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AIBU?

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Original poster

The brainlessness of an English Tutor. Fuming

634 replies

crazymomma93 · 20/01/2025 19:22

Long time lurker, please bear with me.
My DD12 has been having some issues with her reading book. It has been making her feel uncomfortable, from the Genre and style of writing. So I have looked into it, got a jist of the book, she has pointed out some bits that made her uneasy and I looked up the age rating which was 14+. Now typically if you knew me, you would know I am not "that Mom" but I emailed her Form Tutor to ask if there was an alternative. Tutor emailed back after talking to English dept and DD dosn't need to read the book any longer, she can bring in her own. No problem. My DD has just told me she spoke with her own English Tutor, the day before I sent the email to tell her Form Tutor. After listening to DD, English Tutor responds "it's just words"
ITS JUST WORDS? Sorry is that not pretty much the Tutors whole career, teaching English?
I need calming because I am close to emailing said teacher calling her a c**t, because, you know "it's just words". See how her feelings are when she reads something that makes her uncomfortable.
My DD turned to her to ask because the book was making her uneasy and that is the response. What about children who get verbally bullied? Where is this Womans morals. AIBU?

OP posts:
mealienpleasehelp · 20/01/2025 19:39

I get the sense this is yet another thread where the majority of posters follow the sentiments of the first couple of comments.

I'm an English teacher myself and agree that "it's just words" - if that's what she actually said - is dismissively flippant and, yes, brainless.

You really don't come across as "that mum".

YANBU

Blue278 · 20/01/2025 19:39

Ugh. ‘Fuming’. Stop fuming and calm down.

Newnamesameme · 20/01/2025 19:38

What's the book op?

cansu · 20/01/2025 19:36

Books that are studied in school will sometimes be challenging and thought provoking. As children get older they are expected to discuss and read about more sensitive subjects. Pointing out that your dd is not having to experience the situation herself and that the words themselves are not harmful is perhaps an attempt to help your dd deal with this. Jumping in to remove things that challenge us not always the best idea. Sometimes more discussion and reflection is better. E.g yes that is quite a difficult paragraph. That situation was awful for the character. We empathise or sympathise with her or the author has used an emotive word so we feel like this'. This might be more useful for your dd than simply saying let's get rid of the book! What is the book?

Hercisback1 · 20/01/2025 19:35

You sound deranged. Chill a bit and don't email teachers swearing.

Perhaps they meant "it's just words" as in don't let it get to you, it's not real.

wizzbitt · 20/01/2025 19:35

I'm here for the book reveal too 🍿

JRSKSSBH · 20/01/2025 19:35

SometimesCalmPerson · 20/01/2025 19:28

Did you hear the entire conversation? It doesn’t sound like it was a good one if the biggest thing your dd took from it was ‘it’s just words’ but it’s never helpful to try and judge a teachers actions based on one sentence relayed by a child.

On the surface, of course that seems like a bizarre thing for the teacher to say, but without hearing the conversation and knowing the book, there’s no need to start teacher bashing.

This. What is the book??????? Without that info, I am going to deem you “that mother”.

ShadowsOfTheDays · 20/01/2025 19:35

This has reminded me, I was once in the local library and a women came in, trailed by her very embarrassed teenage son, shouting because the librarian had recommended The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

I think I looked at her like she was mental; who doesn't want their children informed about history?

Porgs2 · 20/01/2025 19:35

She’s not going to get a choice when studying set texts….

LottieMary · 20/01/2025 19:35

Books don't have age ratings.

SoupDragon · 20/01/2025 19:34

You are seriously overreacting.

ShadowsOfTheDays · 20/01/2025 19:33

What's so bad about reading a book you don't love or agree with? That's as useful for learning as reading books you are really comfortable with.

ImWearingPantaloons · 20/01/2025 19:33

What book was it? Wasn't Boris Johnson's autobiography was it?

pointythings · 20/01/2025 19:32

It matters what book it is. You also have to recognise that your DD is now in secondary school, so English isn't going to be all about the cute kittens and baa-lambs. Literature gets tough at times. That's the whole point.

Trousername · 20/01/2025 19:32

Can you elaborate on what it was about the book that made your DD "uncomfortable"?

And yes, what book was it?

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 20/01/2025 19:31

Fetburzswefg · 20/01/2025 19:30

You’re being mental. Absolutely fine to ask to change the book (although I may revise my position on this if it turns out you have issues with it because you’re a massive homophobe or whatever), but wanting to contact someone and call them a cunt for making an inoffensive comment you don’t agree with is absurd. You need to get your emotions under control and stop being so ridiculous.

You are op, you're acting like a nut

Season 6 Ugh GIF by Parks and Recreation
AlwaysLookOnTheSnarkSide · 20/01/2025 19:31

Didn’t Realise any books in this country had an age limit

creamsnugjumper · 20/01/2025 19:30

What was making her feel uneasy?

I actually agree with you it's a flippant comment that would make me wonder what she actually meant by it.

But then posters saying "you are that mum" doesn't really help, just using words to be mean for no reason.

I currently have a graphics a level tutor telling the kids to use canva...which is boiling my piss! But nobody else will care.

Fetburzswefg · 20/01/2025 19:30

You’re being mental. Absolutely fine to ask to change the book (although I may revise my position on this if it turns out you have issues with it because you’re a massive homophobe or whatever), but wanting to contact someone and call them a cunt for making an inoffensive comment you don’t agree with is absurd. You need to get your emotions under control and stop being so ridiculous.

BaronessBomburst · 20/01/2025 19:30

I also need to know which book!

Poppyseeds79 · 20/01/2025 19:29

Also nosey to find out book

DaDaDoDaiDa · 20/01/2025 19:29

Just joining to find out what the book is.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 20/01/2025 19:28

YANBU that 'it's just words' is a completely bizarre thing for an English teacher to say. Isn't the whole point of the subject teaching that they're so much more than just words?! Shakespeare is no different to the estate agent leaflet that came through my door today if that's the case...

Obviously you'd be U to call her a cunt, but you know that.

What's the book?

LunaNorth · 20/01/2025 19:28

Is it Of Mice and Men?

LostittoBostik · 20/01/2025 19:28

Part of the point of literature is that it exposes us to uncomfortable truths. I think the tutor is right to stand by their discipline.