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AIBU?

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Original poster

The brainlessness of an English Tutor. Fuming

634 replies

crazymomma93 · 20/01/2025 19:22

Long time lurker, please bear with me.
My DD12 has been having some issues with her reading book. It has been making her feel uncomfortable, from the Genre and style of writing. So I have looked into it, got a jist of the book, she has pointed out some bits that made her uneasy and I looked up the age rating which was 14+. Now typically if you knew me, you would know I am not "that Mom" but I emailed her Form Tutor to ask if there was an alternative. Tutor emailed back after talking to English dept and DD dosn't need to read the book any longer, she can bring in her own. No problem. My DD has just told me she spoke with her own English Tutor, the day before I sent the email to tell her Form Tutor. After listening to DD, English Tutor responds "it's just words"
ITS JUST WORDS? Sorry is that not pretty much the Tutors whole career, teaching English?
I need calming because I am close to emailing said teacher calling her a c**t, because, you know "it's just words". See how her feelings are when she reads something that makes her uncomfortable.
My DD turned to her to ask because the book was making her uneasy and that is the response. What about children who get verbally bullied? Where is this Womans morals. AIBU?

OP posts:
mealienpleasehelp · 20/01/2025 20:38

GentlyAnarchistic · 20/01/2025 20:26

Newsflash... you are 'that' DM.

And you, along with many others, are 'that' poster.

I feel that people's comprehension skills are off here.

What a pile on.

WhoisRebecca · 20/01/2025 20:37

ShadowsOfTheDays · 20/01/2025 19:35

This has reminded me, I was once in the local library and a women came in, trailed by her very embarrassed teenage son, shouting because the librarian had recommended The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

I think I looked at her like she was mental; who doesn't want their children informed about history?

It’s not a great text for that. There wouldn’t have been children living in Auschwitz and wandering freely around the camp and there’s no way a Nazi commanders’ family would have been ignorant about what was going on. Bruno would have been prime fodder for Hitler youth. Also - why would a German boy not know the word fuhrer? It’s not taught in Jewish schools and there’s a reason for that.

I am an English teacher but not a brainless one and I don’t really think my hardworking colleagues should be referred to as ‘brainless’ either. If the text isn’t suitable, choose a different one. Children develop at different rates.

JanglyBeads · 20/01/2025 20:37

Although I think the OP's reaction is a bit extreme and v confrontational, I do agree with her point. If we don't think words are essential and powerful and beautiful then why on earth do we study English Literature and Language at all??
Words, especially in an extended piece like a novel, enter our minds, they are very powerful.
However if she's in secondary then unless she has experienced trauma she is going to be expected to read what is on the syllabus.

Gwenhwyfar · 20/01/2025 20:36

ARealitycheck · 20/01/2025 20:32

Good point. Look at the majority of the early Disney films. Some incredibly dark stories.

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Look at Romeo and Juliet. Underage sex, violence and both main characters dead at the end. It was taught to us at age 13.

ARealitycheck · 20/01/2025 20:34

TabithaWilliams · 20/01/2025 20:32

We read Stephen king and Richard Laymon at that age - James Herbert The rats was the most common free reading book in class. We also read Lace and Rivals at break 😂 can't see an issue with the book in question.

Richard Layman. Some serious blood and sex in his books. 😁

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 20/01/2025 20:34

heyhopotato · 20/01/2025 20:02

I wrote a reply with an example from a book, but it got deleted, so apparently it was too bad to even say on the internet in a forum of adults, let alone in a book where children might read it.

So the short version is, yes books have age ratings.

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That was a pointless exercise unless it was an excerpt from the book being discussed; which I assume it wasn't.

The OP has now revealed it's Tom and Giovanna Fletcher's Eve of Man.

Gwenhwyfar · 20/01/2025 20:33

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 20/01/2025 20:26

No, Atticus loses the case. IIRC he believes he can get the conviction overturned but Tom Robinson is shot and killed trying to escape from prison.

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Oh dear. There goes my memory.

TabithaWilliams · 20/01/2025 20:32

We read Stephen king and Richard Laymon at that age - James Herbert The rats was the most common free reading book in class. We also read Lace and Rivals at break 😂 can't see an issue with the book in question.

ARealitycheck · 20/01/2025 20:32

Gwenhwyfar · 20/01/2025 20:30

Most of the best stories involve something negative. Even when there's a happy ending there's usually some adversity to tackle.

