To continue calling DD by the name I gave her

You do you, OP! It’s very lucky that once you make your bed, you’re the one that gets to lie in it.

Do you not get that none of this matters? Your daughter has chosen the name she wants people, including you, to call her. You are refusing. This will not end well for you, trust me.

18 pages telling you that you are being unreasonable, and this is the post you respond to? Have you taken in any of the other comments?

Don't do this OP. My mum is really fussy about names, hates nicknames and makes a big song and dance of calling people by full names that no one ever uses. She just comes off as a controlling weirdo.

Do you say
is-a-bell-a or iz-a-bell-a ?
So you say it Is-a, rhymes with Hiss-a or Is-a pronouncing the S as a z?
I have a name where many English people replace the s sound with a z sound, and don't say anything, but it isn't my name

Your DD grew up in European countries and watched the shitshow that was Tory Britain and its Brexit unfold - why are you surprised she doesn't want to be associated with that?

In any case it's irrelevant - you need to look at why you are so resistant to calling her by the name she feels is hers and then give your head a massive wobble. Unless of course you actively want to push her away. She's an adult. Respect her choices.

It genuinely doesn’t sound like you like your daughter much OP.

@bannsise so you can respond to have a dig at Italy and it’s politics but not at the posters calling your child every name under the sun.

I don’t think her name is your problem.

Ahh…well I agree with you completely there as they obviously don’t in a rhotic accent 😁

I'd be more concerned that it's the hill OP is willing for her relationship with her daughter to die on. Really?

Really? The politics of this country since 2016 have been awful for Europeans. I have felt a deep sense of shame for how they have been treated by the UK. If I had another nationality to align with, I would do it in a flash.

She went to a French boarding school in what, 2018? Got exposed to a likely multicultural environment in her formative young adult years and can look across the Channel to how this country was behaving at the time. And then the shit show of the last years of the previous government. The UK has been a mess since she would have had political awareness. And she has never lived here to develop any national pride through residence.

You can say Eesa without putting on an accent though. You're making problems where there are none.

But why does it matter so much to you? It's your daughter's name and identity. Whether you like it or not, she grew up in Italy and that's the place she feels more connected to. Britain isn't her home, it isn't her culture. Her experiences in life aren't through the eyes of a British person.

You trying to force an identity on her that she doesn't want is making her uncomfortable. Why would you insist? How would you feel if she started calling you a name you didn't like?

If you don't understand why she would be embarrassed to be British but not Italian, you could try asking her and listening with an open mind.

The same goes for why she wants you to pronounce her name the same way everyone else in her life does.

Having read through the updates you are being very unreasonable. Her name her choice.

Photographic memory does focus more on text, though the two are commonly used to mean the same thing. In this case, I was referring to the image in my mind of the deleted post. But 🤷‍♀️.

It is also "it's" not "its" in that sentence.
😉 (Just poking pedantic fun, not having a dig!)

I think its "photographic" memory, not "eidetic"

as you were

Eessabella
Izzabella
Issabella
Itzabella

All incorrect spellings of Isabella, but all potential and equally correct pronunciations, depending on exactly where you put the emphasis and whether you pronounce S as Z and where you are from.

I would always try to use whichever variant an individual indicates they preferred. My young relative with the same name prefers Whizz!

Incidentally, my father was a different nationality to my mother. I never lived in his home country, but have visited many times. In no way do I consider myself to be that nationality, even though I recognise I have ancestry from there.

If I had ever said to my father that I would be embarrassed to be considered X nationality, I think he would be capable of understanding that it's because that nation has a deep history of racism (which he also saw and objected strongly to himself) and because the politicians of the country have been particularly dick-headed in the last few years. Even my sibling, who has lived there for about the same amount of time as he lived in our home country and who has citizenship, identifies with his original nationality.

It's a political statement, not a personal insult.

I was wrong, just checked the school whatsapp as I got the words wrong - they were trying to say SAW and SORE sound the same!

We met at a personal-essay writing class in 2007.

Absolutely crying with laughter, this explains the self-centred pontificating.

I'm not going to ask you how long you lived in the US because you're being so awful to me that I don't trust you now to give an honest answer.

She's been very patient and polite to you all things considered, and in return, after saying something rude enough that Mumsnet considered it deletable, you're now implying she's a liar just because she disagrees with you.

You need to seriously check yourself.

Oh dear…actually I have a rhotic accent too but sore and soar sound the same to me 😂
I love different accents and dialect.

Thanks @HowwillIgetyoualone . I will just go through life getting confused with ees, is, bean, been and bin

But allow me to derail and at least I don't say Soar and Sore are homophones like my kids primary school tried to... with rhotic Scottish accents they do not sound the same

This doesn’t have an ees sound in my accent @TinyTear?

The ‘Is’ in the British version of Isabella rhymes with Fizz as pp said.