The brainlessness of an English Tutor. Fuming

My English tutor recommended I read the handmades tale when I was in year seven. I did. It didn’t make me uneasy but I think in retrospect I was probably too young to fully understand everything that happened in the book.

Im sorry your daughter felt uncomfortable. Hopefully a solution can be found and the school can take lessons for future years and reading tasks.

Jesus. You need to get over it OP

Children of 12 vary enormously in their development so you just have to play it by ear. I've taught 12-year-olds who are still reading the equivalent of Peter Rabbit, and others who have hoovered up Lord of the Rings and are now looking for something more challenging.

Crikey!!!!!

If the school is teaching and encouraging children to read this book it will be part of the National Curriculum or from an approved reading list!

Books like this described a dystopian literature are useful tools to explore themes and issues that are fundamentally about feminism and coming of age.

The way you describe it you would think that your daughter was reading erotic literature, which this book absolutely is not, and it’s much tamer than the Haindmaids tale (based on the Ceaușescu regime and the beliefs of fundamentalist evangelical Christian’s) or even Romeo and Juliet which involves 14 year olds having a secret relationship, marriage, murders and suicides.

Perhaps because it’s set in the future you are making this into something it isn’t, it’s about feminism, self determination and smashing the patriarchy’s control.

Regardless the content of this book is considerably less disturbing to a child than most soap storylines, and the evening news.

You seem like a complete nightmare as a parent, flying off into a Mumsnet rage with half baked facts threatening to say the most offensive word to a teacher!

Finally my Daughter read Noughts and Crosses in year 7 alongside Romeo & Juliet. She enjoyed it so much that we bought her the rest of the books in the anthology. Not quite sure what the concern is about reading books that gently explore more adult themes.

Parenting is not about preventing your child from learning and forming their own opinions and looking at different perspectives through the use of literature, it’s about ensuring that they can approach you with any questions about what they have read!

Some of the people on this group are very judgemental and have a tactless, mean way of saying things. I agree that the comment was probably taken out of context and you’re best not to judge the teacher on this alone. However…… I am also a mum and if I saw my child upset, especially over something ruining their confidence, I would be angry too.

"When were you born? Between 12 - 18 we read either classics like Austen, Dickens, Zola, etc etc, or books aimed at... OC - older children - 12 - 18 year olds. You can still even buy them now. In my day, whole book stores had shelves cram packed with them.
We didn't read scary books or upsetting books. "

Can't Dickens be upsetting? And Zola's work can be very violent, can't it? I haven't read it, but I remember a man's member being cut off in the film Germinal.

"I don't think YA should be aimed at 12 year olds. A 12 year old is not a young adult, far from it. An 18 year old is a young adult. 12 - 18 is older child. I wish the government would get input from professionals with expertise around child development to decide on age ratings."

That's not what young adult means in the book world. For some reason, they use the expression differently (incorrectly) to mean teenagers. A 12 year old is at secondary school and the school library will have adult books, books for actual adults not just teen books.
Most school set books are adult books (in the sense of books for adults and not the other meaning of course).

So I start off thinking, is this something like Schindler's List or something. And then I realise this is mumsnet 2025 so it's going to be a 'gay panic' scenario.

So you've not read the book, and your daughter twisted/exaggerated the truth, and you've still got your knickers in a twist?!

I thought you were going to say Mr Grey or whatever it's called . Your child is being over sensitive if it's a class book then of course it's appropriate. My child reads adult books because she likes better language some have some adult bits in it but she's 13 she knows the birds and the bees for goodness sake. She also watches the odd horror film she's not a baby she's a sensible kid way more than I was at her age. Im just pleased she enjoys reading still as most of her friends don't.

OP you don't sound like an absolute arse, and nor does the teacher, glad you've got to an understanding.

As the child has been allowed to choose a different book, the problem is solved? unless you think the book is too sexually explicit or violent for that age group , in which case you could politely point that out?

"I have deep chats with DD about appropriate clothing choices, make up and how to present yourself. About how some SA victims can be victim blamed and how there is a culture of its just men."

So you have already taught her that it's her responsibility to stop men from SAing her so that she can victim blame herself if anything bad happens. How thoughtful of you.

You sound like an absolute arse! Poor teachers!

trilogy fletcher 2 more to go

I agree with this.

I would hope that any head teacher who has a parent calling a member of her staff a c**t would tell that parent that she wasn’t welcome anywhere near the school until she attended anger management, and gave an apology. It’s a vile word to be thrown around about something like this.

This is exactly what we're dealing with every single day from parents. The time spent dealing with every single complaint is taking education time away from your children. Is this what you want?
What other solution could they have offered? She doesn't have to read it. Job done. Move on.

My son is mixed raced, his brother has Autism. He had to read of mice and men. It made him uncomfortable but also give him the chance to express himself in class as to why it made him feel how it did. It is just words....

I know and it was concepts, not words, I was thinking about (the 'words,words, words' bit was Hamlet and I was being somewhat facetious, perhaps). But a mature 12 year old would be ok with most books aimed at 14 year olds (but not this one, I think, since it's a take off of The Handmaid's Tale), but an immature 15 year old might not be. Which was my actual point. And when I wrote this the OP had not said what the book was - which made her request for views a bit pointless. How do we know what her school library contains, we are not omniscient.

Had a look at Eve of Man. Probably not suitable for a 12 year old, since it posits arranged sex with unknown men and then a love story. It's sci fi, which can be challenging with its ideas. If she chose it she does not have to finish it. Was it from the school library? In which case perhaps someone needs to be checking what students are taking out?
But no need to fly into a wobbly, at least she did not pick up de Sade's Justine. Then you would have problems and I read that (and The Story of O) at 15 or so...shoved into the adult library by an unhelpful librarian at 13, though I think I found them in second hand bookshops.

I think 14 vs 12 is not a big gap, though social understanding of 12 year olds vary and many would not cope with older concepts. But OP is DNBU that dismissing books with what could be very disturbing content as ‘just words’ is wrong.

It is not about being capable of reading. It is about age appropriate concepts.

What book is it? I'd think a twelve year old capable of reading and understanding something graded for 14 year olds because these 'gradings' are subjective and quite wide. What made you DD uncomfortable? And it is just 'words, words, words,' (An English teacher didn't say that.)