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Good point. Look at the majority of the early Disney films. Some incredibly dark stories.

mealienpleasehelp · 20/01/2025 20:31

Mickelodeonssnazzypot · 20/01/2025 20:18

got a jist of the book

The correct spelling is gist, OP.
Calm down.

Unpleasant.

CremeEggThief · 20/01/2025 20:31

YABU. What a very strange thing to get so worked up over!🙄

Gwenhwyfar · 20/01/2025 20:30

istheheatingonyet · 20/01/2025 20:21

Its dreadful what kids are exposed to. Where is the fun? the humour, the light and shade?

Most of the best stories involve something negative. Even when there's a happy ending there's usually some adversity to tackle.

ERthree · 20/01/2025 20:30

I am not shocked by the teachers response. No wonder our education system is a mess. I complained about my daughters spelling mistakes in a essay not being underlined as a mistake, the teacher told me that spelling wasn't important. That was many years ago. I wonder if their payslip was wrong and they were down a couple of hundred pounds if they would shrug and say it's just numbers.

Gwenhwyfar · 20/01/2025 20:29

viques · 20/01/2025 20:20

Fahrenheit 451 is about book burning and censorship! Which is a bit appropriate given the opening post.

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Ha ha, yes, I remember something about book burning. I just found it boring at the time, but I can imagine there'd be complaints about it nowadays.

andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead · 20/01/2025 20:29

You are being unreasonable.

RedDogBowl · 20/01/2025 20:29

SeaBaseAlpha · 20/01/2025 20:22

Z for Zachariah?

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Z for Zachariah is a hard, traumatic, claustrophobic read that I did at 14/15. It’s probably why I can imagine a teacher saying “Its just words”, to a pupil.

Newnamesameme · 20/01/2025 20:28

Ohthatsabitshit · 20/01/2025 20:27

@crazymomma93 I had to support one of my dds in a similar situation a few years ago. It absolutely is ok not to want to study a book that upsets you. Children should be encouraged to take a stand in a polite and sensible way. It’s hard to go against your class and authority in that way and is admirable IMO.

Her dd is no longer required to read the book. It was easily resolved.

arcticpandas · 20/01/2025 20:27

I wouldn't go against a teacher's reading list unless my DC was really suffering. Some things can be hard/boring/sad and we've read those chapters together. He's highly sensitive so needs a handhold sometimes but I wouldn't say no, not reading that without having tried to help him deal with his feelings first.

Gwenhwyfar · 20/01/2025 20:27

HPandthelastwish · 20/01/2025 20:19

Yes, but DD is autistic and the N-word made her feel uncomfortable, she was preoccupied of what if someone saw her reading it etc and general overthinking. It's a non-issue there are plenty of other good fiction and non-fictional books that explore the issues.

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Ah, the worry of someone seeing her reading it? I can get that as I've had the same feeling on the bus e.g. reading a book about a certain group with members of that group sitting there!

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 20/01/2025 20:27

N0tAnAcadem1c · 20/01/2025 20:25

Or Children of the Dust?

Quite a few of us 80s kids scarred by the post-nuclear holocaust genre...😁

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I loved Children of the Dust.

I was starting to get into Stephen King at 12. Carrie was quite an eye-opener.

ARealitycheck · 20/01/2025 20:27

The book in question imo is suitable for secondary school. It will bring up subjects entirely relevant to girls & young women today according to the synopsis. I'm thinking along the lines of arranged marriage or parental non approval of choice of partner.

Ohthatsabitshit · 20/01/2025 20:27

@crazymomma93 I had to support one of my dds in a similar situation a few years ago. It absolutely is ok not to want to study a book that upsets you. Children should be encouraged to take a stand in a polite and sensible way. It’s hard to go against your class and authority in that way and is admirable IMO.

GentlyAnarchistic · 20/01/2025 20:26

Newsflash... you are 'that' DM.

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 20/01/2025 20:26

Gwenhwyfar · 20/01/2025 20:23

Doesn't Atticus win the case in the end? I don't understand this.

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No, Atticus loses the case. IIRC he believes he can get the conviction overturned but Tom Robinson is shot and killed trying to escape from prison.

Twaddlepip · 20/01/2025 20:26

SemperIdem · 20/01/2025 20:22

A previous poster shared an excerpt from a book, to demonstrate that no, it is not “just words”. It was graphic and duly deleted. Thus proving the point I suppose. I gave a sanitised explanation to the poster who queried what was deleted/why.

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I meant the original poster sharing that, not your account of it. You’d just highlighted that post to me and indirectly that this thread has gone nutso.