To continue calling DD by the name I gave her

She argues she wasn’t raised in the uk and she actively doesn’t identify as British (claims it would be embarrassing to be British).

You're still making it all about you OP. What your daughter is asking is not a bit unreasonable or outlandish, your refusal to respect her very simple request is very unreasonable. The background to why she was born and raised in Italy is irrelevant.

As many posters have pointed out, if a stranger or colleague or any other adult asked this you would respect that. Please show your daughter the same respect.

I didn’t choose to raise her in Italy I had a very short relationship with her dad and ended up pregnant, he promised me the world, broke up with me before her 1st birthday and refused to let me return to the uk where my family and support network were. Spoke to lawyers and was basically told I’d be wasting my time as it would always be ruled that she should remain in the country she is ordinarily resident. He kicked off so much that my family would have to come and visit us in Italy as he always claimed he didn’t trust me to bring her back if I took her to the uk!

You’re getting a tough time here OP.

It’s no surprise you’ve dug your heels in - your daughter told you - who picked the name - that you are pronouncing this name wrong! How ignorant, stupid and disrespectful.

It sounds like she’s trying to fully identify with her dad’s heritage and country and wants to sound more exotic than plain old Bella, or Issy. It’s pretentious and she’ll probably be embarrassed when she’s older.

Claiming that no one has called her anything except Isa is a lie. None of her UK friends or teachers would have called her that naturally unless she attempted to enforce it, which would have met with limited success. As an adult, every time she gets a non-social phone call, or called into an appointment they will call her Isabella with the English pronunciation.

A child changing their name is a rejection of their parents’ choice for them, so it will sting. It is also asking something of you that will never feel right or natural. Ultimately, it’s their choice, but she has not been respectful about it at all.

It’s not like she said, “Mum I prefer Isa and it suits me much better. This is what feels right for me and what everyone else is calling me now.” She’s stupidly said you are wrong about your own baby name choice which is incredibly rude, she is blatantly lying/exaggerating about “no one” else calls her that, and it seems like this new insistence is to make herself seem more exotic which is juvenile and may not last. And the short name she has picked is not sustainable in the UK, she will have to keep enforcing it. None of it is sensible or authentic.

I suspect she’s pretending that Eesabella is her “real name” (as opposed to different pronunciation of the same) and doesn’t want you to embarrass her by letting it slip that she’s just regular Isabella to anyone English.

Call her what you like if you don’t want much of a relationship with her op. Alternatively, respect her wishes..

Why is it odd for someone who has an Italian name and was born and brought up in Italy as an Italian citizen with an Italian parent to want to use the Italian pronunciation of her name.

I didn’t choose to raise her in Italy I had a very short relationship with her dad and ended up pregnant, he promised me the world, broke up with me before her 1st birthday and refused to let me return to the uk where my family and support network were. Spoke to lawyers and was basically told I’d be wasting my time as it would always be ruled that she should remain in the country she is ordinarily resident. He kicked off so much that my family would have to come and visit us in Italy as he always claimed he didn’t trust me to bring her back if I took her to the uk!

I think you, as her mother who picked her name, have a special role and you are entitled to call her by her birth name.

You’re getting a tough time here OP.

It’s no surprise you’ve dug your heels in - your daughter told you - who picked the name - that you are pronouncing this name wrong! How ignorant, stupid and disrespectful.

It sounds like she’s trying to fully identify with her dad’s heritage and country and wants to sound more exotic than plain old Bella, or Issy. It’s pretentious and she’ll probably be embarrassed when she’s older.

Claiming that no one has called her anything except Isa is a lie. None of her UK friends or teachers would have called her that naturally unless she attempted to enforce it, which would have met with limited success. As an adult, every time she gets a non-social phone call, or called into an appointment they will call her Isabella with the English pronunciation.

A child changing their name is a rejection of their parents’ choice for them, so it will sting. It is also asking something of you that will never feel right or natural. Ultimately, it’s their choice, but she has not been respectful about it at all.

It’s not like she said, “Mum I prefer Isa and it suits me much better. This is what feels right for me and what everyone else is calling me now.” She’s stupidly said you are wrong about your own baby name choice which is incredibly rude, she is blatantly lying/exaggerating about “no one” else calls her that, and it seems like this new insistence is to make herself seem more exotic which is juvenile and may not last. And the short name she has picked is not sustainable in the UK, she will have to keep enforcing it. None of it is sensible or authentic.

