Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I've got myself in a pickle for telling a lie

257 replies

mumspiration1997 · 20/01/2025 22:08

Ahh I've really got myself into a pickle.

A family member asked me the week before Christmas would I drop a gift into someone.

It would have taken me an hour and I genuinely was putting it off until I had time I even thought ill pop it in after Xmas (the recipient was on holidays so did not see the immediate rush)

I was transferred the £40 to buy the gift.

However when my family member asked me did I sent it in I said yes I did (and as I said fully intended to before the recipient returned home) and now someone (another family member) has checked for it while checking on the house and its not obviously there . I already said I dropped it off otherwise I could say ah it's still in my car.

Now they have just text saying.

"Hi tried to contact you. Either the gift wasn't there or it has been stolen I'd like to investigate this further. I'm down £40"

I'm so embarrassed! I didn't steal the money. Should I just say "I don't know what's happened I'm transferring you the money back" or fabricate some story about "Oh the neighbours cat took it"

I am NOT saying I didn't leave it in at this stage, I feel belittled enough.

Help!!!! I'll never fib again...but I'll also never take on anyone else's chores again!!!!!

OP posts:
Peaceandquietandacuppa · 20/01/2025 23:19

I think you should take it round tomorrow and say whoops I left it at mine, I could have sworn I brought it when I watered your plants.

Text the person who sent you the £40. “I’m not impressed that you’re saying I stole from you. You should know I’d never do that. That’s the last favour from me”

Fencehedge · 20/01/2025 23:18

So you want to lie and then compound it by letting everyone down too? Get a grip!

Just say "sorry, I'm a total tool. It's been in my garage and I'll drop it round tomorrow"

Don't blame the poor cleaner!!

Quinlan · 20/01/2025 23:17

If they have a cleaner, that’s how is going to get the blame for stealing it. Someone could lose their job because you’re “too soft to say no” but won’t actually bother doing it.

Oreyt · 20/01/2025 23:16

mumspiration1997 · 20/01/2025 23:10

I think I'm just going to transfer the money back and say I'm not sure what's happened.

To be quite honest it's not about trust there's plenty of other people that could have been asked. I'm just too soft to say no...on top of all the other things I have to do.

My god.

thaegumathteth · 20/01/2025 23:14

Transferring the money back and saying you don't know what's happened makes no sense.

You've lied and that's not ok just because you're 'too soft to say no'. It doesn't sound like that arduous a task.

Tbh if I was the person who had asked the favour I'd assume you had planned on keeping the cash but were called out so returned it. It would really colour my view of you. I suppose that doesn't matter as long as you just don't want to be asked again but I'd hate to be considered untrustworthy.

Just be honest:

McSpoot · 20/01/2025 23:14

mumspiration1997 · 20/01/2025 23:10

I think I'm just going to transfer the money back and say I'm not sure what's happened.

To be quite honest it's not about trust there's plenty of other people that could have been asked. I'm just too soft to say no...on top of all the other things I have to do.

So, you’ll continue to lie and, to make yourself feel better, somehow blame the other person for choosing to have asked you?

Lovely.

bournevilleismyfavourite · 20/01/2025 23:13

Jeez! Just get the gift and do one of the apologies above. Don’t be so feeble. You lied so make it right. I had sympathy with you to start but now you’re just being annoying.

mumspiration1997 · 20/01/2025 23:10

I think I'm just going to transfer the money back and say I'm not sure what's happened.

To be quite honest it's not about trust there's plenty of other people that could have been asked. I'm just too soft to say no...on top of all the other things I have to do.

OP posts:
fluffyblanky · 20/01/2025 23:10

'Oh my goodness, I gave it to my friend Susan/DP/DB to drop round as they were passing. I have just spoken to them and they completely forgot and it's in their car still! they are mortified! So sorry, none of this was intentional and I will get it there this weekend, I promise'

Fetburzswefg · 20/01/2025 23:10

You have to come clean. It’s by far the best way, even though it feels awkward and embarrassing. Just say something like ‘I’m really sorry about this but in the pre-Christmas rush I didn’t have time to sort drop the present round. I told you I had done it so that you wouldn’t worry, and I intended to sort it before X returns from holiday. I will drop the gift off tomorrow if you like, or I totally understand if you would just prefer me to return the money. Again I’m really sorry about this.’

