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AIBU?

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Original poster

The brainlessness of an English Tutor. Fuming

634 replies

crazymomma93 · 20/01/2025 19:22

Long time lurker, please bear with me.
My DD12 has been having some issues with her reading book. It has been making her feel uncomfortable, from the Genre and style of writing. So I have looked into it, got a jist of the book, she has pointed out some bits that made her uneasy and I looked up the age rating which was 14+. Now typically if you knew me, you would know I am not "that Mom" but I emailed her Form Tutor to ask if there was an alternative. Tutor emailed back after talking to English dept and DD dosn't need to read the book any longer, she can bring in her own. No problem. My DD has just told me she spoke with her own English Tutor, the day before I sent the email to tell her Form Tutor. After listening to DD, English Tutor responds "it's just words"
ITS JUST WORDS? Sorry is that not pretty much the Tutors whole career, teaching English?
I need calming because I am close to emailing said teacher calling her a c**t, because, you know "it's just words". See how her feelings are when she reads something that makes her uncomfortable.
My DD turned to her to ask because the book was making her uneasy and that is the response. What about children who get verbally bullied? Where is this Womans morals. AIBU?

OP posts:
LucastaNoir · 20/01/2025 19:54

LottieMary · 20/01/2025 19:35

Books don't have age ratings.

This. Where are you getting the information that a book is 14+?

Saschka · 20/01/2025 19:54

Given OP hasn’t been back, I suspect the book in question was Noddy Goes to Toyland

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 20/01/2025 19:53

HPandthelastwish · 20/01/2025 19:49

What do you mean by age rating? An Accelerated Reader rating? As that is just to give a guide on content.

My school library had the True Blood series I commented to the librarian that they really weren't appropriate for anyone below year 10/11 as they are very explicit. Her response was that they don't gatekeep books.

You sound unhinged though OP, she had an issue with the book. She was allowed to change the book. They are indeed 'just words' and what bothers one person will not bother another. DD felt similarly about To Kill A Mockingbird and Huckleberry Finn due to the way African Americans are referred to throughout them, non-issue she just to the library and swapped them.

Not “gate keeping” books isn’t better (or worse) than “gate keeping” any other kind of media or artistic creation.

And “not gatekeeping a book” isn’t quite the same as expecting pupils to read said specific book, is it?

Talipesmum · 20/01/2025 19:53

ARealitycheck · 20/01/2025 19:50

Having given much thought on which book it was. I can conclude the poor child was subjected to 'Much ado about nothing'. 😅

To be fair, yes, there are an awful lot of words in that.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 20/01/2025 19:53

OP won't be back now you've all attacked her will she

Bakedpotatoes · 20/01/2025 19:52

madamweb · 20/01/2025 19:50

I've reported that post

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Thank you - saved me a job. That's going to give me nightmares.

Butchyrestingface · 20/01/2025 19:52

If it was American Psycho, OP might have a point. But she's displaying some Bateman-lite tendencies herself.

WonderingWanda · 20/01/2025 19:52

Totally disproportionate reaction op.

TENSsion · 20/01/2025 19:52

My guess is Heroes by Robert Cormier.

And OP, you’re overreacting… massively

madamweb · 20/01/2025 19:51

InJadeHedgehog · 20/01/2025 19:49

I had to read a book called Brother in the Land for my GCSEs it is about the aftermath of a nuclear war.
It shit the absolute life out of me. The only way I got through that was remembering it was just words. That the characters weren’t real.

Edited

Oh yes I will never forget that! But it was powerful and thought provoking. Quite a few of the Anthony Horowitz books are similar and very dark but also good for starting discussion

fluffiphlox · 20/01/2025 19:51

It‘s gist, by the way.

comedycentral · 20/01/2025 19:50

madamweb · 20/01/2025 19:50

I've reported that post

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Me too, way too graphic.

ARealitycheck · 20/01/2025 19:50

Having given much thought on which book it was. I can conclude the poor child was subjected to 'Much ado about nothing'. 😅

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 20/01/2025 19:50

LostittoBostik · 20/01/2025 19:28

Part of the point of literature is that it exposes us to uncomfortable truths. I think the tutor is right to stand by their discipline.

Partially, yes. Or at least with certain aspects of human nature, which isn’t quite the same as “truths”.

but more importantly:

There are some truths that I - as an adult - choose to not engage with unless absolutely unavoidable. I do not need to be aware of every facet of human depravity, despair, stupidity etc.

Which is why one should be sensitive potential issues and triggers when introducing certain concepts and pieces of art to minors and respect their right to protect their psychological integrity.

madamweb · 20/01/2025 19:50

SodOffbacktoaibu · 20/01/2025 19:47

Or me. Fucking hell. Thanks for sharing that!

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I've reported that post

AffIt · 20/01/2025 19:50

WHAT IS THE FUCKING BOOK?!

(Although I really want it to be, as per a PP's suggestion, Boris Johnson's autobiography 😄)

ScaryM0nster · 20/01/2025 19:49

Hard to judge whether you’re overreacting without knowing what the book is.

HPandthelastwish · 20/01/2025 19:49

What do you mean by age rating? An Accelerated Reader rating? As that is just to give a guide on content.

My school library had the True Blood series I commented to the librarian that they really weren't appropriate for anyone below year 10/11 as they are very explicit. Her response was that they don't gatekeep books.

You sound unhinged though OP, she had an issue with the book. She was allowed to change the book. They are indeed 'just words' and what bothers one person will not bother another. DD felt similarly about To Kill A Mockingbird and Huckleberry Finn due to the way African Americans are referred to throughout them, non-issue she just to the library and swapped them.

Ilikeanicecupofteainthemorning · 20/01/2025 19:49

yup we need to know what the book is

SomethingSScintillating · 20/01/2025 19:49

Surely one theme of to kill? a mocking bird is about the power of words

InJadeHedgehog · 20/01/2025 19:49

I had to read a book called Brother in the Land for my GCSEs it is about the aftermath of a nuclear war.
It shit the absolute life out of me. The only way I got through that was remembering it was just words. That the characters weren’t real.

September1013 · 20/01/2025 19:48

Depends what the book is.

Lots of things in modern society can make us feel “uncomfortable”, part of growing up is being aware of this and learning strategies to cope rather than just shying away from it.

If the content makes her feel uncomfortable because of a particular traumatic experience or personal circumstance then that’s a bit different and the tutor should be considerate of this.

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 20/01/2025 19:48

Also, another vote for "tell us what the book is".

Viviennemary · 20/01/2025 19:48

You sound like a hysterical fusspot. What a carry on over a book.

LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 20/01/2025 19:47

As an English teacher, I can guarantee that you're being discussed in the staff room as "that mum".

And they are just words, I don't understand how you've taken such offence to this statement of fact.

Chill out mate, it's not that deep.