To continue calling DD by the name I gave her

Of course you're being unreasonable, and to be honest you sound quite bitter and awful about it. Your daughter is an adult, and if you make this your hill to die on I suspect you'll end up with her very low contact, if that.

She's an adult, I think you should call her Isa if that's what she wants.
The pronunciation of Isabella is just about accents though, you can't say it like her dad does or it would sound weird like you're trying to put on an accent

You said "Eee-sa sounds like she's in her twat era," thus clearly mocking her choice of name.

Thanks for the tip on reading comprehension; allow me to reciprocate: being sanctimonious on the internet makes one sound like an insufferable twat.

The mother who left her at 16 and makes a huge fuss about calling her daughter her own name....I can see why the DD is embarrassed.

It is a valuable skill...nuance matters.

??? It’s not a fake accent, it’s a legitimate pronunciation of a name, just not your pronunciation.

She’s an adult, the name belongs to her, not to you. Don’t die on this hill.

Call her the name she wants

I wrote: She claims it would be embarrassing to be British when her own mother is British? Eee-sa sounds like she's in her twat era.

I specifically referred to her insulting her mother's nationality. Nothing to do with her name. Reading comprehension is a valuable skill!

Do you want her to think of you the way some people are talking about their mothers on here, on this thread?

You have a choice whether to be ‘that’ mother, or her mother. They are very different things.

How would you like it if she started calling you Dad? Or Enid? Just respect her wishes and be grateful she hasn’t changed it to Nigel.

I think the most important question is, how much do you want this situation to effect your relationship with your daughter? It's a name. Yes, you chose her name, and you think it's pretty BUT now as an adult she clearly doesn't feel that way. The more you dig your heels in, and refuse to respect her wishes, you will start having a fractured relationship with her. It may be that she prefers the pronunciation that her Dad uses, it probably sounds a bit more exotic. Is it the fact she prefers her Dad's pronunciation to yours, that's the real issue here? I don't know, only you know the answer to that question. Isabella can be shorted in a variety of ways - Isa, Izzy, Bell, Bella. Most people use the shortened version of my name, which actually can be confusing as it's used for several girls names starting with the same three letters! My Aunt used to add a Y to the shortened version, which I absolutely hated!!! If I introduce myself, I always use my full name, so there's no confusion over what my actual full name is. For your daughter's sake, you need to let this go.

Exactly this.

This only makes it worse, you know. You gave her a name that has a totally different sound in her own accent/language and insisted on saying it a way that is foreign to her and everyone around her.

Then you left her at 16, moved abroad, and are still pissing about with the name.

Well, having read your replies OP, clearly this isn't about the name, is it?

I’m assuming she’s Italian and Isa pronounced that way would be common. I actually think it’s pretty. You should call her what she wishes if it’s important to her. That said I have names more all my children that really only I call them. And of course their full name when I’m reprimanding 😜 Mothers privilege.

It's entirely possible to pronounce 'eesa' without using an Italian accent.

Think of the Italian words that we commonly use in English - panini, pepperoni, broccoli etc etc

We don't say them in an Italian accent.

Yabu.

I really think you need to step off this hill. Why wouldn't you call your adult child by their preferred name? It feels petty and self centred 'well, I named her so I get to do what I want '. And all for such a minor change. My three have all changed the names they go by, two of them drastically. It's fine because I don't feel.I own them.

Just keep it up OP and you will solve your own problem. She will break off contact with you and you won't need to call her anything.

You gave your DD her name, it's her choice what to call herself.

Call her ee-sa. Her feelings on this take precedent. Maintaing a relationship with your adult DC is in the balance.

We have family names. My sibling did not like it. From when they went into the world as an adult, they have asked people to call them something related to their proper name. They get to choose their own name and identity.

I think that if you had a close relationship she would find your 'mispronounciation' endearing. You could have laughed it off by saying 'sorry, that's just my accent'. Instead of that you are digging your heels in saying that you are right and everyone else is wrong - the English accent is correct and the Italian accent is wrong. There's nothing endearing about that.

Well that’s the point isn’t it, she’s never asked anyone to use the other pronunciation. The OP’s daughter has. I’m sure if Dorothea asked people to use her preferred pronunciation, they’d make an effort to do so.

She claims it would be embarrassing to be British when her own mother is British? Eee-sa sounds like she's in her twat era.

Is this the kind of reaction you wanted @bannsise ? To have people support you by insulting you daughter who was born and raised in a country where the pronunciation of her name is standard, because you can’t bear to acknowledge she’s a grown woman who identifies with the culture she was raised with?

There are certainly twats on this thread and it’s not your daughter.

I also take back what I said about ee-sa sounding odd and pretentious. I didn't realise she was Italian and had always lived in Italy. Bit of a drip-feed there!

It's not a fake accent though is it?

You named her an Italian name when she was born in Italy. She lived in Italy. Her name is Isabella and she's asking you to just put some effort into pronouncing it properly.

Well you’ve got two choices. Continue calling her Isabella or Bella and piss her off, or call her Isa and don’t piss her off. Up to you.

Why do you have to put on an accent. It's easy to say Ee-sa in a 'normal' voice. This is how her name is shorted in the country she's grown up in and lives. Pick your battles.

Well that’s an interesting one. My DS works with a lady called Dorothea. Everyone calls her Dorothee-a. But where she is from, her name would be pronounced -Dorotaya.

I presume she’s never asked her co-workers to use her original pronunciation as every client who met her would have to be told what it was etc.