Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Burial advise legal HELP needed

61 replies

Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 08:38

This is a real dilemma
X and y were married over 50 years
x bought burial plot 600 pounds .
Y died first was cremated her ashes put in plot waiting for beloved x
x has just died
Council are now saying they want 1000 to open grave on top of burial costs
x was never notified of changes , if he had y would never have been put in grave , she’d. have waited in an urn at his home

Any thoughts . This represents a fortune to the family

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
notatinydancer · 23/01/2025 23:53

My friend recently paid £1800 to have a grave opened to put a second parent in.

TianasBayou · 23/01/2025 23:40

Well done for getting a reduction. Sorry for your loss.

LemonOP · 23/01/2025 14:12

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Lovelysummerdays · 23/01/2025 12:08

Is it possibly because it needs to be dug out by hand? There’s always a substantial charge just to gig a hole. It was £600 a few years ago on top of cost of plot but they use a mechanical digger. I’m assuming can’t use a digger now.

caramac04 · 23/01/2025 12:02

That’s good to see OP.

Pumpkinpie1 · 23/01/2025 11:54

Cost has now been reduced to £250

OP posts:
Pumpkinpie1 · 22/01/2025 11:00

Thankyou for the advise . Will see what happens when manager returns to work

OP posts:
Seeuontheboard · 21/01/2025 15:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LIZS · 21/01/2025 15:16

TianasBayou · 21/01/2025 14:50

Suggest you contact your local councillor and ask them to raise this with the cemetery manager ASAP. The council may have discretion to deal with the unexpected charge compassionately.

This may be the best way to negotiate.

Calmhappyandhealthy · 21/01/2025 15:14

So can the council change contract terms without notifying other party

Yes.

In the sense that there will be SOMETHING within the contract which allows for price rises

Inevitably there HAS to be, because prices DO rise

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 21/01/2025 15:11

I would expect it depends on whether the contract says the costs are £x (unlikely) or if it says something like the fees are whatever the council is charging at the time of the burial, perhaps referring a particular document that gets updated when the prices go up.

LIZS · 21/01/2025 15:05

Will the person now owning the plot also be interred there? If so make undertakers aware to avoid this coming up again.

Seeuontheboard · 21/01/2025 15:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Seeuontheboard · 21/01/2025 15:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Happyhippos123 · 21/01/2025 14:53

If the family can't afford to open the grave for the burial, will they consider cremation, as it was done for x's spouse, and scatter the ashes on the grave, as others have said.

If the family want to bury in the grave, then they're going to have to pay for the burial, on top of a coffin.

If they can't afford it, they'll have to look to get a loan - it is expensive, the cost of death is very high. The alternative is that the council buries them, in a council plot, not a family owned grave.

bridgetreilly · 21/01/2025 14:52

Try contacting the local MP to see if they can help?

bridgetreilly · 21/01/2025 14:52

I suspect, OP, that they shouldn’t be able to change the terms without notifying, but the legal costs of challenging it are likely to be more than £1000. If the funeral directors can’t find a way round it for you, then I think you’re stuffed. The only thing I can think of is to contact the local press and similar to try and shame the council into waiving the extra fee. But it’s a shit thing to happen at a shitty time.

Seeuontheboard · 21/01/2025 14:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TianasBayou · 21/01/2025 14:50

Suggest you contact your local councillor and ask them to raise this with the cemetery manager ASAP. The council may have discretion to deal with the unexpected charge compassionately.

Seeuontheboard · 21/01/2025 14:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LIZS · 21/01/2025 14:49

Are you sure they didn't?

Pumpkinpie1 · 21/01/2025 14:45

Yes there’s a will
x wanted to be buried so can’t cremate as that’s not what he wanted.
Council has admitted that this is a recent change Historically in our area this was not charged but has been amended in line with rest of council area.
So can the council change contract terms without notifying other party ?

OP posts:
Seeuontheboard · 21/01/2025 14:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Seeuontheboard · 21/01/2025 14:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

VonHally · 21/01/2025 12:52

Gosh am I the only one who thinks this is confusing?

Was y's urn interred in the grave, i.e. the grave was opened, and the fee was paid for that at the time? Doesn't matter if it is near the surface or not, if a formal grave opening was done at the time, presumably that incurred a fee.

Now x has died and is to be buried therefore the usual costs apply to the opening of the grave for that. So the grave is opened ready for y, but because x's urn is already in there, another huge fee is incurred? Is that correct? Maybe I am missing something though.

Sorry for your losses, but without sounding flippant or disrespectful, I'd nearly try to retrieve the urn and get the undertaker to put it in the coffin with x. Who'd know?

As I said I may have got it all wrong, and my apologies if so.

Swipe left for the next trending thread