a relaxing two weeks at home whilst you’re away with his family, and then a hobby trip of his own.

Message him. ‘I’ll stop ‘hassling’ you but to be clear, if you miss the family holiday because you were disorganised, you can use your annual leave on family, you do not suddenly have extra leave to use on your hobby because you’ve dumped your family, our kids are young and a lot of work and if I’m solo parenting on holidays then I am not solo parenting later too so you can go away for your hobby. Im booking flights on Friday, you’d have to be an asshole to tell me not to so I miss out on getting sils plane and having some support if you don’t come. Yes I am annoyed about this in case you are wondering, it’s pretty crap of you.’

Oh and if you do end up going alone, make it damn clear to DH that he'll be spending his two weeks of annual leave caring for his DC, whether that means taking them to do his hobby or forgoing a hobby trip entirely.

This may be what he's trying to do - get a month off from being a Dad (two weeks when you're away and two weeks that he goes away without you).

You don't need to tell him how to sort it. He knows. No more than you need to n tell him to pull his trousers down before he sits on the loo. He's a grown man.

What you can do is let him know that you will be sad and upset if he can't do the planned holiday. Not emotional blackmail, just clearly setting out the likely consequences.

How about putting a message in the WhatsApp group saying:

"Slight problem in that DH didn't think to book the dates off work yet and now may not be able to take them 🤦🏻‍♀️ He's going to ask his boss today and try to find a work-around, but it may be that I'm flying out with you guys so I can have some support with the kids 😉 and if he does get those days off then we'll be driving as per the original plan. Will confirm what's happening tonight when DH is back from work!"

Means everyone knows the situation and pushes DH to get it resolved sooner rather than later.

Why should SIL deal with him??

Well I hope the kids enjoy his hobby then cos he’ll have to take them too to get you a week at home yourself!

if he wants to discuss it as you say then just ‘let’s put the last conversation behind us and discuss this the …. What are your thoughts’ and leave him to fill the gaps. What he’s really wanting is for you to propose a ‘fix’ so then he can delegate all responsibility to you and tell you not to complain because it was your solution when it goes badly. Do t give him this - let him work through the solution with his boss and his family…. Even if you go make it his choice.if he does come to the conclusion that you should go then ask ‘and that leaves you with 2 extra weeks. What do you propose you do with those’. Make him say it out loud.

Ask him to speak to his Manager, they may be able to sort something out for him, but sooner rather than later

Tell him that its booked and hes got months to sort it out, but that you do expect him to sort it, considering he knew the dates and agreed them originally.

Could this be his aim?

Common sense if you check the dates at work before booking anything that you wouldn't be able to cancel.
He is projecting this lack of planning to book the holiday with work on you....because he doesn't want to own up it was his fault.

In a nutshell, yes.

So basically he's been lazy and irresponsible and not booked time off before booking a holiday and he's now trying to DARVO you because he's fucked up.

He's an arsehole.