Your family member will have much more respect for you coming clean and making amends now than if you feed them another lie and carry on deceiving them. Owning up to these things always makes you feel better in the long run!

Millyjanice · 20/01/2025 23:09

Many are advising you lie on top of the lie that got you into the mess in the first place.

Not a good idea.

Viviennemary · 20/01/2025 23:07

Summerdew · 20/01/2025 22:12

Buy the gift, take it round and put it behind the sofa / in a bedroom and say you left it out of sight in case of burglars.

How sneaky.

Jenasaurus · 20/01/2025 23:07

Say when she asked you. You were embarrassed as realised you had forgotten and planned to take round before they returned but then when they sent someone over were ashamed to confess. Then apologise and say you will pop it round tomorrow. Its honest and the truth so probably the best option

Frostynoman · 20/01/2025 23:07

agree with honesty being the best path however if you need to save face / want another option then say yes you did drop it over but then over thought it / got worried about it being pinched so took it back to re-deliver when you help them unpack

Quinlan · 20/01/2025 23:07

You’ve had a month to sort this, you were given the money, you lied about it and you planned to take it round on the day they get back?

Wow. Tell the truth so your relative knows not to ask you for a favour again. Trust is important. Someone placing their trust in you is important. And you treated it like this?

Oreyt · 20/01/2025 23:05

mumspiration1997 · 20/01/2025 22:53

Thanks all! I know honestly I'm a disaster.

The person is getting home tomorrow so I was planning on going in to help them unpack and say hello. Bring milk etc so when I was there I was thinking of saying "I was just in welcoming DR home and went to put the suitcases out into the garage and there was the cases of wine" no wonder Jenny couldn't find it. Perhaps the cleaner set put of the way in order to do the floors or something. ???? Does this sound pathetic

Noooo.

Don't keep lying and definitely don't try to blame others.

God sake!!

Iwishiwasapolarbear · 20/01/2025 23:04

maddening · 20/01/2025 23:04

Say you had bought it and wrapped it and that was what you meant when they asked and then forgot to take it round but they jogged your memory and it is in your car since before Xmas.

I would also do this.

viques · 20/01/2025 23:04

DaDaDoDaiDa · 20/01/2025 22:15

Don't tell more lies. Drop the gift round ASAP. Tell the truth - you intended to buy and drop the gift but hadn't got round to it, but you didn't want the giver to think you'd forgotten so you said it was done - it's with them now, you're sorry you unintentionally caused them to worry as that was what you'd been trying to avoid.

This, it’s the truth, you won’t get caught up with telling lies on lies .

maddening · 20/01/2025 23:04

Say you had bought it and wrapped it and that was what you meant when they asked and then forgot to take it round but they jogged your memory and it is in your car since before Xmas.

Gggglinda · 20/01/2025 23:03

Drop it round asap and hide it in a very well hidden spot where the family member wouldn't have looked. Then text back saying oh it's fine I hid it well in such & such spot. Make sure they don't have a ring camera recording either or you'll look like a liar.

Millyjanice · 20/01/2025 23:02

Just come clean and say you said you’d done it because you’d every intention of doing it but got bogged down with other stuff and forgot.
You didn’t want to say you hadn’t got round to it in case you stressed them out.
Apologise for fibbing. Say why you fibbed.
They’ll be relieved, it’s not missing.

Learn to say “No” in future. It’s much less hassle.

LostittoBostik · 20/01/2025 23:00

TrixieFatell · 20/01/2025 22:14

Could you not say that because the person is away you didn't want to leave an expensive gift out until they had returned? Say you misunderstood what they were asking in terms of have you done it.

Edited to say the suggestion above is better

Edited

This.

Don't reply today. Buy it early tomorrow. Say you thought they meant "have you go it" not "have you left it there". Send a photo to demonstrate it's in your possession.

Did you just completely forget about it since Xmas?

LadyLapsang · 20/01/2025 22:59

Oh what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive

Just apologise and do what you promised.

Roryno · 20/01/2025 22:59

Could you not say “it’s here, I decided it was safer and I’m dropping it round tomorrow when they’re back.”

Getkettleon · 20/01/2025 22:57

Please update us tomorrow as I'm weirdly invested in this! Haha