I suspect she’s pretending that Eesabella is her “real name” (as opposed to different pronunciation of the same) and doesn’t want you to embarrass her by letting it slip that she’s just regular Isabella to anyone English.

You’re getting a tough time here OP.

It’s no surprise you’ve dug your heels in - your daughter told you - who picked the name - that you are pronouncing this name wrong! How ignorant, stupid and disrespectful.

It sounds like she’s trying to fully identify with her dad’s heritage and country and wants to sound more exotic than plain old Bella, or Issy. It’s pretentious and she’ll probably be embarrassed when she’s older.

Claiming that no one has called her anything except Isa is a lie. None of her UK friends or teachers would have called her that naturally unless she attempted to enforce it, which would have met with limited success. As an adult, every time she gets a non-social phone call, or called into an appointment they will call her Isabella with the English pronunciation.

A child changing their name is a rejection of their parents’ choice for them, so it will sting. It is also asking something of you that will never feel right or natural. Ultimately, it’s their choice, but she has not been respectful about it at all.

It’s not like she said, “Mum I prefer Isa and it suits me much better. This is what feels right for me and what everyone else is calling me now.” She’s stupidly said you are wrong about your own baby name choice which is incredibly rude, she is blatantly lying/exaggerating about “no one” else calls her that, and it seems like this new insistence is to make herself seem more exotic which is juvenile and may not last. And the short name she has picked is not sustainable in the UK, she will have to keep enforcing it. None of it is sensible or authentic.

I suspect she’s pretending that Eesabella is her “real name” (as opposed to different pronunciation of the same) and doesn’t want you to embarrass her by letting it slip that she’s just regular Isabella to anyone English.

She lives in Italy.

I live in the uk now, but DD was born abroad and I was never able to get her back to the uk with me (as any court would rule she should stay where she is ordinarily resident). I obviously stayed in the same country as her until she was 16. I appreciate “ee-as” is a relatively normal nickname in the country she is from but that’s not what I named her!

You’re getting a tough time here OP.

It’s no surprise you’ve dug your heels in - your daughter told you - who picked the name - that you are pronouncing this name wrong! How ignorant, stupid and disrespectful.

It sounds like she’s trying to fully identify with her dad’s heritage and country and wants to sound more exotic than plain old Bella, or Issy. It’s pretentious and she’ll probably be embarrassed when she’s older.

Claiming that no one has called her anything except Isa is a lie. None of her UK friends or teachers would have called her that naturally unless she attempted to enforce it, which would have met with limited success. As an adult, every time she gets a non-social phone call, or called into an appointment they will call her Isabella with the English pronunciation.

A child changing their name is a rejection of their parents’ choice for them, so it will sting. It is also asking something of you that will never feel right or natural. Ultimately, it’s their choice, but she has not been respectful about it at all.

It’s not like she said, “Mum I prefer Isa and it suits me much better. This is what feels right for me and what everyone else is calling me now.” She’s stupidly said you are wrong about your own baby name choice which is incredibly rude, she is blatantly lying/exaggerating about “no one” else calls her that, and it seems like this new insistence is to make herself seem more exotic which is juvenile and may not last. And the short name she has picked is not sustainable in the UK, she will have to keep enforcing it. None of it is sensible or authentic.

I suspect she’s pretending that Eesabella is her “real name” (as opposed to different pronunciation of the same) and doesn’t want you to embarrass her by letting it slip that she’s just regular Isabella to anyone English.

I didn’t choose to raise her in Italy I had a very short relationship with her dad and ended up pregnant, he promised me the world, broke up with me before her 1st birthday and refused to let me return to the uk where my family and support network were. Spoke to lawyers and was basically told I’d be wasting my time as it would always be ruled that she should remain in the country she is ordinarily resident. He kicked off so much that my family would have to come and visit us in Italy as he always claimed he didn’t trust me to bring her back if I took her to the uk!

It’s a bit odd tbh but her choice. I get called all manner of different names from different members of the family and I love that but each to their own.

Italy. I don’t feel like I should put on a fake accent when saying my own child’s name that seems very odd!